Rebuking or Judging — What’s the difference?

 

In the NT when the disciples shared the Gospel message, they experienced varying reactions.  For instance, like Jesus, some were killed. Others experienced threats and ridicule. However…

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus. (Acts 4:13)

Telling others the good news of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ is the most important thing all people need to know, but those who hear it may not think so. It means they must admit their sin and yield to the Lord. Pride hates doing that.

Resisting this message often translates into resisting the messenger. In this year alone, several thousand believers have died because of their faith in Christ. 

Not only that, I’ve noticed in my own life that the perception of what I am doing is not always in line with my reasons for doing it. The Bible says two things that seem contradictory without careful study. For some, it is more like “pick what suits you” than knowing what fits where. The two activities are judging and rebuking.

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Matthew 7:1–2)
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load. (Galatians 6:1–5)

Sometimes I judge people caught in sin because I want to look better in comparison. That is sin. In my heart, I know it. I’m not caring about the spiritual needs of that person, only my own reputation.

On the other hand, if someone is constantly falling into the same temptation, my heart goes out and I want to help them. I have to make sure I’m not guilty of the same thing or of any personal gain or glory. This desire to pick up another who stumbles is motivated by the love of Christ. It is a sacrificial love that cares because I know the harm done by any sin, theirs or mine. This may call for a private conversation, a gentle rebuke, or something stronger, but it is for their good and God’s glory, not about me at all.

Another issue is knowing if the person who sins should know better, or does know better. This makes a difference in how to talk to them. This could be compared to a small child who has never touched a hot stove, or has but wants to try again. Speak gently or yell, that is the question, but the motive remains — I don’t want that child to be injured.

Another issue is the attitude of that person who sins. Are they aware and brag about it? Or are they oblivious to cause and effect? Some have trouble connecting dots and need help. Some have trouble with self-sufficiency and boasting, maybe to hide a feeling of not having any value or being loved. Holy Spirit discernment is needed.

But Holy Spirit messages to me are not always heard by other people. I remember a pastor who made a decision and did not give his reasons to his congregation. I met with him and asked why this decision. He pounded his desk and said, “Because God told me to.” Since many Christians are suspicious of that reason, or do not listen for God’s voice at all, he knew his reason would not be accepted. He barely understood the why of it himself!

PRAY: Regarding judgment, we are called to love one another. I can rebuke to restore, which You do for me, but I cannot judge with a view to condemn. You died for sin and You alone are able to judge rightly. When I am annoyed or impatient with others, reveal it quickly that I might repent and instead love them, pray for them, and if I do or say anything, may it be as You would do or say it. Let me hear You clearly and not be concerned about any opinions that run contrary to what You say to me. Instead, give me confidence in Your instructions, and if none come, grant me the ability to keep quiet and wait on You, rather than take matters into my own hands.

What about a worldly mind-set?

 

What is a Christian supposed to do when another Christian is walking in the flesh? The NT instructions could prompt a lot of discussion. Several come to mind that say this is to be done in Christ-like gentleness. Most of those refer to telling truth to unbelievers.

However, God is not so gentle when it comes to dealing with Christians who sin and should know better. For example:

Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. Yet my prayer is continually against their evil deeds. (Psalm 141:5)
Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:5-6)
Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue. (Proverbs 28:23)
Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, (Luke 17:3)
As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear. (1 Timothy 5:20)
This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, (Titus 1:13)
Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you. (Titus 2:15)

Most Christians have an aversion to a preacher who shakes their finger at them. As I read the OT prophets, it seems that a lot of that is happening, but at the same time, writers like Isaiah and Jeremiah also speak about the goodness and power of God. He gave His people reasons why they should obey God and rebuked them for their unbelief and disobedience. Yet who enjoys rebuke!

Sometimes in a group that gather for study and prayer, some of those present try to “fix” the problems presented in prayer requests rather than asking God’s will to be done. They may tell the person who made the request how to fix their problem, which could be helpful (or not), but often do it by telling God how to fix it. as if our ideas are solutions God never thought of, or worse, that He doesn’t know what He is doing. Many prayers are for the comfort rather than the will of God.

