Speed bumps

“You shall hide (those who trust in You) in the secret place of Your presence from the plots of man; you shall keep them secretly in a (shelter) from the strife of tongues.” (Psalm 31:2, 20, NKJV)

The past couple of days have been a challenge. Three things happened. First, my Bible class got scrambled by long discussion on two prayer requests (why can’t we just stop talking and pray?) and by several questions unrelated to our Bible study. The topic was derailed and because it was such a good topic with the possibility of great blessing to everyone, I felt ‘unfinished’ after class.

Second, several people were upset about something and instead of going to the person responsible, they were telling me. The same ‘ something’ annoyed me too, so it seemed up to me to speak to the person responsible. I did. That person was not receptive and did not agree that a change was needed.

Third, I’d asked another person their opinion of a creative work I’d done. He didn’t hear me right and thought I was showing him something another person did that I was supposed to fix. So his remarks were very negative and much more forceful than normal. I quickly realized he was saying what he thought I wanted to hear — criticism that would make me feel justified in redesigning the piece — rather than telling me what he really thought of it, or even having an opinion. He admitted that he didn’t even really look at it. I felt like an indulged annoyance, patronized, that my creative efforts are not important.

God says He will hide me in the secret place of His presence and shelter me from the words of others. I’m resisting that. It does not seem like a real solution, only one that ‘licks my wounds’ but does not heal them. I’d like to do the class over, have that person be thankful his mistake was corrected and change things, and hear the third one genuinely apologize for ‘patting me on the head.’ (He did offer a knee-jerk “I’m sorry,” however, that was not real either.)

I could toughen up by thinking things like, “It is not my fault. He sinned, not me” but that won’t work. However, hiding in the Lord makes me feel that I am not facing these things either. Yet I don’t want to resist God, although His presence right now feels like escapism instead of resolving anything. Still, what can I do about the sins of others? I can rebuke them, but that does not mean they will change or even admit they did wrong. Unless God convicts and changes them, their attitudes will still be part of their lives.

I can’t retaliate either, or turn back the clock. I can’t make someone repent. I can’t change someone’s character flaws. I can only hope that the Lord hears the cry of my heart. Maybe He will just change me.