Having nothing…

For the past few weeks I’ve felt that I want something, but I don’t know what it is. Less work? A change of pace? A new location? Someone to step up and take some of my responsibilities? Maybe just more contentment? This nagging feeling does not make contentment easy. It keeps at me without identifying itself. Is it part of getting older? An evidence that I want to be in heaven where all is perfect? Yet I’m aware of a deeper desire for big challenges. I don’t like ‘normal’ but thrive on change.

Being alone is okay even though I’m much more interested in meaningful conversations than ever before. My hubby says to be content, but for a person who likes challenges, a sane pace and a relatively normal life can seem terribly boring at times. I woke up at 4 am thinking of how to create an online photo album for our family, as if there is nothing else to do.

Today’s reading begins with this truth:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; (2 Corinthians 5:17–18)

Thinking about the changes Christ gives, I’ve learned that God activates spiritual motivations when He gives new life to His people. My spiritual gifts include teaching, which is described as being an information-gatherer who wants to share what they find. My old nature had that motivation but used it for self, such as becoming a collector of useless information, even useless stuff, however, this gift includes an insatiable curiosity that goes non-stop. Part of that is wanting to know things about people but even that comes with a problem; many people wear layers and do not want to reveal their real selves. I easily detect that and become quickly bored with layers.

The reading says that everything that belongs to my old nature has passed away or become useless in Christian living. So that means I’m to love others even if they are ‘layered’ and be kind, not bored with them. For me, this is difficult and can be arrogant and not easy to deal with.

Two verses give me some fresh ideas:

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ….If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations which have no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh. (Colossians 2:8; 20-23)

The world’s way is to feed on what pleases me. God tells me to listen to Christ, to let Him be my example and my strength. He said, “Not my will, but thine be done.” If my will is what I’m describing in this desire for new things, then I need to make sure that those things fit with the will of God, not something to merely satisfy my desires, vague as they seem right now. Anything that is sought out by “flesh,” must always be “nothing” in the sight of God. But if I am seeing things with His eyes, those “I wants” will be nothing in my own sight. He also says:

We put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything. (2 Corinthians 6:3–10)

The last sentence speaks to this vague desire. I can rejoice in making others rich “as having nothing, yet possessing everything.” Only in Christ, not in the old me or the old way of satisfying myself. I need Jesus and the satisfaction He gives, then pass it on.

PRAY: This fretting has seemed complex, perhaps because I’ve taken my eyes off the simplicity that is in You, Jesus. Just fill me with Your Spirit. I cannot be ‘nothing’ unless You are ‘everything’ in my heart.

The greatest satisfaction

A friend asked for prayer. She is being mistreated at work and yet other jobs do not seem open to her. At the same time, she wants a better job and to be happy at her work. This happened once before. She abandoned her job for something she liked better, but again is not satisfied.

I’ve been praying about this even though I told her that the Lord usually does not tell me His will for others. This is for her to seek. She says she is, but her desire for change and to get out of the situations at her current work are strong. I’ve not had the same experience but realize how strong “I-wants” can render me somewhat deaf to the Lord’s voice and instructions.

Thoughts came to mind. One was from these verses:

But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. (Luke 6:27–36)

Of course this is impossible without being filled with the Spirit and relying on Christ. But would these commands go over her head? Perhaps. Then today’s reading made one statement and my heart said a hearty ‘amen’ to this:

Nothing can really satisfy the hunger of the soul but Christ.

How true — and it hits the heart. When I’m dissatisfied or complaining about my lot in life, what is it that I really want? Is it change? We go look at the lovely lottery homes each year and sometimes I’m so taken with one that I want to win it. But is that what I really want? I finally figured out that what appeals to me is the lack of clutter, the simplicity of decor. I need to purge the place I am in rather than move to another house that has no clutter — I would just clutter it up and want another house. Besides, being content is a vital part of faith.

My friend wants to be happy in her work, joyful with her lot in life, yet I know as the writer of today’s devotional reading knows, that the deepest joy in life is not about a job, or anything else. It is about feasting on Jesus, receiving our joy and the ability to be content from Him, regardless of our situation. He says…

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9–10)

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. (Philippians 4:11)

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

PRAY: Jesus, You are the source of joy and contentment given to us from Your Holy Spirit as we rely on You and are filled with Your Spirit. If I turn to what I think I want or need, satisfaction and contentment elude me and all Your children. My prayer for my friend is that she seeks You rather than running to whatever appeals to her. Any delight will not last until she turns again to You as the only One who can satisfy her soul.

What about those bad dreams?

 

READ Psalm 120–134

Years ago I had a dream in which I was committing sin. I cannot remember the sin, but I do remember what God told me when I woke up. I asked Him why that dream and He said, “Would you rather I reveal your sinful attitudes to you in real life?”

He has done this several times over the years and again last night. This time I was trying to fulfill a legitimate need in a selfish way instead of relying on the Lord to take care of it. After waking up, I again asked the Lord to help me think and act in the right way, then discovered today’s reading actually began with that first thing: confess the selfishness revealed in the dream . . .

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord! O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy! If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared. (Psalm 130:1–4)

Over the years, my self-centeredness has taken many forms. One of them is being ambitious, wanting more or doing more. Learning to be content with the will of God and His choices for me has been a constant theme. He reminds me of that again in these verses:

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. (131:1–2)

I picture a child that is not weaned. Sitting on mom’s knee, that child is constantly trying to nurse and making a nuisance of itself. In contrast, the weaned child is calm and not at all worried where his next meal will come from. Other images come to mind, but the sense of trusting reminds me that whenever I try to meet my needs without trusting God’s supply or His timing is far more than a nuisance; it is a sin.

The other reminder from this reading is about preparation for sleep. That dream could have been an attack from “the accuser of the brethren” who attempts to sidetrack me. I’ve had several amazing answers to prayer this week and shared them with many. The devil doesn’t like it. When I go to bed, I often ask for a good night’s sleep because “God gives to His beloved sleep” (127:2). These following verses suggest that I also ask for God’s protection and make sure that He is on the throne of my heart and I’m not thinking of running my own life. As the psalmist says . . .

“I will not enter my house or get into my bed, I will not give sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids, until I find a place for the Lord, a dwelling place for the Mighty One of Jacob.” (132:3–5)

He was thinking of a ‘place’ of worship yet the NT says my body is now His tabernacle, even when I’m sleeping!

Included with a desire for His presence is praise, speaking well of God and relying on Him to take care of me. The psalmist calls out, “Come, bless the Lord, all you servants of the Lord, who stand by night in the house of the Lord! Lift up your hands to the holy place and bless the Lord!” (134:1–2)

This morning, I am acknowledging the self-effort of my dream and the sinful lack of depending on God to meet my needs, whether that shows up in a dream or in real life. Other verses tell me what to do: “As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!” (40:17) and “He delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper.” (72:12) I know that my spiritual enemy does not like these requests nor any confidence in the Almighty, but God loves to hear me call upon His name and I know that He will answer — in His time and in His way! Amen.