In my own defense?

I’ve a book of daily writing assignments and glanced at the next one a few minutes ago. It said to list the ways I protect myself against unpleasantness and offered several options for using that in my writing.

This book is not based on a Christian world view, but it knows human nature. No one likes difficult circumstances, hurtful remarks, losses, or anything emotionally or physically painful. I’ve done things like denial, retaliation, excuse-making, and more to avoid them.

However, Christ changes that. As a new Christian over 35 years ago, one of the first things He taught me is that He would use everything that happens in my life for my good (Romans 8:28). A little later He also showed me that “good” meant He would use all things to transform me into His own image (Romans 8:29). All things. The good, bad, joyful, painful, wanted and unwanted. Those verses changed my world view, particularly about the bad stuff.

Not long after that, I read a book called Born Crucified. Through it God taught me what it means to die to selfishness, self-interests, self-rule. The old me is gone, crucified with Christ, and the new me is united with Him. Therefore, He wants me to live my Christian life under His sovereign guidance, not try to run things on my own. He began showing me that any attempts to protect myself from the tough stuff could thwart what He was trying to do with me.

This morning, I’m reading 2 Corinthians 4:8-11. Paul is suffering under many things, but he explains the same idea; God has a plan to bring forth the life of Christ in his life, even through difficulties and trials.

It says, “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.”

If Paul wanted to avoid those hard things, he could stop preaching the gospel and run for cover. He choose to do what he was doing and he was free to choose otherwise, but he knew enough about God that he didn’t try to protect himself. He knew that God is sovereign. He also felt “compelled” to carry on, knowing that God called him to do what he was doing. Anything else would be disobedience.

He also knew the purpose of his calling. In the next chapter (2 Corinthians 5:18) he says, “Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.”

For Paul, his life work and ministry of preaching the gospel and bringing folks to Christ included difficulties. He accepted them as part of what it means to be God’s ambassador and allowed God to use those trials as He sovereignly saw fit.

My calling isn’t as public or huge in the whole scheme of kingdom building. Nevertheless, if God is going to use me, I need to allow Him to whittle off the parts that don’t look like Jesus. He does this through His word (which convicts me of sin so I can confess and be cleansed), and through life’s tough stuff. The tough stuff shows me where I can trust Him more than I already do, but it also gives me opportunity to die to self, to the things I want, and to all that is temporary and without eternal value.

I suppose the hardest part of this is not being able to see that the life of Christ is being manifested in me, even in trials. I feel the pressures, perplexities and weight of them, and must by faith carry on, trusting God to “deliver me to death” in it all, and to somehow show the life of Christ in me to others.

I don’t clearly see that, but I do clearly see that I must let God take care of whatever happens to me. He is my Fortress and Protector. if I try to protect myself, I’d surely miss something of that amazing privilege of being transformed, the very ultimate in “good” that He has planned for me.