Sleepless?

Stories of those who pray in the middle of sleepless nights inspire me, but also convict me. I’m inspired because my heart desires spontaneous intercession, but I’m convicted because most nights I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow. Not only that, if I wake during the night, and cannot go back to sleep, praying invariably helps me to drop off quickly.

And (Jesus) came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:40–41)

My spirit is willing. The need for prayer is great. Many people ask for it. Those who do not believe in God express thanks for it. Statistics say that a great majority of people, even those who claim to be agnostic or atheistic, pray daily.

But the flesh is weak. The Greek word for ‘weak’ usually pertains to a state of limited capacity. In the above verses, the disciples had the capacity to pray, so that was not the problem. In other passages being weak suggest illness or being physically incapacitated, with ‘flesh’ referring to their physical bodies. This was not their problem either.

In the Bible, ‘flesh’ often means our sinfulness. A few passages use ‘weak’ to describe moral weakness or unbelief. This would mean that the disciples were weak because their desire to sleep was more important to them than the distress of Jesus or the need of the moment. They were selfish.

Perhaps this sleepiness came from a combination of stress and confusion as they heard Jesus talk about His coming betrayal and death. In any case, their fatigue was stronger than their desire to follow Jesus in prayer and they gave in to the temptation instead of praying against it.

This hits me. When I am sleepy but unable to sleep, I often pray that God will help me sleep. Here, Jesus is telling the disciples to watch and pray so they would not be tempted, and so they would pray along with Jesus as He prayed.

And how did He pray? With a willing heart, not wanting what was about to happen, but yielded entirely to the will of God.

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39)

Translated into the simplest situation of wanting sleep that will not come, that means being willing to stay awake and pray if that is what Jesus wants from me. If sleep is more important, He will let me sleep.

I am His and He is mine

By creation, we belong to God, just as the artist owns the unsold painting, or the musician the music written. By redemption, that ownership deepens, but before the Redeemer came, sin took away the art, the music and threw them into a great death. Our loving Creator then sent His Son to the rescue. The Savior leaped into the abyss and died instead that we might be given back to the One who created us from dust.

Jesus came to reveal to the world the Creator we had abandoned. Then the Creator presented all of us to Him so we, with shame and great joy might belong to Him as His rescued ones. In His prayer to the Father, He says . . .

“I have manifested your name to the people whom you gave me out of the world. Yours they were, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. (John 17:6)

Those who have abandoned all else to follow Jesus understand that we are not our own. We have been bought with a great price. Because He loves us, we love Him and gladly give ourselves to Him.

Chambers says that when I can say, ‘I am not my own’ I have reached a “great point in spiritual nobility.” This is “the deliberate giving up of myself” to Jesus Christ. Yet I see His part in this more than my part. Like many who come into this faith kicking and screaming, I sometimes resist His ownership, even fall into the error of serving myself instead of Him. I’m humbled that only by the goodness and gentle but powerful persuasion of the Holy Spirit have I “kept His word.”

The Holy Spirit cultivates the nature of Jesus to me in order to make me one with Him, not to make me a special saint or as Chambers says, “a showroom exhibit.” God’s goal is that my life is defined by the reality that I belong to Jesus.

Chambers says something else that strikes my heart. This belonging is not characterized by what I do but by “being a perfect delight to Him.”

I know what it is to be a delight to another person; to have someone else glad to see me, look me in the eye with joy, delight to call me a friend, takes interest in me, and is pleased with me but not because of any of my accomplishments but because of who they are — a person who shines with the love of God.

What a wonder that Jesus Himself builds that relationship with me — that I am a delight to Him, not because of what I do or do not do, but because He is my friend who loves me.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

These truths I have known, but today they seem deeper, more vivid, more precious than ever. Jesus is my friend. I also belong to Him.

Lost blessings

And David said longingly, “Oh, that someone would give me water to drink from the well of Bethlehem that is by the gate!” Then the three mighty men broke through the camp of the Philistines and drew water out of the well of Bethlehem that was by the gate and carried and brought it to David. But he would not drink of it. He poured it out to the Lord and said, “Far be it from me, O Lord, that I should do this. Shall I drink the blood of the men who went at the risk of their lives?” Therefore he would not drink it . . . . (2 Samuel 23:15–17)

David was battling the army of the Philistines, garrisoned in Bethlehem which was David’s hometown. He was no doubt heartsick that these pagan enemies were in this place. As he waited in a cave, he longed for the ‘good old days’ and expressed his longing by wanting to drink at the well by the gate of his beloved city. When his men heard him, they jumped to satisfy him, but he would not drink it because they risked their lives for it.

I’ve wondered about this passage. Rereading it a few times, it seems to me that probably David would rather they shared in his longing, his desire to take back Bethlehem from these Philistines. If they felt as he felt, they would see that the water was only a symbol. The real desire of their leader’s heart was far more than a drink.

Chambers opens with an application that indicates my interpretation of this passage is similar to what he believed. He writes, “What has been like water from the well of Bethlehem to you recently — love, friendship, spiritual blessing? Then at the peril of your soul, you take it to satisfy yourself. If you do, you cannot pour it out before the Lord. You can never sanctify to God that with which you long to satisfy yourself. If you satisfy yourself with a blessing from God, it will corrupt you; you must sacrifice it, pour it out, do with it what common sense says is an absurd waste.”

