Funerals are important…

 

Then Joseph fell on his father’s face and wept over him and kissed him. And Joseph commanded his servants the physicians to embalm his father. So the physicians embalmed Israel. Forty days were required for it, for that is how many are required for embalming. And the Egyptians wept for him seventy days. And when the days of weeping for him were past, Joseph spoke to the household of Pharaoh, saying, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, please speak in the ears of Pharaoh, saying, ‘My father made me swear, saying, “I am about to die: in my tomb that I hewed out for myself in the land of Canaan, there shall you bury me.” Now therefore, let me please go up and bury my father. Then I will return.’ ” And Pharaoh answered, “Go up, and bury your father, as he made you swear.” So Joseph went up to bury his father. With him went up all the servants of Pharaoh, the elders of his household, and all the elders of the land of Egypt, as well as all the household of Joseph, his brothers, and his father’s household. Only their children, their flocks, and their herds were left in the land of Goshen. And there went up with him both chariots and horsemen. It was a very great company. When they came to the threshing floor of Atad, which is beyond the Jordan, they lamented there with a very great and grievous lamentation, and he made a mourning for his father seven days. When the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites, saw the mourning on the threshing floor of Atad, they said, “This is a grievous mourning by the Egyptians.” Therefore the place was named Abel-mizraim; it is beyond the Jordan. Thus his sons did for him as he had commanded them, for his sons carried him to the land of Canaan and buried him in the cave of the field at Machpelah, to the east of Mamre, which Abraham bought with the field from Ephron the Hittite to possess as a burying place. After he had buried his father, Joseph returned to Egypt with his brothers and all who had gone up with him to bury his father. (Genesis 50:1–14)

This passage is about grief and the extent of a family to mourn the loss of their father. In my life right now, it touches me two ways. One is that two of our friends died this month. One funeral happened and it was an incredible blessing to review the life of a man who loved and served God. The second one will be later, but it will happen. This man’s life also honored the Lord, and the event will also.

However, many deaths have the notation “No funeral” in the obituary. This is sad. It is usually the desire of the person who died, perhaps thinking it saves the family costs, or pain, or whatever, yet even the least loved family member will be missed and a funeral gives the living an opportunity to say goodbye, and to think about their own lives and deaths. Just a quick “he’s gone, move on” avoids the importance of pondering life.

The second way I’m touched is because I’ve been thinking about my own demise. Being ill does that. Yesterday was sleep, eat, sleep, as has been most of today. The odd thing is that my vitals are normal: pulse, blood pressure, blood oxygen, etc. but this cough will not go away and I am exhausted, with little appetite and no ambition. 

Not certain of the days ahead, the consequences could involve a funeral. Is it vain to suppose my family would mourn? I hope not. What I do want is Jesus to be glorified. The faith of the OT saints and those who currently loved and served Jesus means they are now with their Maker and enjoying eternal life. A funeral, done well, should let the living know that Jesus died for their sins, was buried, and rose again — to give us eternal life. The burying place does not matter, nor does the way I’ve lived or served God. What matters is that Jesus lives and that because He is alive, I will also live with Him forever.

Jesus, while illness makes me think of the end of life, You put that on my heart more than fifty years ago and granted faith to trust You — for all of this life and for what comes next. I want others to know of Your love and faithfulness, not just drop out of sight without being a witness to Your gift of eternal life.

So many in need of comfort. . . .

  

Before going to bed last night, I watched the news and still feel heavy at what has happened. The extreme flash flooding in Texas has taken more than 100 lives. Twenty-seven of those were young girls at a Christian camp. One of the search and rescue people reported finding a child’s Bible and seeing its underlined verses and notes. He told how this broke his heart and he sobbed for a long time. 

Two girls and their grandparents died. A mom and dad are grieving the loss of two generations. I don’t know any of these people, but am feeling a slice of their horrible pain. Today brings sorrow and tears and prayers. How can the survivors and families of this tragedy be comforted?

This is only one news event, so I looked for statistics and found that approximately 150,000 people die each day worldwide. This translates to roughly 1.78 deaths per second, 107 deaths per minute, and 6,390 deaths per hour. Age-related causes account for about two-thirds of these deaths, with heart disease and cancer at the top of the list. Accidents come next and the statistics go on without saying anything about flash floods, not that this omission is a comfort.

The Bible gives me what I already know, not from loss like what is happening due to storms like TX and the one that hit NC, but from personal pain from other situations. God says:

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

These verses are my prayers for those who survive and grieve. Yet God also speaks about those who experience the horror and do not survive. May these thoughts comfort broken hearts as survivors think of what their loved ones experienced at the end of their lives. 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. (Isaiah 43:2)

A few years ago my husband was deathly ill. He survived, yet tells of thinking, “Lord, here I come” — not in fear but in peace. This speaks to me too. The day will come when each person walks through that valley and the Spirit of God says His presence holds our hands. That is our comfort and will be the comfort of those who remain and in whom the Spirit dwells.

What about those not in relationship with Christ through faith? God is not mean. He says He is near to the brokenhearted. He blesses those who mourn. We have no affirmation about the eternal destiny of each of those who die, but we do know that those who cry out to Him in the last moments of their lives could hear Him say, “Today, you will be with me in paradise.” Such is the grace of God.

PRAY: Jesus, even as a faraway bystander, I feel grief. The pictures on the news bring viewers closer to the people who are gone and those who sob on the sidelines. Some of my friends will not watch the news, yet I don’t want to protect my heart with ignorance of the suffering outside of my little world. Help me pray and hold those whose hearts are broken before Your throne of mercy and grace. May You be near to them and bind up wounds that are beyond all other comforts. You alone know what to do. 

