His presence now and forever

God again amazes me. Yesterday, after a time of prayer I felt just as weak and useless as before. Several projects on my to-do list seemed overwhelming, but I had to do them. I picked the most dreaded one to tackle first. It loomed as a mountain, but it seemed I was on autopilot. Very odd. The next thing I knew it was finished.

The next item (computer related) actually was worse because I wasn’t sure how to do what I was supposed to do. I had one of those “Dummies” books but even it seemed written in a foreign language. Then, after several false starts and mistakes, this task also was finished. I’m looking back and thinking, “I did that?” I have no idea how. It just happened.

Today, I still feel helpless. However, the Lord has more deeply educated me in how His strength is perfected in weakness. Also, He offers two thoughts from two sources that lift my spirit. One is about prayer (and I know that people are praying). It comes from this verse where Jesus says, 

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:6)

The devotional writer states the obvious when he says prayer is an effort of will. While at times I pray in desperation because of trials and tough situations, consistent daily prayer is a choice. In the flesh, I will not make that choice. I need the power of God at work in me to even talk to Him, in public or in a secret place. For too many days, it seems that His power is way off somewhere, and mine is not enough. I struggle to focus. I also fight those “you have other things to do” thoughts.

Yet Jesus says to shut the door, shut out all else but Him. This is much easier when I sense that God is near and feel close to Him, but His presence is not about my feelings. God says He never leaves or forsakes His people. He is always near. I dare not rely on a sense of His presence but on His promise of it.

The best part of this devotional reading was about how God sees. Because He is in secret (that is, not visible to the human eye or discernable to the unsanctified heart), He also sees me in that secret place, not as other people see or even as I see myself. He knows who I am and all about me.

His presence is most certain when I go there too, because He is most discernable when all else is pushed to the other side of that closed door. Then, to top it off, the devotional reading reminded me that when I go into this secret place to pray to my Father in secret, even if it is difficult and it seems that He is not there, then every public thing I do “will be stamped with His presence.” Astonishing.

The second blessing came from this promise to God’s people in the Old Testament that alludes to the future glory that will belong to His people in eternity . . . 

I will rejoice in Jerusalem and be glad in my people; no more shall be heard in it the sound of weeping and the cry of distress. (Isaiah 65:19)

With Jesus in glory there will be no more tears, no outward cause for grief, no inner pain. Broken relationships, ruined plans, poverty, famine, peril, persecution and slander are unknown there. I will not have any emptiness, losses, thoughts of death or bitterness of bereavement.

Further, I will be perfected. No “evil heart of unbelief” will move me away from the living God (for is it not true that I move away, not Him?). I will be without fault and fully conformed to His image. All fear of change will be past, all sin shut out, and His people are eternally secure and shut in.

The rest of this second reading speaks of the eternal delights in that eternal city: no storms, a sun that never sets, a river that never floods or runs dry, fruit trees that never wither. I will weep no more because every desire is fulfilled, all needs possessed. The joy of Christ will never leave.

***************

God, this devotional reading finishes with, “Wherefore comfort one another with these words” and in the reading of them, You comfort me. The losses, threats and weakness of this past week have not changed. They are still looming over me, but You are here too, and You have not changed. Even when I struggle to keep my eyes on You, in that secret place You keep Your eyes on me. I also know that the trials of life are but a “light and momentary affliction that is preparing me for an eternal weight of glory.”

I’m not enjoying the stirring of the pot in this preparation process, but thank You for turning my mind toward the present reality of Your power — and the future reality of never losing sight of You.