Who is on the throne of my heart?

 

Every morning before reading the Bible I spend time singing. My voice is not great but the lyrics are prayers as well as worship. One song today is fairly new to me: “Oh give me rest from Self” with verses like: “This cruel self, oh, how it strives and works within my breast, to come between Thee and my soul, and keep me back from rest.”

Today’s devotional reading says the same thing! It describes how most people think they are the greatest or the most important people in the universe with lives made up of endless variations on the word “me.” I know that problem. While the Bible is clear that my old self died with Christ and is separated from God, the desire to be the center of everything, or fulfill my dreams, or share my views and wisdom, or get others to follow my ideas, blah, blah, blah. I enjoy people but am content to be alone, which does not help this battle with self. What I know is mostly related to myself.

The reading quotes Solomon’s battle with self-made happiness. He said in his heart:

“Come now, I will test you with pleasure; enjoy yourself.” But behold, this also was vanity. I said of laughter, “It is mad,” and of pleasure, “What use is it?” I searched with my heart how to cheer my body with wine—my heart still guiding me with wisdom—and how to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was good for the children of man to do under heaven during the few days of their life. I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. I made myself pools from which to water the forest of growing trees. I bought male and female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house. I had also great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces. I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man. So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem. Also my wisdom remained with me. And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 2:1–11)

In these verses, the word “I” is repeated more than a dozen times, yet at the end of his efforts, he realized that self rule did not profit him nor did it help anyone else. It was a waste of time and energy, a waste of his life.

Jesus  was not that way. He could pray, “Not my will but thine be done” because self was not the center of His universe — the souls of sinners were more important, and the will of His Father was at the top of the list. He spent all of His waking hours doing what God wanted Him to do — be with needy people, teaching them and being gracious unto them. His life was spent to redeem unworthy sinners such as me.

This makes Jesus the most important person in the universe. Without His grace, I would not even be alive and breathing, never mind forgiven and on my way to endless life with Him. He loves, heals, perseveres, is ever-present, all wise, full of grace and truth. To be like Him is to put the will of God front and center, knowing that my old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that I would no longer be enslaved to sin. (Romans 6)

PRAY: Keep my focus on You, Lord. It is too easy to consider my ideas and plans, even get annoyed if You bring interruptions to what I’m doing. How vain. Forgive my lapses into self-rule and enable continual trust in You, with all my heart and soul by Your grace, for You are the center of everything.

Love Me as I have loved you . . .

The sermon today told me that to show my love for God, I need to love others. This is His commandment and it fits with the focus He gave me. I am to humble myself to do His will, loving others and not being concerned for myself. He will take care of me.

As I read the above passages, I can see the contrasts. In Genesis, the entire population had given itself to evil – except Noah . . .  “The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. So the Lord said, ‘I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, man and animals and creeping things and birds of the heavens, for I am sorry that I have made them.’ But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.” (Genesis 6:5–8)

Then God told this man that He was going to make an end of all flesh, so Noah was to make an ark. God gave him the exact directions including dimensions, told him what to put in the ark for food, and to take two of every living creature as well.

I cannot imagine the mirth of Noah’s neighbors. The earth up to this time was watered by a mist. They didn’t know about rain or floods, but Noah persisted in building it anyway. Then God told him to go into the ark with his wife and family, and “Noah did this; he did all that God commanded him.” (Genesis 6:22) After the ark was full, God shut them in and the rain began to fall.

Noah was righteousness in that he believed God and did what he was told. He could have worried “what will people think?” but he did not. He could have laughed at the threat of rain and a flood, but he did not. He could have worried about the fate of his home and possessions, but he did not.

Noah stands in contrast to Solomon who was called the wisest man. He said, “I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. I made myself pools from which to water the forest of growing trees . . . And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 2:4-6, 10–11)

This man was filled with “I” and thought only of what would give him pleasure. He didn’t listen to God for much of his life and wound up feeling empty because of it.

Last are the words of Jesus. He says, “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven . . .”  (Matthew 6:1) This touches on another kind of selfishness, the performance of a Christian that seems to be serving God but is only in it for themselves. Such service wants to look good rather than turning from self to obey God.

After several examples, Jesus seems to cover the folly of Solomon and the righteousness of Noah with a simple statement: “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19–21)

Noah lost much in the flood, but by obeying God, he and his family escaped the judgment that destroyed everyone else and all they had. Solomon gain gold and silver, countless wives, horses and other treasures, but he lost all joy and learned the hard way the value of humility and obedience.

All day, God has been warning me about loving Him in order to impress others. Instead, I’m to love Him by serving others, even if it costs me everything. Jesus loved me so much that He died for me -- and His love is my example.

Life’s greatest fulfilment

And I applied my heart to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven. It is an unhappy business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind. (Ecclesiastes 1:13–14)

Don, a brilliant young man with high IQ and love for Jesus Christ, read the book of Ecclesiastes and came to a conclusion that I’ve not heard from anyone else. He decided that it was written with joy! That is, Solomon had tried it all, found everything a vanity (like vapor), then joyfully understood that the meaning of life is only found in knowing and serving God.

Spurgeon might like that idea. He writes that nothing can satisfy the entire man but the Lord’s love and the Lord’s own self. The older I become, the more I see the same reality. God’s people try to find fulfilment in many things, but we tire of all else. Better to realize that Solomon, the wisest of men, was permitted to make experiments for us all and not do it ourselves. He had the resources for these things, some that we cannot or should not do in our own search for fulfilment.  Here is Solomon’s testimony:

I said in my heart, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure; enjoy yourself.” But behold, this also was vanity. I said of laughter, “It is mad,” and of pleasure, “What use is it?” I searched with my heart how to cheer my body with wine — my heart still guiding me with wisdom — and how to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was good for the children of man to do under heaven during the few days of their life. I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. I made myself pools from which to water the forest of growing trees. I bought male and female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house. I had also great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces. I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man. So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem. Also my wisdom remained with me. And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 2:1–11)

He tried everything and concluded that life’s baubles were just that — mere baubles. Nothing lasts, and nothing truly satisfies. His conclusion:

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. (Ecclesiastes 12:13)

The New Testament completes this decision. Our satisfaction is in a person, not in popularity, achievement, status, or any other thing. As Spurgeon says, “To embrace our Lord Jesus, to dwell in his love, and be fully assured of union with him — this is all in all.”

Just as some children must touch the fire to believe it is hot, some people must try other ways to live, yet in all the beautiful places I’ve been and seen, there is nothing that can compare to my Savior’s face. I’ve had the comforts of life, but without Jesus and His presence, all is wretched and a burden. In contrast, I’ve been in pain and trials, but because the Christ was with me in those dark places, they were not only meaningful, but He gave me joy.

I understand what Don concluded. Life’s good things as well as its horrors can be laughed at, not because of madness or a detached insanity, but because the Lord Jesus Christ can make a dungeon a paradise. He can enter our trials, obscurities, famine, or persecutions and give us joy. In Him, there is peace.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

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Lord, You enter the battleground of my mind with such good thoughts. Yet even more, You are in my life — bringing me Your joy and peace. No matter what life splatters on me, or how I perceive the daily struggles, I can take heart and I can have great peace — because You have overcome all of those things — and because You live right here in my heart.