The danger of talking when I should be silent

My dad used to say that we were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. This was usually at times when me and my siblings were talking without thinking and needed to listen with our brains in gear rather than our mouths.

Silence is good advice for those who are in a place of learning. A few weeks ago we sadly experienced two visitors in our church who talked throughout the entire service. They did not sing with the rest of us nor did they stop talking when anyone was speaking. I wondered why they came.

A Facebook video also made me wonder. Several graduating students were asked questions that they could not answer. One of them was, “If a man had 15 sheep and they all died but 8, how many sheep did he have left?” The student was stumped. Even though the question was repeated several times, he didn’t have a clue and could not answer. This interview revealed how some folks do not know how to listen or learn from what they hear.

That said, I come to a very controversial passage in Paul’s instructions to a young pastor. He is talking about a church setting and how to keep order in that setting. Just as now, some people may have had problems with listening. Not only that, in those days, the men and women sat in different sections of the temple. I don’t know if that continued in the early church, but if it did and a woman wanted to know what was going on, she had to call out her question. Whatever the reasons, Paul wrote:

Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control. (1 Timothy 2:11–15)

A young man once told me that he didn’t like women in the room when he was watching football. He said, “They don’t know the game and ask too many questions. We just want to watch it.”

I took that to heart because I didn’t want to be excluded. I also discovered that if I paid attention, I can learn ‘what happened’ in the game without saying a word. Maybe this attitude is what Paul had in mind. That is how many interpret his words. It is a cultural problem with a principle implied — not a total restriction but an attitude that women should have — don’t be a noisy, authoritative person. Pay attention with my ears rather than assume that I know everything. Eve did that and remember where her attitude led.

As for the last line about salvation through childbearing; I have no clue what that means only that it uses a singular ‘she’ and a plural ‘they.’ This may indicate the person saved through childbearing (she) refers to the promise made to Eve that salvation would come through her seed, Jesus. If all women after her (they) believe in that promised ‘child’ they will show their faith with love, holiness and a key word: self-control.

Self-control, as used in the New Testament, is not self-effort as we often use this term. It is listed as a fruit of the Spirit and unless I am filled with God’s Holy Spirit, I will not be able to control the old nature and the sins of the flesh. In this context, I will not be able to shut up and listen. My old self wants to talk, to tell others (including men) what to do, and to lord it over them with my so-called knowledge. If this analysis is correct, then it makes sense that God tells me to stop doing that and use my ears instead of my mouth.

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Lord Jesus, this is helpful. It explains why You bless me when I speak something Your Spirit gives me to say, no matter who the audience includes, and at other times You warn me to be quiet. It isn’t about total silence but about speaking in a sinful, selfish way like an unsaved person might. Faith, love and holiness is not that. It is waiting for Your Spirit’s guidance and if You do not give me words, I’m to remain quiet — lest I am deceived and sin — or worse, lead someone else to sin because I’ve not followed the lessons given in the story of Eden.

Today’s thankful list . . .

Sunshine all day — finally.

A sew day with a few ladies from our local quilt guild.

Sharing skills and laughter.

Carrot muffins.

Chicken already roasted and ready to eat so I don’t have to cook when tired.

The skills of talented people.

Focus on Jesus and others, not the mirror

My interest in prayer and how to pray keeps growing. The Bible has lots to say on the topic. This passage is familiar and one that I often quote because I often hear people talking about politics. It encourages us that rather than talk (or complain) we need to pray for our political leaders.

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. (1 Timothy 2:1–4)

These verses are strong. Four types of prayers are listed, covering everything from thanksgiving to earnest pleas, with thanksgiving often the most challenging! They also give good reason for praying. God is pleased when I pray because it indicates I am trusting Him to rule the affairs of life, not the politicians. These words also link prayer with living a peaceful, quiet life and with people knowing the truth and being saved. No amount of talk (or complaining) about the government or political leaders will do that but prayer can!

However, I notice something else about prayer just a few verses later . . .

I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. (1 Timothy 2:8–10)

Because this leads into a controversial section on the role of women, this part could easily be ignored. Since I’m reading devotionally, I have not checked commentaries, etc. but am listening. The Holy Spirit seems to be linking a couple of thoughts.

