Facing our mortality

“I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him I will trust.’” (Psalm 91:2, NKJV)

If the past few weeks Bible readings have been repetitive, I now know the reason. God emphasizes the importance of trusting Him because He already knew what we just found out. My husband has an elevated blood reading. After some tests, he was told this week that he has “chronic lymphocytic leukemia” a form of blood cancer which can progress slowly or rapidly. That means he as few as two or as long as 15-20 years. This type of leukemia messes up the blood cells that guard his immune system. He needs to have his blood monitored every four months and guard against getting over-tired or stressed because infections and other complications can be as big a danger. There is no cure for CLL.

So how do I think about this? His doctor is also our friend and a Christian. He called yesterday and said something about “grieving our mortality . . .” and we said together, “. . . and trust the Lord.”

Most of what I write for this blog may sound “pie in the sky” to some, or like an idealism that doesn’t work out in real life. This is not so. The Lord is a refuge and a fortress. When I bring the easy and the hard things of life to Him, He meets me and gives me peace and wisdom. I have no idea what the next months or years will hold (who does?), but I know He is in charge of our lives. My husband has always said, “Everyone is terminal” and he said it again this week. The issue is not that we die, but that we are ready.

So are we ready to meet the Lord? Yes. Are we ready to go through all of this? I’m not sure, but we are talking about the details, everything from the adequacy of our insurance to the down-sizing of our stuff.

At the end of this psalm, God says of those who trust Him, “He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation.”

He is with us, and He has shown us that His salvation means that the “long life”He promises may not be in this world, but in the next one it will last forever.