Peter and Judas

If all are sinners and none deserve the mercy of God, what is the difference between the fate of Peter and the fate of Judas? Both betrayed Jesus.

Peter’s betrayal was to protect his own skin. He was afraid of being put to death too, so when asked if he knew Jesus, he denied it, not once but three times. After doing this, he felt great guilt and remorse.

And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly. (Matthew 26:75)

Judas’ betrayal was about money. He’d shown himself to be a greedy man, so when the idea occurred to him, he approached the chief priests and asked what was it worth if he delivered Jesus to them. They paid him thirty pieces of silver.

Exodus 21:32 says if an ox gored a neighbor’s slave to death, the owner of the ox was obligated to pay the owner of the slave the price of thirty pieces of silver. Historically, this became a symbol of contempt. That is, it was a great putdown to pay someone thirty pieces of silver. A modern example might be in tipping a waiter in a restaurant a penny for poor service. It shows more contempt than no tip at all.

Judas took the money. By doing so, he was shown contempt too. After the deed was done and Jesus was delivered to Pilate, Judas tried to return the money to the chief priests. He confessed to them his sin in betraying an innocent man, but they told him they didn’t care.

And throwing down the pieces of silver into the temple, he departed, and he went and hanged himself. (Matthew 27:5)

Both men had been with Jesus, listened to Him preach, saw Him heal the sick and raise the dead. Even in their betrayals, they both displayed remorse over what they had done. Yet the same night was fatal for Judas and a turning point for Peter. What made the difference?

God pardons sin. Their guilt was great, but mercy is greater. Today’s devotional says that the forgiveness of God “does not nicely calculate less or more.” Yet there is a difference in the recipient. When I look at my own life and my own sin, I see nothing to suggest that God should pardon me. Vanity and pride might whisper that I deserve it, but I know better.

Like these men, it is good to grieve over my sin, but if I spend too much time looking at myself and my failures, I wind up in despondency, overwhelmed with sorrow and crushed by inadequacy. Being a Christian isn’t about me or my performance. It is about faith in Jesus Christ and hope in His incredible promise for my future, a hope that turns its eyes from the past and fixes them on the Cross.

As long as I look at myself, as Judas did, the more appealing self-destruction becomes. Satan, the liar and destroyer, would have me diverted from faith and hope, forgetting that there is no sin too great for God to pardon. He would have me go the route of Judas and hang myself, rather than go the route of Peter who wept bitterly then found his way back to Jesus.

Faith in God and hope for the future produce life-giving repentance. As long as I keep looking at myself and what I have done, pardon seems beyond reach. Instead, sin must be a stepping-stone, not a stumbling block that strangles my devotion and drains my zeal for God.

Looking at myself shows me how feeble, wavering, and ignorant I am. I see my failure and sin. I need to look at Jesus. The Bible says so, even commands it. My strength, forgiveness, comfort and renewal are in Christ, not in me, ever.

Peter knew this; Judas missed it. Also, Judas saw God as an avenging judge, but Peter knew the Lord as a loving Father and a forgiving Savior. For them, there was little difference in their sin and emotional reaction. What changed the outcome was their understanding of God and of why Jesus died. 

By grace alone…

This week’s topic concerns a crushed spirit. When it happens, I want a cure that releases me, or at least hope that it will get better, yet in some cases, prevention might be the answer. That is, if the crushing happens because I have sinned, then far better to avoid it than to deal with it after the fact. In this, prevention is better than a cure.

A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. (Proverbs 18:14–15)

While the verses in Proverbs are often unrelated to each other, verse 15 could be a clue for how to avoid that unbearable crushing that comes when I am convicted of sin and overwhelmed by my own foolish behavior. Rather than ignore it and become hardened to it, God wants me to seek His word and be wise.

Avoiding sin is obvious. Don’t touch the fire and you will not be burned. Avoid a crushed spirit by never offending my conscience. Work hard to be true to the light that God has given me and follow Him with all my heart. Is it that easy?

