So who is not limping?

And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the people of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh that is on the hip socket, because he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip on the sinew of the thigh. (Genesis 32:24–32)

Jacob, the believing heir to God’s promises, continually tried to get there in his own strength and ideas. He was a strong, self-confident, clever and self-sufficient person, who was sure he could do anything. 

God had to break his human strength and wisdom so that He might give him divine strength and wisdom. Even in losing this wrestling match, he still hung on for a blessing, knowing he was now utterly helpless without the healing, quickening, protecting power of his Master. This sense of total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with God. As Paul later wrote: 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9–10)

Jacob also knew that God would bless his ernest pleas in his helplessness. Even as the wrenched tendons and muscles of his strongest body part healed, he was left with a limp that revealed God had overcome his self-will. This was vital and even many years later, the people would not eat that part, showing the impact of this event.

Therefore, to this day, all who yield to the One who calls us have a limp. We cannot live the Christian lives in our own strength. I chuckle at those who say our faith is a crutch — of course it is — for who of us is not limping? And if we are not, then God is yet to be encountered.

Jesus, my self-will is a sneaking and persistent hindrance to fully trusting You. I try to do all the right things, think the best thoughts, and yet it is only when I admit my utter helplessness that You come to my aid. Even during this sickness, I’ve learned much about the bane of thinking I can do this, but I cannot. I need You for everything, every moment, and must always be willing to admit that I still limp.

Leaving the answers with God

 

There are two kinds of spiritual battles. One is a battle in prayer against the lies and purposes of my enemy the devil. The other is wrestling against God over something He wants and I don’t. The first is a battle of faith for the right ends. The second is a battle of “not Your will, but mine” which is contrary to faith and to my heart that trusts God to desire the best for me.

This second war is not always about a lack of faith. I know the power of God and that He can do all things, and I am not doubting that; I just don’t want the tough stuff. I have a friend who is very old, very sick and I do not want her to die, yet when I pray I know that I must trust God to do His perfect will in her life. He knows the best time to take her home; I don’t. This is just a small spat. There are others that are filled with turmoil. Again, these disagreements with God are not about doubts but about the I-wants that seem contrary to what He is doing. I trust His judgement but at times do not like it.

Concerning this wrestling match, today’s reading brings up the example of Jacob.

And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the people of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh that is on the hip socket, because he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip on the sinew of the thigh. (Genesis 32:24–32)

Jacob’s victory was not in wrestling but in becoming weak to the point that he was unable to continue. It was not Jacob who wrestled with the angel but the angel who wrestled with Jacob. Jacob was the one to be overcome. When the angel found that Jacob’s resistance was so great that he could not prevail against him, he was obliged to make him lame by putting his hip out of joint. Then the victory was won. Jacob gained power when he lost it; he conquered when he could no longer fight.

I can relate to this. The Lord wrestles with me to bring me to entire dependence on Him. I resist until I feel totally helpless and have to give up. As much as I am stubborn and hate to lose, He is teaching me what has become a very important lesson:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9–10)

 PRAY: Yielding to Your will has shown up as a bonus in so many ways. This move is only one. In surrendering my I-wants, You keep surprising me with better than I could have imagined. This brings to mind all the prayer requests that I make in deep conviction that the only possible answer is what I come up with — and many times praying seems like a wrestling match with You, not with the enemy and not putting my desires on the mat. You remind me again that giving up isn’t about ceasing to want You to act, but about ceasing to insist that the answers fit with my ideas of what You should do. In other words, I don’t need to let go of You, but only need to ask for a blessing and be totally surprised at what You do about the burdens on my heart.

The problem with the world is . . .

Some time ago, one of my adult children said, “Mom, I finally figured out what is wrong with the world — everyone is selfish.” She nailed it. Jesus implied it also, not directly but when He offered the cure to take care of a problem, He was obviously thinking of selfishness:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”(John 12:24-26)

Living a fruitful life that pleases God and is helpful to others requires death, a denial of self. Jesus calls selfishness ‘loving his life’ — a phrase that is loaded with meaning. We might call it “Looking out for number one” or “taking care of me first.” Sometimes it shows up blatantly. Sometimes it is more subtle.

Subtle is illustrated by the woman who said to me, “I love helping other people because it makes me feel so good.” At that I sarcastically thought, ‘Would you do it if it didn’t feel good?’ But I am not so cynical now. I’ve also done the ‘helping others to make me feel good’ thing. It is a ‘politically correct’ way to express my selfishness. Another one is to simply ignore the needs around me, or just pray for them without doing anything. Selfishness can look nice.

