The path is straight, it’s me that gets twisted

I feel like a pretzel. Learning how to walk the Christian walk and please God takes me one way then another until sometimes I feel turned back on myself.

For instance, when I became a Christian I talked without thinking. God had to teach me to be quiet, then after months of lessons on that, He began teaching me to speak up at His bidding instead of my own impulses. Furthermore, these are ongoing lessons.

Yesterday the Lord repeated to me that I must not think evil about others or focus on the evil in them, but now I see another pretzel lesson in the second half of this verse.

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. (Romans 12:17)

Here the English words “have regard for” come from a Greek word, pronoeo. It occurs three times in the New Testament and is translated as “provide for” and “provide” but it can also mean to perceive before, foresee, think of beforehand or to take thought for and care for a thing.

For many years I felt I had to plan everything. Then (here comes the pretzel lesson) God has been teaching me to quit making my own plans and just follow His leading, moment by moment. As I read this verse, I see that I am also supposed to plan ahead, think about what I am going to do. Arggg! Bend this way, now this way . . . !

But I know the difference between my planning in the beginning and this. It used to be that all my planning was about what I wanted and what would benefit me. Here, God is saying that I need to think ahead of time how I can do good things, planning how I can provide good for others.

Some versions say “right” or “noble” things. The word is kalos and it appears more than one hundred times. Most of them are translated into “good” yet other words are sometimes used such as better, honest, and so on. This word is about that which is beautiful, handsome, excellent, eminent, choice, surpassing, precious, useful, suitable, commendable, and admirable.

My mother used to joke that some people seem to think a good meal falls out of the cupboard. According to these words, I must not think the same thing about doing good to others. Perhaps at times a good deed could be spontaneous, but the idea here is to continually think ahead and plan for how I might provide something good for someone else.

I write this thinking that many people would not be so analytical; they would just do it. However, God is concerned about the heart. I remember a woman who was not a Christian saying, “I love to do things for others because it makes me feel so good.”

Her motives for doing things for others were mostly for herself. Mine can be also. As I read these verses and think about what God emphasizes, it seems clear to me that when I do good, God is not focusing one bit on what is in it for me — nor how I feel about it.