Think of what Jesus said to Peter when this man said Jesus should not die:

From that time Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” (Matthew 16:21–23)

The words do not convey whether Jesus spoke gently or with strong authority, but He did not thank Peter for being concerned. This disciple was thinking about comfort and that his friend should never suffer or die, but not the will of God. Did he not hear Jesus pray, “Not My will but Thine be done”?

When a Christian is behaving or even talking as if they don’t know God, I usually pray for them, but sometimes God wants me to say something. To be like Jesus could mean a gentle and private conversation, but as the above verses say, Jesus was not always that way with His rebukes. Sometimes He used sharp words. When He speaks to me, He is usually gentle too, but I know the feel of His sharpness. It usually comes when I’ve persisted in having my own way for some time and need a swift kick instead of a soft warning.

PRAY: Lord, I rebuked someone who persists in trying to “fix” the problems of others, even those who are trusting You to take care of them. This person wants everyone to be comfortable and seems oblivious to the reality that You use even tough trials for our good. Wanting to be comfortable all the time can mean pushing Your will out of the picture. Thank You for letting me know that a rebuke can be sharp and reminding me that if Peter had his way, You would not have gone to the cross. Then where would we be!

A Cure is better than a diagnosis . . .

 

If my doctor diagnosed something wrong in my body but did not do anything toward a cure, I’d find another doctor. If the preacher(s) in my church kept telling me about my sin but did not talk about God’s remedy for sin, I would find another place to worship.

The NT gives the task of convicting people of sin to the Holy Spirit. Such a diagnosis is not my job unless the Spirit expressly wants to use me to give a rebuke — and that invitation comes with a caveat:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:1–5)

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)

From these and other verses, I get the strong message to be careful about diagnosing sin in others; I am responsible to listen to what the Holy Spirit says to me, not taking on His role when I have enough to deal with by looking in the mirror. If I’m sinning and not aware, a rebuke is needed, but I also want to know and be reminded of the cure, rather than repeatedly hearing how ‘sick’ I am. This analogy relates to the love of God. Scripture says:

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:7)

The word “bears” means to put up with annoyance or difficulty, either in my own life or the life of someone else. It comes from a root word that means to roof over, indicating to cover with patient silence. This makes me think of God’s love for me. What if He pointed to all my sin all at once and all the time? I would be in such angst that I would try to run away from Him. However, He does not do that. He gently deals with one sin at a time, one attitude or activity that needs His grace to overcome. Love is not shaking my finger at every sin I perceive or gossip about it, or point it out to the world. Love “bears” all things, waiting on God for instruction and if none comes, love still believes, hopes, and endures. This good news is what I most need to hear and I’m certain others are the same. We need the cure, not a nagging repetition of the diagnosis!

Love wants to cover sins and protect sinners from further harm. Our society makes a big business of gossip with a sinful and insatiable appetite for exposés and “true confessions.” God may call me to confront and discipline sin but never expose or broadcast the failures or wrongs others do. I’m to feel their pain and the sorrow of God, not try to alleviate it by describing what they are doing for public condemnation.

Jesus died for my sin and for all sin. I cannot do that redemptive work (It is finished), but I can love them:

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. (Proverbs 10:12)

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

The bottom line is that love never thinks the worst when it sees sin in others, nor does it gloat over those failures. Instead, love believes and hopes God will patiently work in the lives of others, lovingly expecting that to happen. Love will not jump at further exposure, ridicule, or harm. When God prods, love may confront that sin but only to bear their burden in gentleness and restore them to a right relationship with our Savior.

PRAY: Lord, I’ve been thinking much about what specific assignments You give and loving others is always near the top of the list. This task must come from my heart, not be treated as a chore or a duty. Enable me to deeply care about the needs of others, whether those needs are physical, social, or having a roof put in place over their sins. I thank You that all sin is covered by Your blood and that You patiently deal with my sin in ways that clearly show me how to deal with the sins of others. You don’t put them out there for everyone to see, and You never treat me with anything but patience, mercy, grace, and gentle kindness.

PONDER: Isaiah 53:3–12 describes further how Jesus bore all things to put His protecting “roof” over all who trust in Him. Read this a few times today and consider what I can do to be more like Him.