Disquieting inertia

Discouragement settled over me this morning even as I got out of bed. Spurgeon’s devotional words seemed just words. I tried My Utmost for His Highest and those words were also just words. Then I noticed the reading for tomorrow. Its title: “Are you discouraged in devotion?”

The author asks if I have ever heard Jesus say a hard word. Of course, but then I thought about yesterday’s word. It seemed so lovely, but already it is hard. He told me to begin a new habit. We had company last night and by the time we had dessert and tea, it was late. Going out to “meditate in the field” seemed too hard. I wanted to go to bed, tried to meditate there, but fell asleep. I did not get off to a good start in this new habit.

While this rich young man who came to Jesus was looking for salvation, we are alike in that he also found the words of Jesus very hard.

When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” But when he heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich. (Luke 18:22–23)

The devotional writing points out that Jesus put no pressure at all on this man. He did not plead, cajole or make him feel that he must do it. Instead, He spoke those words and said nothing.

This is exactly how I heard Him speaking to me about changing my evening routine. I listened. It sounded great. I understood exactly what He asked and even liked what I heard — but I didn’t do it. Like this young man, I came to Him full of desire and now feel thoroughly discouraged. Instead of His Word producing enthusiastic devotion, it produced nothing.

Jesus did not go after him. Instead, He let him go. The devotional writer says that the Lord knows that when once His word is heard, it will bear fruit sooner or later. Is that true? He says so, and says that when I do make up my mind to follow through on this particular issue, He will never cast my failures in my face. This encourages me, but I know that if left to myself, I cannot obey. In helplessness, I must rely on His Spirit to give me the motivation and follow-through for even this seemingly pleasant change.

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Lord, as I follow, You lead me through green pastures and beside still waters, but You also take me over mountain passes and up steep slopes. Changing a habit seems a simple thing, particularly when You are asking me to do something that in itself is lovely. Why then is it so difficult?

Part of this is about the inner resistance of my old nature to all that is good and godly. Part of it is inertia; old ways are easier that taking a higher road or a new path. Break my love of routine and move me in the direction You are asking me to take. I agree that what You ask is good, but my physical body needs to move beyond mere acquiescence to actual obedience.