Today is considered ‘love’ day when special expressions of love are offered, expected, and appreciated. This is not a worldwide holiday. Several countries do not recognize it. A few designate it as a private thing, unlike North America where the stores are filled with red, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates.
Biblical love is generally not describe the same way we describe romantic love. Bible love is more about the love of God for those who know Jesus and how that love is expressed.
That said, today’s reading speaks of another idea about love. When Lazarus died, Jesus went to his sisters and one verse says, “Jesus wept.” At this, The Jews said, “See how he loved him!” (John 11:36) This is oddly different from the words of both sisters who said, “If You had been here…” perhaps implying His love failed them. In other words, reading this brings out the fact that I cannot see hearts and know why people say or do what they do, particularly about love.
This reminds me of the pastor who saw a woman weeping during his message and assumed she was deeply touched by what he said. After the service, he found out she was crying because her cat just died!
As for the tears of Jesus, it seems wise not to interpret them by saying what made Him weep. Who knows? Sometimes we don’t understand the motivations of others.
The study of love languages gives more examples. One of my family feels loved when given gifts, but she is not greedy in the slightest. I feel loved when listened to and rejected when ignored. Others feel loved when touched, valuing a hug or a touch on their arm. It appears that the Jews interpreted Jesus’ tears as an expression of love but He may have thought something else. He also wept in another situation:
And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation.” (Luke 19:41–44)His tears did express love, grief, and loss, but not because a friend died. Instead, Jerusalem rejected His arrival as their Messiah and He felt great sorrow for them and for what they were missing. At the grave of Lazarus, He could have wept because of a similar lack of faith in His power to raise Lazarus.
When the Bible tells me to love others, I’m also seeing how love is not always what I might suppose either. One passage says biblical love comes from those who know God and His love — through knowing Christ and His salvation. Love from me is His love in me, not from just me. I must abide in Him, be certain of His love, be confident that I’m forgiven and without fear of judgment. I love God because He loves me, and can only love His way by being certain of His love. (1 John 4:7–19) I need to be filled with His Spirit to love in a way that makes others feel loved by God.
Scripture also describes love in more concrete terms that show how God's love is not about what most people think it is. Instead of loving someone for how good they make me feel, showing His love is an expression of care for others without any benefit in it for me:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:1–7)PRAY: Lord, Your love is far beyond human description and ability. The closest I can come to understand it is by staying near the cross where You died. You say most of us would likely not die for a righteous person, or maybe a good person, but in love, You died for us while we were still sinners. Enable me to never turn my heart away from this amazing and gracious ultimate expression of Your love, a love not based on performance or what anyone does for me, except that You love me and You died for me. (Romans 5:7–8)
