Seeking Peace

When we were children, my sister and I invented a sign language so we could talk in front of our brothers without them knowing what we were saying. It almost always provoked them to anger. When my children were small, the daughter in the middle knew how to get her two brothers to fight with each other, then sweetly watched as they were punished for something she started.

Sibling mini wars are only one kind of conflict that require two or more for a fight. Married couples, business partners, admin assistants, charity group executives, or any other pair or group of people have the potential for turmoil among them.

As my devotional reading for today says, a fully peaceful relationship cannot be one-sided. It takes two to strike a peace accord. Nevertheless, God says,

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. (Romans 12:18)

This means that I must do my part to make sure that I am doing (or stop doing) whatever is necessary to get along with others. Am I willing to give up my wants and such things as the desire to “one-up” someone, or to get even when I am wronged? This is key to obeying this verse.

Jesus knew how to do seek peace. The crowd tried to make Him a king and He managed to vanish rather than argue with them. They wanted to kill Him and He slipped from their midst rather than being in the middle of a conflict. At the end when they decided to kill Him, rather than fight back, “He committed Himself to the Father who judges righteously” and said, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”

There are some issues worth fighting for, or as a friend says, some hills worth dying on, but these must be carefully chosen. What is worth risking a relationship? I am standing firm for something God would battle for, or is this just a personal I-want?

Most situations with the potential for conflict are like that because I want something. It might be the distinction of being right or to have the last word. However, I realize that short of compromising the Word of God, I need to go to any length to build peace, even with those who want to go to war with me.

I can at least refuse to fight, but to do that I need to set aside all grudges and bitterness or any other demands for my own way or personal rights, just as Jesus did. What was His secret? I think He sought peace because He knew who He was and the truth about everything. He had nothing to prove and no axes to grind. Instead, He forgave His enemies and gave up His life so those who hated Him could be reconciled to God.

Jesus was not a pacifist; He knew when to stand up and demand righteousness, but He was also a peacemaker and never provoked others to fight, nor did He relish conflict. If anyone hated Him and was at odds with Him, it was their own sinful attitude, not that He had done anything to warrant it.

By observing Jesus, I know that seeking peace means giving up power, control, pride and my rights. This is also about refusing to insist on anything, but instead trusting God who knows all things and can make all things right.