What will people think?

One of the largest battlefields in the war of life concerns identity and acceptance. No one wants to be picked last for a game of soccer, or never asked for a date, or rejected at job interviews. Politicians run for office wanting to change the world yet those votes affirm their value. Tozer says this desire to please people deeply implanted within us and asks how it can be uprooted to shift our life-drive from pleasing others to pleasing God? Fear of what people will think of us or do to us is a constant Bible theme.

“Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.” (1 Peter 3:13–17)

Tozer’s answer to shifting our life-drive is not by doing it alone, or with the help of others, or by education or by training. He says this requires is a reversal of nature, a supernatural act.

My analytical mind processes his answer this way . . .

Sin brings a sense of guilt, of not measuring up. While the human heart might not realize that “all fall short of the glory of God” that sense of falling short is there. Because of it, the human heart, either in ignorance of God’s remedy or in rejection of it, tries to rid itself of this undercurrent of guilt. Many methods are used from doing as much good as possible to making as many friends as possible. The idea is that human acceptance will make this sense of guilt less real and less important. However, the more we apply our human solutions, the greater becomes our sense of it. Those efforts wind up a vicious circle because they do not work.

The only solution is dealing with the guilt by acknowledging our sin and seeking forgiveness and cleansing. He is the only one who can wash it away and He does it by a total acceptance of us, just as we are.

Why then do Christians still struggle with people-pleasing as the above verses suggest? Herein is the rub and the battlefield. My spiritual enemy tells me in a myriad of ways that God does not really love me. I am challenged by this lie continually and every time I fall for it, I want love affirmed. A call from a friend, a text from someone who is praying for me, anything that jogs my illogical thinking back to the reality of God’s amazing love. If that does not happen, instead of turning to God in trust and confessing my faith lapse, I might try people-pleasing, fish for a complement, anything to make sure I am accepted, anything that might give that sense of being unacceptable a push out the door.

^^^^^^^^

Lord Jesus, Your work is gracious assurance. You have a host of ways to show me I am being duped into trying to please others instead of putting my focus where it belongs. The bottom line is that You do love me even though the sense of that love will always be tested. However, because You died for me and because that is a done deal, Your love is a done deal, established at Calvary, established forever. There is no need to be worried about ‘what will people think’ because what You think is the measure of all things.

Self-view affects behavior

In studying ‘self-esteem’ I learned that the views I have affect the way that I behave. For instance, when I thought I knew more than my parents, at times I was rude to them. When I decided they were wise, my behavior changed. When I thought I was not as smart as everyone else, I worked hard in school to prove otherwise. When I thought I was not lovable, I acted like an unloved person.

In those growing up years and the years of studying self-esteem and related issues, it became important to understand what is true. I didn’t want to believe lies and act as if they were true. After putting my faith in Christ, He showed me that I needed to believe what He said about me, not what I thought, or what I thought other people thought. I believe that His view is the correct view — which also is a behavior-changer!

“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 6:6–11)

A dead person cannot respond to external circumstances. Temptation has no effect. Sin holds no interest. The problem is that everything but God tells me that I am not dead to those things but very much alive!

In contrast, the Word of God says my old life died with Christ. That is how I am to think — not that I am alive to sin but alive to God. This is not an easy way to think.

In the above passage, the word ‘consider’ is an accounting term in the Greek language. It means to reckon, conclude, and is related to taking inventory or keeping records. If I line up the data, I’m to put how I think and feel alongside what God says and determine which information is correct. That is, does my estimation of myself speak truth — or is what God says about me the truth?

Pride interferes with the obvious. Of course God speaks the truth, but why then do I hang on to my version of it? Is it because I think I know better? Or is it because I want to keep my ‘freedom’ to sin in the equation? Or is it because I’ve not disciplined myself to think as He thinks, putting that view of me as a dead-to-sin person deep into my sense of self? Probably all three.

^^^^^^^

Lord Jesus, You are patient with me which is wonderful, but I am too content with this status quo of a self-view that avoids thinking I am dead to sin. It is like sin itself and puts me in slavery to a life that has no ‘life’ instead of real life in You. My scattered mind has always struggled with meditation but that is only an excuse. Focus me on the reality of who and what I am in You.

Released from Ignorance

The self-help, self-image gurus say that no one should downgrade themselves by negative self-talk, such as, “Are you ever stupid” or “What a dummy you are.” In their philosophy, it is important to think well of myself if I want to have self-esteem.

I’ve done it that negative thing for years. When I goof up, I usually echo, “Stupid” or some other word or words to indicate that I just displayed my ignorance. But there is good news; this morning I realized the advice of the ‘self-image’ pushers is not biblical. Recognizing my ignorance is important!

“As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’” (1 Peter 1:14–16)

This week I had a dream about a problem that has plagued me for years. When I woke up, God impressed on my mind that this major struggle in my life was due to my ignorance. When He told me what I needed to know, It was a tearful revelation with sorrow for being so ‘stupid’ — along with tears of joy because I knew the battle was over.

Being ignorant about the motivations and behind sin is not smart. Once I know what drives me to think and do sinful ideas and actions, the victory over them becomes a sure thing. A favorite verse explains the best way to discover these motivations:

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)

The Bible is like a probing light into the dark places, the deepest thoughts and intentions that most people either do not want to admit, or do not realize their existence. The more I study the Word of God, the more I know about myself. Only pride would have me think that all those discoveries are going to be pretty.

“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” (Romans 12:3)

Thinking too highly of myself will make me blind to what is true, not just to the sinful stuff but also to any godly blessings and skills. Instead of being content with who I am, this blindness keeps me dissatisfied and always wanting something else.

Introspection can be a selfish occupation too, but if the Bible is doing the inspection, it is mentally and psychologically healthy. The Lord had a way of exposing sin and building righteousness at the same time. As I’ve said many times, He is the only one who can kick my butt and hug me all in one action! He did it this week and He keeps doing it as His Word gives what Tozer calls, “a forceful exhortation to holiness of life.”

^^^^^^^^^

Jesus, You repeatedly show me that Your focus for my life is not happiness but holiness. You are more concerned with the state of my heart than the state of my feelings. Yet as You work on my heart, You give me the joy of being released from sin, darkness, selfishness and all sorts of fears and negative thinking. I am so thankful and so glad that You are my Lord and Savior, and that You use that wonderful, leather-bound book to set me free from both rebellion and ignorance.