Finding balance

I’m trying to purge my file cabinet. Some of the paper is easy to toss. Some is scanned and stored digitally. Yesterday I came across a short piece I’d written, date unknown, called TUG-OF-WAR. It goes like this:

     My self—image suffers in a tension between the paradox of being a sinner yet a saint. It is like a tug of war, each side lunging and pulling on the other, the center line yanked back and forth. God does not assist either side — to win or to lose. Instead He helps both, whenever each needs it, to keep me in balance. The despair of guilt for what I have been cannot win against the joy of what I am becoming. The exultation of who I am in Christ cannot totally defeat the reminders of who I am without His grace.

     Learning to live in this seesaw tug of war and to be able to say “I am content" — that is the goal. I desire to be so centered on Christ that the motion of my center loses its effect on my consciousness, no more staccato, only holding firm, without my notice or regard.

Today my devotional guide takes me to the book of Romans. The theme is redemption and I know that many parts of this wonderful letter written by Paul touch on the idea of a tug-of-war. Part of it involves the battle between flesh and spirit. Part of it involves how to think about myself as a Christian. Am I a sinner? Am I a saint? Am I dead to sin? or alive in Christ? And if alive, why still the problem of sin? Paul says this:

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it — the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. (Romans 3:21–26)

This is redemption: a sinner saved by grace, not flipping back and forth but centered, holding on to both truths as I hold on to Jesus Christ, the One whose Light reveals my sin and whose Life and Love forgives it.

I read parts of a magazine devoted entirely to the subject of redemption. The beginning article makes this statement:

     Many in the church have grown tired of that old-time religion, and they have become enamored with the affluence of get-holy-quick, pop-Christian programs. They have joined arms with the razzlers and the dazzlers of the world’s marketplace, and they have set out on a journey down a yellow-brick road that will lead only to the great and powerful Judge whom they do not recognize, for without even realizing it they have abandoned their first love. For all practical purposes, the person and work of Jesus Christ have become commonplace, and the finished work of Christ’s atonement is largely taken for granted. (Tabletalk Magazine, September 2005: Redemption Accomplished. Lake Mary, FL: Ligonier Ministries, 2005.)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lord Jesus, whatever it takes, I do not want to be in that category. You have made me to be a person willing to see my dark side, my sins. As painful as this is, it keeps me from taking You and Your saving work for granted. Yesterday, a time of reflection and confession filled me with great joy. Last night, a vivid dream put me back in that tug-of-war. I don’t want the devil to keep me down, but I know that being “up” can get me flying too high to remember that You are the only reason I can get off the ground. Again, I come to You, my first love, and ask that You keep my thoughts, emotions and focus in that balanced place of knowing I am a sinner but also deeply aware that I am a sinner saved by grace.

Today’s thankful list . . .

More rain, better than forest fires!

Prayer with a friend.

A taxing workout with my trainer.

Long naps on the sofa.

Chicken soup and salmon sandwiches.

A time of fellowship with other women.

Technology.

A song for balance

When I was a new Christian, I attended an old-fashioned church that sang hymns from a hymn book! Some still do that, but we sing so many choruses that when a hymn is selected, people of a certain vintage are delighted.

Those old hymns are strong with theology. Many of them were written when Christians needed their faith affirmed and reinforced. Today’s repetitious choruses may reveal something about the state of our faith today.

All that aside, I turned to another devotional today that uses hymn stories. Of course I know the tune and the words to this oldie: Trust and Obey.

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word, what a glory He sheds on our way! While we do His good will He abides with us still, and with all who will trust and obey.

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies, but His smile quickly drives it away; not a doubt nor a fear, not a sigh nor a tear, can abide while we trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share, but our toil He doth richly repay; not a grief nor a loss, not a frown nor a cross, but is blest if we trust and obey.

But we never can prove the delights of His love until all on the altar we lay, for the favor He shows and the joy He bestows are for them who will trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet, or we’ll walk by His side in the way; what He says we will do, where He sends we will go—Never fear, only trust and obey.

Chorus: Trust and obey—for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus—but to trust and obey.

As the author says, these words provide a balance for the Christian life. I am to trust God totally, but that does not mean sitting on my duff expecting Him (or someone else) to do everything. At times, His plan includes my actions as part of the way He carries it out. According to these verses, obedience is part of trusting God.