I know what this means in my life. God has given me blessings for which my response should have been ‘This is too great and worthy for me, it is not meant for a human being at all, I must pour it out unto the Lord.‘  Had I done it as God intended and as Chambers writes, that blessing would have poured out from me as “rivers of living water” to others.

However, I did not do it with some of His blessings. They became a personal desire for me, blessings to satisfy all the I-wants of my sinful self. Instead of refreshing others by giving it back to Jesus, those desires sidetracked me. I lost sight of what God wanted and could only see what I wanted.

I’ve read Chambers several times over the years, but his thoughts for this day went over my head. Whether he sounded weird or made me shake my head, I do not remember. I did not understand their warning. However, now I understand the connections he makes from this story in 2 Samuel and fully understand how to apply it. However, my understanding came through sad and painful experiences.

In the bigger picture, this is why God asks for obedience. His people must not clutch His blessings to ourselves or make idols or necessities out of them. As Chambers says, His blessings will become a corruption when that happens and He most certainly must take them away.

Live like a garden hose

On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’ ” (John 7:37–38)

The Lord God intends that His people be like garden hoses. He supplies the living water and we are the conduit by which that water flows through, unimpeded and ready to nourish others.

This image would not work if the water was impure, yet that is not a problem because that living water comes from our holy God. He is the source of all things good.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:17)

However, the image is ruined if the hose was plugged up with sin. Like sand in a garden hose, my overflow is not only hindered, but the water is sullied.

God’s plans for me to bless others can be spoiled or delayed by sin, but He knows what to do. He simply sends a blast of truth through the hose. The force of it clears the flow and restores whatever is needed so I can have a heart that is the vessel He intends.

Chambers has a few rich things to say regarding this principle. He noted that the living water is not particularly for my deliverance or “self realization.” Believing in Jesus is not about what I gain but what He pours through me. I could add up the gains and that would put the focus on me and my accomplishments. Instead, God has so arranged things that I cannot measure the living water or even be aware whether it is flowing or not. That water is not for me, but for others.

Mary of Bethany broke a box of precious ointment and poured it on Jesus’ head. She did not count the cost or the results, just poured out all she had for Him. I am also to abandon myself to Jesus with a heart that is willing to “spill out” for Him, just as He spilled out His life for me.

Chambers says that those who believe in Jesus and become sources of living water shall continually refresh the lives of hundreds of others. I can see that happening through many Christians. I cannot see it in myself. It is a good thing. The Lord knows what I would do with such knowledge — I would swell up with pride and quench the flow, and that sin of pride would immediately produce sand in the garden hose. 

From ignorance to holiness

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:14–16)

The phrase “passions of your former ignorance” catches my attention. The Greek word translated ‘passions’ means ‘strong, self-indulgent cravings that displace a proper affection for God.’ For most people, this could be a list ranging from over-eating to far worse desires and activities. The word for ‘ignorance’ is simply lack of knowledge or education.

This morning’s newspaper had an article about a young man who died at a party from ingesting an overdose of prescription drugs. I shook my head and said, “How can anyone be so foolish?” Yet this is the ignorance that leads to self-indulgent cravings. In his case, it was a desire for an emotional and physical ‘high’ and his craving was strong enough to override any warning bells that may have gone off in his head.

I cannot claim to be any better. Even as a Christian, I’ve gone against those warning bells a few times. I wanted something, and in itself it was not always an evil something, but God was saying ‘no’ and I was not listening.

The goal of God for His people is to transform us into the image of His Son. That means holiness. The lie is that God wants us healthy, wealthy, and comfortable. If we believe that lie, then as Chambers says in his devotional for today, we will resent the preaching of the gospel. It reveals that no person is holy, and at the same time may stir up a craving for it.

Since that end goal is available through faith in Jesus Christ, why resent the gospel? The only answer is that immature attitude of a spoiled child: ‘I want what I want when I want it.’ Sinners do not want holiness because they do not want their indulgences checked.

As I look back on my ‘former ignorance’ I can see that not all of my passions were evil. I had (and still do) a passion for artistic endeavor, but there came a point where God could see that passion was interfering with my affection for Him. He checked my indulgence and for a long time put my attention only on Him. When that relationship was more deeply established, He allowed me to pick up a paint brush again. When I did, I discovered that I could ‘take it or leave it’ for the craving was replaced with a desire to obey God. Now I can be artistic at His bidding and for His purposes, not simply to satisfy myself. The wonder is that His way is far more satisfying than that never-satisfied passion to serve myself.

Holiness is about purity, but it also means ‘other than human’ which describes God, and ‘set apart for God’ which describes His people. Purity covers the evil indulgences, and being set apart for God covers anything that is not evil but can become a selfish indulgence, such as art, sports, hobbies, etc.

Chambers says holiness means “unsullied walking with the feet, unsullied talking with the tongue, unsullied thinking with the mind—every detail of the life under the scrutiny of God.” It is the way that I can demonstrate that I belong to the Lord Jesus Christ.