A toxic relationship?

There is a person in my life who acts as a friend, but something is off. This person talks in contradictions, makes statements that are later denied, agrees with the need of the world for Jesus, then turns around and talks about the joy she gets from her off-base versions of God. She has lofty dreams that are not grounded in reality and talks of the sun in worship terms. If these and other examples were sole, they might be explained, but the pile up has become scary. She is unpredictable and does not listen to my concerns for her.

I confronted some of these issues as gently as I could. After a couple weeks of silence, I saw her yesterday at the grocery store. She talked as if she didn’t hear anything I’d said and is still in denial about her need for help. This morning, I asked the Lord what my attitude should be

Now Lord, what am I supposed to do? I’ve asked for Your input and this is the passage for today:

“If a prophet or a dreamer of dreams arises among you and gives you a sign or a wonder, and the sign or wonder that he tells you comes to pass, and if he says, ‘Let us go after other gods,’ which you have not known, ‘and let us serve them,’ you shall not listen to the words of that prophet or that dreamer of dreams. For the Lord your God is testing you, to know whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. You shall walk after the Lord your God and fear him and keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold fast to him. But that prophet or that dreamer of dreams shall be put to death, because he has taught rebellion against the Lord your God . . .  So you shall purge the evil from your midst.” (Deuteronomy 13:1–5)

In context of my life, this passage is startling. I know I’m not to listen to the prattling about ‘other gods’ but never realized this relationship could be a test of my love for Jesus. In my desire to walk with Him, He is warning me not to let this person drag me down. While I’ve not at all abandoned Jesus, I have felt depressed in my spirit. In the past two weeks of separation from her, my emotions and ability to hear and focus on the Lord have greatly improved.

The other startling thing is the judgment of God toward false teachers who try to lead His people astray. He wants them put to death! In the time of this passage, God’s law prevailed. Today, civil law says NO to a death sentence for false teachers, but God’s judgment has not changed. His people are to avoid and not listen to anyone who speaks lofty ideas that fail to honor Him.

I’d been thinking that this person is not good to be around and how her demands on my time have replaced far healthier relationships. While seeing positive change in her would be wonderful, so far all I have seen is a rise in me of distrust, negativity, and a desire to spend time with others who are transparent, honest, and not faking their emotions. I cannot literally put someone to death, but I can purge or remove them from my calendar.

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Lord, this is difficult. I want to be a positive influence, not a victim of people who use me up. I’m thinking this is Your answer to my prayer, but You know how I want to be certain. The enemy could be stirring the pot because he doesn’t want my input into her life. If that is true, bless me with conviction and power. If not, show me what to say or do next. I’m trusting You.

Simple answer to a major problem

A few years ago, our daughter said, “I finally figured out what is the matter with this crazy world; everyone is totally selfish!” We agreed with her sage observation, as does the Word of God.

Tozer does too. He begins today’s devotional with describing true Christianity as dealing with “the problem of the self-life, with the basic matter of ‘me, myself and I.’” The reason for these statements is found in God’s description of sin:

“All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6)

Without intervention, everyone goes their own way. For some, this does not seem too bad. For others it becomes serious to the point of destructive behavior. In either extreme, God’s solution was to lay that sin and selfishness in His Son Jesus Christ and set us free from the tyranny of self.

Now, as a Christian, I must live that out. Instead of being bound in my own way, God has set me free to serve Him. Yet living righteously has its challenges, most of them being old habits and the pride of thinking I know what to do and how to think — without asking God or relying on the Spirit of God. Self is still a problem, but as Tozer writes, “This selfish I cannot live if God is to be glorified in this human life.”

“But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification. For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:17–23)

God gave me Jesus as the solution. He also restored my ability to choose. Before Christ, I was a slave to sin and self. With Christ, I can choose how I will live, knowing that God has no interest or support for that old way of life. In it is the “essence of rebellion and disobedience and unbelief.” My pride of me, myself and I is anti-God and very sinful.

Jesus told us to take up our cross daily. Many interpret this cross as something nasty in our lives that we need to tolerate, forgetting that a cross is a place of death. His words are better understood as dying daily to that old life and living in the power of my new life. I need to, yet I cannot do this without Him.

Yesterday, I was filled with joy and singing in my heart through the day. At one point, I thought that I didn’t want this to stop, but was acutely aware that if I started enjoying the joy instead of enjoying my Savior, that joy would elude me. Joy is a by-product, not a goal.

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Jesus, You are the goal. When my heart and mind are taken up with You, then the slavery of sin is not even casting a shadow. Yet I know that I cannot make this happen; it is a result of Your grace and the work of the Holy Spirit. My part is to take up that cross and remember that self and sin died there, with You and forever. Alleluia what a Savior!

   

The challenge of sales

Christian salespeople must often be between a rock and a hard place. At least, in my observations and imagination, they have two choices when approaching a customer, particularly another Christian. The sales person must decide what to base his appeal on: the human and fleshy need for bigger, better, more or the spiritual reality of being a good steward and seeking the mind of God in making a good decision.

Obviously the second option will not appeal to someone who is not trusting the Lord. They don’t see the Lord as giver of all nor feel any obligation to seek and follow His will. Sadly, a non-believing person cannot call upon the Lord anyway, at least without the power of the Holy Spirit behind his request:

Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says “Jesus is accursed!” and no one can say “Jesus is Lord” except in the Holy Spirit. (1 Corinthians 12:3)

This quandary is easier for most others. A pastor’s task is to present the Gospel and describe how to live it out. Other believers can do the same, considering the hearers and their needs. But a salesperson is trying to make a living. If he appeals to the flesh, he sets foot in the camp of the enemy. It he tries to appeal to the spiritual side of things and the Spirit is not in that customer, he needs great skill to help his listener understand wise choices — at the same time risking the loss of a sale.

Tozer writes, “I think that one of the most hopeless tasks in the world is that of trying to create some love for Christ our Savior among those who refuse and deny that there is a need for a definite spiritual experience of Jesus Christ” in their lives.

I’ve noticed that many Christians do this in varying ways. We want people who do not know God to go to church where we gather to worship Him. Such people usually need to hear the Gospel and be saved before they even want to do that. As today’s verse says, no one can say that Jesus is Lord unless the Holy Spirit enables him through spiritual life and experience. As Tozer says, the enemies of God may love Him for what they imagine Him to be, but the real friends of God love Him for who and what He is.

I’m not a good sales person. I’m also a hard sell in that I need to discover all I want to know rather than have it pushed on me. I need to remember that others may feel the same and respect their desire to not be pushed by a sales pitch. At the same time, God expects me to share the Gospel. For that, I need grace!

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Lord, today my prayers include those Christians who are in sales. They need wisdom in their presentations and grace from You to avoid putting one foot in their faith and the other one in the ways of the world. However, all of Your people need grace to share the good news of the Gospel with everyone, trusting Your Spirit to grant them the ability to believe it.