Making Music, Being Heard

For me there is nothing more frustrating than not being heard. This isn’t about being agreed with or getting someone to do what I want. It is about being treated as if I were silent or invisible, that my words are so insignificant that they simply are given no attention whatsoever.

God has shown me that I can do a few things to ensure that I’m heard. One is to not talk all the time. If I am yapping constantly about nothing in particular, others shut their ears in self-defense. Then when I’ve something important to say, they don’t notice, sort of like the boy who constantly cried wolf. When the wolf actually showed up, no one listened.

Another thing is to listen, really listen, to others. I don’t have to agree with what they say, but when I listen, it shows respect for them and their ideas. Often, what goes around comes around. Besides, things may come out that another person didn’t plan to say, but because I am listening—without judgment, which is important—that person feels confident to bare their soul and speak what is on their heart.

A third thing is being responsible with what I hear. If someone tells me something in confidence, of course I shouldn’t yap about it to others, but there is more that I can do. I can take to heart what is on their heart and pray for them. This also helps me be “other focused” so when I talk, my words are not so likely to be all about me.

The fourth is simple, but this one often escapes me. To be heard when I speak, I need to ask for feedback. Every spouse knows that you can talk and while your husband (or wife) seems to be listening, they are really thinking about tomorrow’s football game or next week’s dinner invitation. We are simply like that. So when I say something, I need to ask my husband to affirm what I say, sometimes by repeating it back, but mostly by asking questions.

It isn’t always my fault that others don’t listen. They might have problems on their mind, have heard it twenty-five times already, or are just being rude. In those cases, I need to be aware and govern my speech accordingly.

The Bible suggests that God hears everything. While I cannot imagine how He can discern individual voices in the cacophony of sounds going out into the air, I know that because He is God, He is able to hear me talking, even know my thoughts, and at the same time, hear everyone else in the world and know their thoughts. Amazing!

1 John 5:14-15 is even more amazing. It says, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”

God is a good listener. He doesn’t talk all the time, but pays attention. Further, He takes responsibility for what He hears. He knows what to do about the things we share with Him.

For instance, I’m praying for wisdom regarding a family situation. He is able to convey to me the best action I can take, the words I need to say (or not), and orchestrate the timing so His solution works.

However, prayer is a request for feedback. Other than simple praise, every biblical prayer asks God to do something. Most of the time it is that He responds to a need, but sometimes I’ve prayed with, “God, if You are listening, let me know” and He lets me know by answering my prayer.

There is a caveat to this: “if we ask anything according to His will.” I don’t boss God around with my petitions. One sure way to make people stop listening to me is by constantly telling them what to do and this is an even bigger insult to the wisdom and sovereignty of God. Who am I to tell Him what to do?

Instead, I need to find out His purposes and desires, learn how He thinks, quit wanting my own way, and forever put away the notion that He is a cosmic vending machine.

Someone explained that praying in the will of God is like learning to play with a symphony orchestra. Most first efforts are out of tune, even producing a screeching discord, but as the band plays on and as I learn the music and listen, eventually my playing (and my praying) will not be just noise. It will fit in and flow along with the lovely sound of His will. Even better, the Maestro Himself will hear my notes and let me know that He is listening by making my music part of His glorious sound.