The psalms tell our story too . . .

 

READ Psalm 21–25

This reading begins with a psalm that honors the king who honors God. Queen Elizabeth II came to mind. As I read Psalm 21, her title of “Queen” could have fit. She began her reign with Scripture and worship. In 2002, she said, “For me the teachings of Christ and my own personal accountability before God provide a framework in which I try to lead my life. I, like so many of you, have drawn great comfort in difficult times from Christ’s words and example.”

This psalm was written by King David. As I read quotes from the queen who died this week, she also could have said the same things:

O Lord, in your strength the king rejoices, and in your salvation how greatly he exults! You have given him his heart’s desire and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah For you meet him with rich blessings; you set a crown of fine gold upon his head. He asked life of you; you gave it to him, length of days forever and ever. His glory is great through your salvation; splendor and majesty you bestow on him. For you make him most blessed forever; you make him glad with the joy of your presence. For the king trusts in the Lord, and through the steadfast love of the Most High he shall not be moved. (Psalm 21:1–7)

May God comfort all who mourn her passing. The world has lost one of few leaders who trust Jesus Christ and I’ve a sense of emptiness in that regard. We may not see another one like her.

Psalm 22, also by David, relates those feelings of being abandoned. It is said to be a Messianic psalm that describes Christ on the cross. It also describes the Christian experience during times when God seems far away and is not hearing our prayers, times when we must surely walk by faith.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame. (Psalm 22:1–5)

Hope is there, even in despair, as this man who loved the Lord reviewed what God had done for him and praised Him, even though He seemed deaf to his words. Again, the psalms speak to our human condition.

Psalm 23 never fails to touch our hearts. It is repeated at funerals, even for those who do not know the Shepherd as David did, perhaps because everyone wants the comfort of it, the certainty that the Lord is with us in life and in death and that we will spend forever with Him. That assurance is only a breath away, a ‘yes’ to His invitation.

Psalm 24 focuses on the glory of the Lord. He is Creator and holy. He blesses those who seek Him and saves those who plead for righteousness. He is the King of glory and worthy of our worship!

Psalm 25 tells how the Lord is also teacher, leader and guide. He forgives our sin and is merciful to us, yet He also good and upright and, “therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.” (Psalm 25:8–10) For as much as His love is great and unconditional, and that He accepts us as we are, He loves us too much to leave us in our struggles with sin and our bondage to it. For that reason, He “instructs us in the way He chooses” and gives “secret counsel to those who fear Him” — a mark of the great relationship of friendship that we have with Him. For this, and with this psalm as a guide, I can pray:

Turn to us and be gracious to us, for Your people are often lonely and afflicted. The troubles of our heart are enlarged; bring us out of our distresses. Consider our afflictions and troubles, and thank You so much that You forgive all our sins. Consider those who oppose us, some with violent hatred of all that we believe about You. Oh, guard our souls, and deliver us! Let none of Your people be put to shame, for we take refuge in You. May integrity and uprightness preserve us as we wait for you. Redeem us, everyone who belongs to You, O God, out of all our troubles. We glorify Your name and worship You. Amen.

 

Comfort in Loss

 

READ Psalm 66–70

Yesterday ended with sadness. I have a relative in California who turned 104 in January. We visited him in mid-December. He was an engineer who retired in his eighties and told us if he could see and hear better, he’d still be working. He was lonely as the place where he lived had no one with the same interests. We shared the gospel with him, unsure of his relationship with the Lord. He mailed us a thank you card the next day.

Yesterday, his daughter called to let us know that he had died Monday evening. I immediately felt a big hole in my heart, not shocked yet deeply saddened. He was the last of that generation in our family, a strong person who loved to share his ideas on how to fix major world problems. I’d been praying for three things: one, that God would provide someone with his interests to visit him, two that when he died, it would be easy not a painful struggle, and three, that he would hear and respond to the Lord and be ready for that last event.

Yesterday, his daughter told me that a pastor had been visiting him for a few months and even brought an engineer from his congregation so that my dear cousin could talk shop with someone. She also told me that the pastor came to visit him Monday morning and shared with him the Easter message. He quietly died Monday night. My husband said it seemed to him that the Lord gave him what he needed to believe, then gently took him home.

Of course we cannot know that for sure, but the Lord answered the other two main prayers. It seems the third has a strong possibility for being answered also. As I shared what I’d prayed with his daughter, she said things that showed me He was also answering my prayers for her.

This morning came with mixed emotions. However, each morning I start with singing praises and praying as the Lord puts thoughts into my head. The first song in my booklet of lyrics was “Be Still My Soul” — a lovely expression of trusting God when times are tough. These lines prepared me for the reading in Psalms:

    Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

    Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

    Leave to thy God to order and provide;

    In every change, He faithful will remain.

And . . .  

    Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,

    And all is darkened in the vale of tears,

    Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,

    Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

    Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay

    From His own fullness all He takes away.

After praising Him in prayer and music, He spoke back to me:

Come and see what God has done: he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man. (Psalm 66:5)

Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue. (Psalm 66:16–17)

Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me! (Psalm 66:20)

While the hole in my heart will remain for a time, I pray with the psalmist, “I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay!” (Psalm 70:5) and I know that He will lift the cloud and comfort us as we grieve the parting this dear man and as we trust him to the loving care of the Lord Jesus Christ.

    Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise

    On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;

    Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,

    So shall He view thee with a well-pleased eye.

    Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine

    Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

Thank You, Jesus.