Not sleeping?

Usually I fall asleep quickly and for the night, but last night didn’t. I prayed about the things nagging me, but didn’t “let go and let God” to well after midnight. While most of my friends envy my normal sleeping pattern, they complain of not being able to sleep or stay asleep most of the time. After not sleeping well, I’m not surprised that Piper’s devotions for today speak of our God who never sleeps!

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. (Psalm 121:2–3)
The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore. (Psalm 121:5–8)

Before reading about this, I sang praise songs. The one that came first in my collection starts out, “Oh to be like Thee…” and the rest of it describes many of those ways that often seem impossible. Being like Jesus is far different from all human thinking and action. I thought of how difficult it seems and how much I need the Holy Spirit to do anything or even think like Jesus. But I also need Him to sleep well.

After singing, Piper’s devotional reminded me that I am not responsible to transform my life. He says: “We are prone to think of ourselves as workers in God’s life. But the Bible wants us first to be amazed that God is a worker in our lives.” He quoted these promises:

From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him. (Isaiah 64:4)

He changes me by letting me see Him, by speaking to me and showing me Himself and it is by the vision of Him and His Word…

By which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. (2 Peter 1:4)

Awake or asleep, I cannot be like Jesus by my own efforts. As these verses say, He is my keeper. He promises the change and because He does, I can do what He asks…

Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God. (2 Corinthians 7:1)

 God’s commitment to complete the good work He has begun in me, even in the entire creation, can be painful at times, but it is for His glory and for more Christlikeness in me. Just being reminded of this settles my heart. I cannot do anything — a reality heightened by having that helpless feeling that comes from lack of sleep. But He never sleeps and even as I toss and turn, He is working out the perfections of His plan in the persistence of His heart.

I know that the promises God makes are primarily about changing me. I don’t change Him when I pray, even though prayer is part of that change, of making me more like Jesus. Yet it is by His promises, not by my prayers — awake or asleep. It is because He has granted me His nature, I am able to escape the corruption of sin, asleep or awake.

For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory. (2 Corinthians 1:20)

PRAY: Jesus, I am so amazed how the gospel makes a difference in how I think about what You say. Last night I remembered the promise You make in giving Your beloved sleep, but as my readings remind me, I don’t claim Your promises — they claim me. You are not awake to jump into actions at my requests; I am awake to trust Your will for my life. I cannot “name and claim” anything, only to have a greater passion for your glory, only to be more like Jesus instead of being more like my old self. I want to “stand on your promises” whether You give me sleep or sleeplessness. I want to be like You and trust You to keep working in my life. You are the Potter and I am clay in Your hands — always, for You never leave me to go take a nap.               

What about those bad dreams?

 

READ Psalm 120–134

Years ago I had a dream in which I was committing sin. I cannot remember the sin, but I do remember what God told me when I woke up. I asked Him why that dream and He said, “Would you rather I reveal your sinful attitudes to you in real life?”

He has done this several times over the years and again last night. This time I was trying to fulfill a legitimate need in a selfish way instead of relying on the Lord to take care of it. After waking up, I again asked the Lord to help me think and act in the right way, then discovered today’s reading actually began with that first thing: confess the selfishness revealed in the dream . . .

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord! O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy! If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared. (Psalm 130:1–4)

Over the years, my self-centeredness has taken many forms. One of them is being ambitious, wanting more or doing more. Learning to be content with the will of God and His choices for me has been a constant theme. He reminds me of that again in these verses:

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. (131:1–2)

I picture a child that is not weaned. Sitting on mom’s knee, that child is constantly trying to nurse and making a nuisance of itself. In contrast, the weaned child is calm and not at all worried where his next meal will come from. Other images come to mind, but the sense of trusting reminds me that whenever I try to meet my needs without trusting God’s supply or His timing is far more than a nuisance; it is a sin.

The other reminder from this reading is about preparation for sleep. That dream could have been an attack from “the accuser of the brethren” who attempts to sidetrack me. I’ve had several amazing answers to prayer this week and shared them with many. The devil doesn’t like it. When I go to bed, I often ask for a good night’s sleep because “God gives to His beloved sleep” (127:2). These following verses suggest that I also ask for God’s protection and make sure that He is on the throne of my heart and I’m not thinking of running my own life. As the psalmist says . . .

“I will not enter my house or get into my bed, I will not give sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids, until I find a place for the Lord, a dwelling place for the Mighty One of Jacob.” (132:3–5)

He was thinking of a ‘place’ of worship yet the NT says my body is now His tabernacle, even when I’m sleeping!

Included with a desire for His presence is praise, speaking well of God and relying on Him to take care of me. The psalmist calls out, “Come, bless the Lord, all you servants of the Lord, who stand by night in the house of the Lord! Lift up your hands to the holy place and bless the Lord!” (134:1–2)

This morning, I am acknowledging the self-effort of my dream and the sinful lack of depending on God to meet my needs, whether that shows up in a dream or in real life. Other verses tell me what to do: “As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!” (40:17) and “He delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper.” (72:12) I know that my spiritual enemy does not like these requests nor any confidence in the Almighty, but God loves to hear me call upon His name and I know that He will answer — in His time and in His way! Amen.