First, the men are to pray with godly hands lifted — indicating a reliance on God, but without any anger or disputes in their lives. They are to be at peace with one another when they go to prayer.

Likewise, the women are also to pray like that, with one further addition. Oddly, it is about how we dress and do our hair. What does that have to do with prayer? Well, it can interfere with it, even with getting answers.

I don’t know about other women, but it seems to me there is a tendency in my own heart to compare my “Sunday best” with the appearance of others. I notice what they are wearing and if they look good. In our congregation, several women of a certain culture dress in vivid colors and patterns and have ornately braided hair. They are amazing in appearance. It would be easy to fall into a comparison attitude if my value system put my clothes and hair style high on the list.

These verses link prayer with being respectable, modesty and self-control contrasting it with a desire to have fancy hairdos, jewelry, and expensive clothing. Interesting. It suggests that when a woman prays, she must have the attitude that being dressed to the nines is not important. Appropriate is okay but not to draw attention to myself. I’m to be thinking of what I am doing and the needs of others, not what I look like in the mirror.

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Lord Jesus, I think I am okay with this but keeping a balance is not that easy. I want to look nice, but don’t want others pay attention to me because of how I look. I don’t want to go too far the other way and be noticed because I’m unkept or a messy distraction. You want me to be godly and my appearance to be adorned with goodness, good behavior and good activities that honor You. Help me remember these thoughts whenever temptations lure me to compare myself with those women who could be on the pages of a fashion magazine. This is not what being a Christian is all about, and from what these verses say, it would interfere with my prayers.

Today’s thankful list . . .

Energy to work hard today on a challenging to-do list.

Holiday break for my hubby.

Email that makes possible communication with distant relatives and friends.

An old but amazing sewing machine.

The last piece of peach pie.

Christianity is not about keeping rules

This New Testament survey book I’m reading now goes to the letters Paul wrote to pastors. I’m not a pastor yet there are helpful thoughts in these epistles for everyone. Beginning with 1 Timothy, Paul warns against false teachers. He says Christians are “not to teach different doctrine, nor devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship (or orderly way of life) from God that is by faith.” He goes on:

The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions. Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted. (1 Timothy 1:3–11)

We tend to associate false teachers with cults and other obvious isms, but I have been in churches where the focus was on law and rules. God’s Law was not used lawfully as Paul says here, but to convict Christians that they were not good enough and must try harder. This is not the gospel of grace but a false teaching that salvation must be earned.

The law of God was given to show all of us that we need Jesus Christ. It still does that for Christians, but not to motivate self-effort. When I realize I’ve failed to be all that the Law requires, I must repent and ask God to grant me forgiveness and cleansing. This is the Gospel.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Once that happens, I can then be filled with the Holy Spirit and live in the freedom that Christ gives, not given to sin or self-effort but glorifying God that He saves sinners — me and people like me. It is as Paul writes next in this letter to Timothy. He described some of his former life then said he received mercy . . .

“ . . . and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.” (1 Timothy 1:14–17)

He tells Timothy to “wage the good warfare, holding faith and a good conscience” because others rejected that and made “shipwreck of their faith” which is something I never want to do.

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Jesus, this makes Christian living simple; trust God and keep my conscience clear. There is nothing here to suggest that I keep a bunch of rules or try harder. Trusting God includes believing that Your promise of salvation by faith is a gift to those who trust You. Keeping my conscience clear includes asking forgiveness when I sin as well as obeying Your leading. Today, simple is a great idea. This week has been complex and challenging. The enemy has worked overtime to mess me up. I’m thankful that You hold my hand and keep me walking with You, even after I stumble. May You be honored and glorified forever and ever.

Today’s thankful list . . .

Blessing of a message on the power of God to help His people finish well.

Great fellowship with new friends.

Able to share answered prayer with a dear woman who needed to hear some good news.

A super visit and a mean with my brother and his wife.

Driving home through miles of lush countryside and ripening crops.

Cheesecake with chocolate sauce — yum!