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” (Psalm 37:3–5)

“If anyone loves me (Jesus), he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. (John 14:23)

“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him?  . . . Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless? Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up his son Isaac on the altar? You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by his works; and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness’—and he was called a friend of God.  . . . For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.” (James 2:14–26)

If I trust my doctor, then I will take my pills. If I trust the dress pattern that I bought, then I will sew it accordingly. If I trust God, then I will do what He says. The concept is simple, but obedience is sometimes very difficult. I tend to depend on being certain about what God wants before doing what I think He says, but the young man who prompted the songwriter to write “Trust and Obey” said, “I am not quite sure—but I am going to trust, and I am going to obey.”

^^^^^^^^^^^

Jesus, You know how I’ve struggled with doing something that seems impossible for me. I’ve made dozens of excuses and You have answered each one with clear statements from Your Word. Today, You speak to me again: If I love You, then I must do what You tell me to do and trust  the problems that I cannot do into Your care.

The Spiritual gift of Prophecy

Isaiah 20:1–22:25, Luke 7:36–8:15, Job 5:8–16

In the spiritual gifts listed in Romans 12, the one most difficult to live with seems to be the first. It is called a gift of prophecy, a word that means ‘to discern and declare the will of God.’ Those who study spiritual gifts have found that the people who have this gift are black and white in their judgments, hold terribly high standards, usually feel as if no one measures up including themselves, and can be blunt and unwavering.

Another characteristic of the prophetic gift is being quick to see sin and desire repentance. This can mean less optimism, more pessimism, and would rather be sorry for sin than go to a party.

When I do the ‘gift tests’ my scores are high for perceiver (and teacher, which is an ‘information gatherer’ who loves research). I find the surveys are right. The prophetic gift is hard to live with, but even teachers can be resented for popping up with things like, “The reason that happened . . . .” for we are analytical and always wanting to share what we know.

God can use the gifts He gives and each of them has value for kingdom building, as long as the Spirit is in control and not the flesh. Isaiah and the other prophets are examples for what the gift of discernment or prophecy looks like. Today’s reading shows how it worked in Isaiah:

In that day the Lord God of hosts called for weeping and mourning, for baldness and wearing sackcloth; but behold, joy and gladness, killing oxen and slaughtering sheep, eating flesh and drinking wine. “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.” The Lord of hosts has revealed himself in my ears: “Surely this iniquity will not be atoned for you until you die,” says the Lord God of hosts. (Isaiah 22:12–14)

Isaiah expressed God’s frustration with people who partied rather than repented. For them, a party was a way to escape conviction of sin. Some of us do become overly focused on guilt and the fact that we do not measure up to God’s high standards. For that, we need continual reminders that Jesus died for our sin and that we are not saved by our performance, but by His grace. A party is not at all helpful.

Eliphaz, one of Job’s comforters, may have had some gifts but he does something that shows he really has no idea what God is doing. He is too quick to accuse and condemn Job for sin when in reality, Job’s faith is being tested. Eliphas is totally out of the loop and I suspect the reason is spiritual pride. He says this: “As for me, I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause, who does great things and unsearchable, marvelous things without number . . . .” (Job 5:8–9)

He is right that God does great things, and is quick to praise Him, yet is terribly judgmental toward Job. His words, “As for me . . . .” come across as “I am better than you, Job.” He offers praise but he does not give God any credit for grace that enables him to seek God. Whatever gift Eliphaz may have had, it became twisted when pride crept in. Ask me how I know!

God’s people have one or two dominant gifts from the seven listed in Romans, but Jesus Christ had all of them in full perfection. He knew and proclaimed the will of God perfectly, never sliding into despair, or spiritual pride. The Pharisees thought the prophetic gift should be totally judgmental, not realizing that all gifts are balanced by God’s character. A prophet also must display mercy and grace. Isaiah showed that, and Luke tells of how Jesus showed grace to the Pharisees . . .

One of them invited Jesus to dinner. A sinful woman heard of it and went to the man’s house with an alabaster flask of ointment. She wept as she wet the feet of Jesus, wiped them with her hair, kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.

The Pharisee saw this and said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” He thought that his perception made him a prophet who could judge this woman.

Jesus knew not only the mind of God but also perceived what the man was thinking. He said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you . . . . A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

To his credit, the Pharisee got the answer right. He said it would be the one for whom the moneylender cancelled the larger debt.

Jesus then said, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” (Luke 7:36–50)

The true prophetic gift condemns sin, but to be like Jesus, it also forgives sinners.