Feeling helpless

I’ve seen it, said it, taught it, but still don’t like that fact that God’s strength is perfected in weakness. The reason? Others may see the strength, but I feel the weakness.

‘Weakness’ is from a Greek word that means “incapacity — lack of physical, natural, or preternatural qualifications.” It is that total sense of ‘I cannot do this’ regarding just about everything. It might apply to doing the godly thing, doing the right thing, doing anything right, saying the God-honoring words, saying the right words and thinking the right thoughts. It happens all through the day from making breakfast to supper, writing, answering mail, and even merely breathing. It isn’t every day that I feel so helpless but happens in enough of them that I know where my power comes from. It is as Paul said, “In Him we live and move and have our being” and “He (God) gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.” Without Jesus, I can do nothing.

It is not fun being weak, whether the task involves Christian serving, or behaving in Christ-like ways, or doing regular chores, or even taking every breath. Most of the time, this is not about physical weakness, like the breathing part, but about the sense of inadequacy that drives me to prayer. Even though I do not like this reality, knowing it puts me in good company — as the Apostle Paul wrote . . .

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7–10)

Tozer responds to this by pointing out that the blessings of God are not reserved for some future and heavenly age, but that His people can meet God and His Spirit in blessed reality now. We can know and commune with Him now. We can experience Him in weakness if we call out to Him for His grace and power.

Do most Christians do that? Most of us tell ourselves (and our children and friends) “You can do it” with the hope that God will help us through whatever we think we cannot do — but that is not quite right. Behind those encouraging words is an effort to boost self-confidence rather than total reliance on Jesus Christ. As Paul discovered, we only know the power of God when we can say, “I cannot do this” rather than “Please help me do this.” Yet this helplessness is avoided — because it is no fun feeling helpless.

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Lord Jesus, when You were in Gethsemane, we could not hear all Your prayers, yet it seems to me that You were feeling unable, willing but helpless, overcome by the task at hand and relying on the power of the Holy Spirit to bring You through. You sweat blood resisting the thought that “I can do this” so that we could experience the same helplessness and reliance as we face the inabilities You ask of us. Yet there is also joy in this. You knew and were sustained by the joy set before You. Paul knew that when he quit fighting with his weaknesses, he would experience Your strength and he was content with that, even able to boast gladly about his helplessness! How unlike most of us, how unlike me — who would rather exalt my power, even exalt in Your power in me — rather than find joy in being weak.