Faith in Jesus wins spiritual wars

For the past few days, Satan attacked me but I didn’t recognize what he was doing. I’ve never felt so discouraged and helpless. His methods are deceptive and the results are not easily traced back to their source. For a day or two, I wondered if this was depression, insanity, paranoia, losing my mind, or what. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and anything I could do was by rote.

Last night, a cousin called. I’ve not talked to her for years. She is mildly religious, makes quilts, and likes to laugh. We chatted for 90 minutes. I almost felt normal until I got off the phone. Then those black clouds rolled over me again.

This morning, remembering Sunday’s good message on putting on the armor of God, I began to think about truth. I wanted to get out of the pit that pulled me down. Two songs came to mind: “Jesus loves me” and “I am a child of God.” Singing them helped.

After breakfast I came to my desk and remembered a file somewhere on my computer that lists truth about my identity in Christ. It was easy to find, so I printed it out and read the first two items:

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, (John 1:12) I am a child of God.”

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:1) I have peace with God.”

As soon as I noted that today’s devotional heading is, “Getting Priorities in Order” I knew I was on the right track. While it seems obvious now, in that pit truth had been ground in the mud and made no sense. Seeing it in black and white drove away the fog.

Without going into details, the gist of the enemy’s attack was a strong example of: “If you cannot make a plain statement understandable to another person, how can you pray to God in such a way that He hears and understands you?”

Satan does not want me to pray. This lie seems silly and easy to identify now, but at the time it was as if all my light was turned off. If this ‘suggestion’ was not enough, he kept hitting me with negative reinforcement, such as “God never hears you.” “He never answers your prayers.” “He reinterprets them so what you say is not His will.” Blah, blah, blah.

Tozer’s words were not helpful. He was writing of a place I am not in, but his selected passage of Scripture blesses me:

“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.” (Romans 11:33–36)

^^^^^^^^^

Jesus, even though I’m still feeling a bit weak and wounded, I now understand more about the ways of that old snake, and more about how to gain victory over his lies. Truth will do it. You do hear and answer our cries from the heart, even if I cannot express them with my mouth. You know how to open my eyes so I can see and understand what is happening. You know how much I can take, and what to do to bring me out of a dark place. In the innermost part of me, I know that the enemy’s strategy is to discourage me from praying. He will distract, destroy, and tell me lies so that I will not talk to You. He did all that, but You heard me anyway. To You be glory forever!