Spurgeon says that nothing comes so sharply in a time of sorrow, pain, and brokenness as that sense of sin committed. In doing what I know is wrong, I often cry, “Why did I do this? Why didn’t I do that?” Obviously life is going to hand me sorrow anyway and I cannot expect to never feel depressed. However, if guilt is added to those sorrows, I will be overwhelmed. It’s simple; obey God and not be further crushed. Just don’t sin in the first place.

To keep from sin, I must have and maintain a clear view of the gospel. In my current studies, I’ve learned that a muddied gospel leads to a muddied life. If God is defined other than what He has revealed Himself to be, or if Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are not understood in the way they have been revealed, or if the life, death and resurrection of Christ is diminished or mixed up in any way, then I cannot live a victorious life. I need to see who I am, but without a clear understanding of who God is and what He has done, sin will get the best of me and crush my spirit. History proves it, the history of Christianity and my own history.

While the gospel and questions about it can be complicated, it is also simple. I am a guilty sinner yet Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners. He died for the ungodly, for me. My standing before God is not nor will ever be in myself or in my own attainments, but rests entirely in the finished work of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Because that is true, I can avoid a crushed spirit by living near to God. As Spurgeon illustrates, the sheep that gets bitten by the wolf is the one who wanders away from the shepherd. I might be nipped by the words of a preacher (Spurgeon calls himself the Good Shepherd’s dog), but if I stay near Jesus, that nip will be only a warning, for the wolf cannot touch me. If I pull away from holy living and close communion with my Lord and Savior, I will sin and eventually experience a crushed spirit.

Because God promises to use ALL things for my good (Romans 8:28-29), I must add this. Whenever I feel the crushing weight of my own foolish disobedience, eventually I also feel a greater desire to obey and stay close to God, remembering that Jesus died for me and now lives for me. That crushing also humbles my heart and reminds me that I’m no hot shot; I cannot save myself. This rich and abundant life is not mine because I’ve earned or deserved it.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:6–11)

A crushed spirit…

Spurgeon describes a crushed spirit happens when someone is under a deep and terrible sense of sin. He says that no one can bear it when guilt comes clearly home and God is seen as just and perfectly holy. The crushing comes when a person realizes that He who is infinite love and almighty grace has been provoked and angered, and the One who is supposed to be our best friend has become our most terrible foe.

A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? (Proverbs 18:14)

Spurgeon hopes that his readers do not understand what this means, but knows that some do. This kind of crushing is unbearable and like hell on earth. No one can avoid feeling crushed when the sense of being close to God is gone and that abiding presence is replaced by the pain of deep conviction.

What brings this deep conviction? Spurgeon says it can happen because of fierce temptation. If Satan tempts me to doubt, sin, blasphemy, even to “curse God and die” as he tried with Job, my spirit can be crushed if I fall under that terrible power. I will sense that God’s face is hidden if my choice is to not walk away from such temptation but give into it. Then, in the absence of my God’s sustaining presence, I am crushed.

Spurgeon speaks of those who get wild and untrue ideas, happily sailing above others, looking down on anyone who does not think the same way. Then, when their balloon bursts, they come down from that height and realize their error. They condemn themselves and become distressed and miserable. Their spirit is crushed and the only cure is to return to a humble walk with God.

As I read this preacher’s thoughts, and examine how God deals with me, I agree that a crushed spirit may happen, and that it is unbearable. I am also glad that this can be avoided, and if not, there is restoration in Jesus. Those who are willing to stay near Him and consider themselves always poor, needy and helpless sinners will always find everything they need in Jesus Christ. He gives strength against temptation and sin. He also restores sinners should we fail to stand the tests.

I’ve been there and know that I cannot bear a crushed spirit. But He did it for me, then declared, “It is finished” and now lives in me to give me everything I need.