I’m my own worst enemy

Even though Paul wrote that a Christian’s battle is “not against flesh and blood” some days it seems like it. I don’t mean the flesh and blood of other people; I’m talking about my own.

My enemies are “the world, the flesh, and the devil” not always in that order. The devil with his lies appeals to my flesh with its desires and these conflict with the Holy Spirit speaking to my spirit about obedience. Stir in the circumstances in my world, and the war begins.

Today’s temptation is a pity party; turn inward and feel sorry for myself. My face is swollen, black and blue, and hard as a stone. It hurts only a little yet I’m having trouble thinking about anything else. I’m not to neglect it (ice, heat, antibiotics, rest, etc.) yet the Holy Spirit isn’t about to sanction a full-blown, poor-me day.

This doesn’t seem like a big deal. What’s wrong with curling up in a ball and indulging myself? Not a great deal unless the prayers I would otherwise pray today don’t get prayed. Not a great deal unless this is a pattern of life that the Lord would like changed.

I once had an art teacher who went out winter and summer to paint landscapes. After showing a painting he’d done outside at minus 40 degrees, we wondered why he bothered. He said, “If I let the weather keep me from painting, pretty soon I will never go out to paint.”

His words echo back now and then because they apply to all my procrastination. If I let my mood keep my from cleaning the house, pretty soon I will never clean it. It I let my seeming lack of imagination keep me from creating, pretty soon I will never create. If I let my aches and pains keep me from serving others or even praying for them, pretty soon I will never serve or even pray.

Paul also struggled with this flesh vs. spirit thing. He wrote about it in Romans 7:

I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin. (Romans 7:21-25)

For some, the answer might be to pretend that this conflict is not there. “Oh, I’m fine. I can do everything, no problem.” Paul didn’t do that. He acknowledged that his flesh had other ideas than what God wanted. He realized that this was the condition of being a Christian still on earth; we are stuck with this old nature and since it still wants to run the show, we need to battle it with the power God gives us. This power is found in Jesus Christ, my Lord. He will give me what I need to live for Him, no matter what is going on in my life.

This power can only come through confession, not “trying harder” or “pulling up my socks” or acting as if there is no problem. Jesus says He will forgive and cleanse me (1 John 1:9). Forgiveness for selfish indulgence is wonderful as it removes that sense of guilt, but cleansing is no less amazing. God not only washes my sin from His records, but opens my life for the power of Christ. Instead of my sinful flesh being in control, I can face each day in the power of the Holy Spirit.

What will that mean this day, in a practical sense? It will mean that I can be genuinely thankful for what is going on in my life (healing, for one thing), and that I can consider others. I may not have the energy or physical strength yet to do any physical service for others, but I can pray for them, maybe even get on the telephone and call a few to encourage them.

As Paul says, in my flesh “dwells no good thing” but I don’t have to live in the bondage of my flesh. Because of Jesus, I can serve the Lord.

Medical update (which I wrote before the above): The stiffness and a dull pain prevented a good night’s sleep. I should have taken one of those big pink pills before retiring. The swelling is hard as a rock today, quite uncomfortable and distracting.
Later addition: However, as the Lord leads me, because of His love and grace, I don’t need to have a pity-party to replace my usual time of prayer.