Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22–33)Many women protest this passage from the NT because in their mind, submission means a ‘yes’ person, no choices, and no say about anything. A doormat. While the dialog is missing, it seems obvious that if Eve had done what the NT says, that forbidden fruit would not have been eaten and sin would not have affected their relationship with God.
After over fifty-five years of marriage, I am totally convinced that God knows what He is talking about. If I interact with my hubby the way the church is supposed to relate to Jesus Christ, nothing could be more rewarding and secure. Sure, I get upset when he doesn’t listen or behaves in a way that does not honor the Lord, yet my challenge is the same as the people of God. He shocks us now and then. I must wait and trust Him, let the Holy Spirit deal with it. By listening to the Lord and doing what He says in every situation, I am closer to Him and closer to him. Respect for him cannot mean reproving, correcting, insisting on my own way — none of that works with Jesus nor does it reflect a humble relationship toward Him.
One friend said, “I’ll submit to my husband when he starts acting like Jesus.” Does Jesus always do what I tell Him? He answers my prayers but every answer is a surprise and always for my good. However, the quickest way to silence Him is to stop doing what He tells me to do. Applying that, is it not easier for a man to love his wife if she determines to be lovable? Rather than hard to please, a manipulator, always complaining and wanting her way ‘or else’? Blessed are the peacemakers.
Sin began a conflict. God said to Eve that she would suffer pain in childbirth, and also that her “desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16) The conflict about who is the boss has ruined many marriages because the essence of sin is, “I will have my own way” and that applies to both husbands and wives. Created to be his helper takes on great significance after realizing God calls Himself our Helper. Only by looking to Him can I understand what that means and how to do it.
Jesus, when You said, “Not my will but thine be done” in Your prayer, I wondered why. What is wrong with Your will? You are sinless. But that statement was not about Your ability but about Your willingness to yield and to trust the Father’s plan. Trusting You with my hubby has brought him to a walk with You that is a blessing to both of us and to the people around us. How can I not say AMEN to being a submissive helper when You show me how Jesus did it and it became Your the way to bless the world!