Who is on the throne of my heart?

 

Every morning before reading the Bible I spend time singing. My voice is not great but the lyrics are prayers as well as worship. One song today is fairly new to me: “Oh give me rest from Self” with verses like: “This cruel self, oh, how it strives and works within my breast, to come between Thee and my soul, and keep me back from rest.”

Today’s devotional reading says the same thing! It describes how most people think they are the greatest or the most important people in the universe with lives made up of endless variations on the word “me.” I know that problem. While the Bible is clear that my old self died with Christ and is separated from God, the desire to be the center of everything, or fulfill my dreams, or share my views and wisdom, or get others to follow my ideas, blah, blah, blah. I enjoy people but am content to be alone, which does not help this battle with self. What I know is mostly related to myself.

The reading quotes Solomon’s battle with self-made happiness. He said in his heart:

“Come now, I will test you with pleasure; enjoy yourself.” But behold, this also was vanity. I said of laughter, “It is mad,” and of pleasure, “What use is it?” I searched with my heart how to cheer my body with wine—my heart still guiding me with wisdom—and how to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was good for the children of man to do under heaven during the few days of their life. I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. I made myself pools from which to water the forest of growing trees. I bought male and female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house. I had also great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces. I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man. So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem. Also my wisdom remained with me. And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 2:1–11)

In these verses, the word “I” is repeated more than a dozen times, yet at the end of his efforts, he realized that self rule did not profit him nor did it help anyone else. It was a waste of time and energy, a waste of his life.

Jesus  was not that way. He could pray, “Not my will but thine be done” because self was not the center of His universe — the souls of sinners were more important, and the will of His Father was at the top of the list. He spent all of His waking hours doing what God wanted Him to do — be with needy people, teaching them and being gracious unto them. His life was spent to redeem unworthy sinners such as me.

This makes Jesus the most important person in the universe. Without His grace, I would not even be alive and breathing, never mind forgiven and on my way to endless life with Him. He loves, heals, perseveres, is ever-present, all wise, full of grace and truth. To be like Him is to put the will of God front and center, knowing that my old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that I would no longer be enslaved to sin. (Romans 6)

PRAY: Keep my focus on You, Lord. It is too easy to consider my ideas and plans, even get annoyed if You bring interruptions to what I’m doing. How vain. Forgive my lapses into self-rule and enable continual trust in You, with all my heart and soul by Your grace, for You are the center of everything.

Is my ‘good life’ the will of God?

Joshua 23; Jeremiah 12; Matthew 26; Acts 3

Not sure where it came from but this quote keeps gnawing at me: “Beware that you don’t make an idol of the good life.”

This week my hubby was talking to another Christian who was bemoaning the prophetic ideas of end times. He was deeply upset over thoughts of tribulation and betrayals, persecution and the end of the world as we know it. My hubby kept reminding him that God also predicts victory — and in the end, Jesus wins. However, this good news was not received as a comfort. The man kept saying, “Yes . . .  but . . . .” Had he made an idol of the good life?

I know the danger. We are comfortable, healthy even though we have health issues, financially stable, and at peace. Thoughts of discomfort, sickness, poverty and stress hardly enter our heads. Yet I realize the danger of being so reliant on the gifts that I neglect the Giver.

I was tested yesterday. One thing that really gets me riled is computer problems. I use technology for many things and when it acts up without any explanation, tension builds . . . usually. Yesterday my email program would not open. This happened after an ‘update’ so I assumed something was changed by that update and spent several hours trying to figure out what it was. I’d opened it several times in ‘safe’ mode, but that didn’t work. Finally I did that again, rebooted the PC and the offending program started as normal with no loss of anything but time. Not my temper.

For once, I was calm during all of this. I credit the Holy Spirit and learned some lessons. One, He is adequate to give what is needed even for stuff that is normally frustrating. Two, I can survive without everything working perfectly — my peace does not depend on technology nor anything else but Jesus. Three, He can take over and show me His ability even when I don’t ask for it. Four, I did ask that the problem would be solved, but the real problem was my attitude. Sometimes spiritual lessons are learned in the classroom of life rather than from a sermon or Bible study.

Peter struggled with the same thing as the man my hubby talked to. He didn’t want to accept anything from Jesus that was going to be upsetting. In Matthew 16, Jesus told His disciples He would be killed and then rise again. Peter said, “Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” This got him a severe rebuke from Jesus: “Get the behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. for you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” (Matthew 16:21-23)

The next time was closer to that fateful day. Jesus just had instituted the Lord’s Supper . . .

And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.” Peter answered him, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same. (Matthew 26:30–35)

This time Peter and the others were ignoring or forgetting their tendency to fail. As I read both incidents in terms of idolizing the good life, I’m aware of how the desire for comfort can block my understanding of how God uses calamity for His purposes. Peter did not want Jesus to die — how horrible. He did not understand the purpose of God, at least not then.

Peter also did not want to betray Him, a lesson perhaps learned from the first rebuke, but this time it was because his trust in himself had a big flaw. To remain true to Jesus requires the power of the Holy Spirit and Peter had not yet learned that this also requires a revelation from God. Otherwise, he didn’t get it even though Jesus plainly said it.

APPLY: The human heart is fickle. My heart is too. Jesus lives there yet how many times have I relied on me instead of Him! The good life is good, but the will of God rises above my ideas of good. Jesus had to die. On this side of the Cross I can see the incredible goodness of that but in Peter’s place, he was not able to — yet. Also, on this side of the end of things and the prophecies of horrors that will happen, I must always take to heart that even though it will not be good, Jesus will indeed win!