Sacrificial service can feel good too, but often does not. Whatever is done for others with even the best of motives, some of them, or at least the extremely selfish people out there are never satisfied. They want bigger, better, or more and are not content or thankful for what they have. That doesn’t feel good. I recognize both sides for I can be like both.

Jesus was not like that, not selfish and not double-minded about personal sacrifice. As the day of His death approached, He knew it was coming. He prayed:

“Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.”

Then a voice came from heaven: “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.”

The crowd that stood there and heard it said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.”

Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not mine. Now is the judgment of this world; now will the ruler of this world be cast out. And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.”

He said this to show by what kind of death he was going to die. (John 12:24–33)

Jesus knew He had to be lifted up on a cross to die even as He asked the Father to spare Him. His great purpose was to glorify God and that took priority. He gave up all that might have stood in the way of this main goal, including His right to life. His attitude was as far from selfish as it could be, and because of His willingness to make that ultimate sacrifice, the world has never been the same.

In practical terms, what does it mean to “hate” my life in this world? To die to self? To follow Jesus in service? The Greek word is intense dislike, aversion. Perhaps Jesus uses this word to give no wiggle room for me to be preoccupied with ‘my life’ rather than being concerned for others. However, there are biblical grounds to take care of me. Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

This verse broad because of its context. Taking care of my own interests cannot be an excuse for selfishness:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3–8)

 In other words, I’m responsible for my home, family, work, and so on, but not to the point that it becomes self-serving. Even in taking care of my own interests, I’m still required to be an obedient servant of God, concerned for His glory and the needs of others.

Today I wrestle with prayer. It is for my own good, but that cannot be my reason for praying. It is for the good of others even as it draws me closer to God. However, prayer is hard work and my whole being selfishly whines for something easier, or at least easier prayer. It would be easier to read some prayers rather than speaking from my heart. God does not allow that excuse either. What I want is not the issue. I’m to listen and talk to God. Period.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lord Jesus, I can write easier than talk, do anything easier than talk. Prayer is hard. Hear what I must say today. And grant me the energy, grace, and right attitude to be selfless rather than selfish when I do it.

Win by losing

Israel lamented that they had disobeyed God from the beginning and throughout their history. They declared, “Let us lie down in our shame, and let our dishonor cover us. For we have sinned against the Lord our God, we and our fathers, from our youth even to this day, and we have not obeyed the voice of the Lord our God.” (Jeremiah 3:25)
 

The older I get and the more I understand the will of God, the more I realize that I am no different than they were. I’ve been guilty of bad attitudes, unkind thoughts and words, and selfish deeds, and I have fought those things. Some of these wars were short and easily won. Others have taken years to conquer. Yet in the winning, there is no recall of the foe or the battle, for such is the grace of God. He keeps me moving through life, not dwelling on the former things or the shame of them.

Right now, my concern is those sinful issues that seem to stick like crazy glue. Perhaps the reason for their tenacity is that I’m fighting some of them in the wrong arena. Like Oswald Chambers says, the battle against sin is lost or won in the secret places of the will before God, never first in the external world. I cannot wait until the temptations come before engaging in the battle.

If you return, O Israel, declares the Lord, to me you should return. If you remove your detestable things from my presence, and do not waver, and if you swear, ‘As the Lord lives,’ in truth, in justice, and in righteousness, then nations shall bless themselves in him, and in him shall they glory. (Jeremiah 4:1–2)

Israel could not defeat their enemies unless their hearts were right with God. This is as true for me as it was for them. When the Spirit of the Lord convicts me of sin, then I need to get alone with God and realize how I have been opposing Him. The battle is always first with God and until I yield to Him, I will lose all other battles.

In those wrestling matches with God, my resistance involves: not trusting Him, thinking that I know better than He does (how silly), and putting up some kind of substitute (idol) to take His place, if not me, then another person, plan, or ideal. The battle may take one minute or a year, but that depends on me, not Him. He is patient and holds on to me just as He did in the wrestling match with Jacob (Genesis 32:22-32). Like Jacob, I need to cry “Uncle” and yield.

When that renunciation happens, then nothing has power over me, but if I wait until I get into the tempting or testing circumstance and think I will trust God there, I cannot. It does not work that way. I must get the issue settled between myself and God in the secret places of my heart. Then I will be certain the battle is won regardless of when or how I will be tested. If I do not yield first to God in that secret battle, then disaster and calamity are certain.

Chambers says that every now and again, not often, but sometimes, God brings His people to a point of climax, a Great Divide in life. From that point we either slide downward into a procrastinated and useless type of Christian life, or move upward into a life that is increasingly set on the glory of God. He did that with Jacob who yielded and from that point on, walked with a limp. But he also glorified God with a different attitude and new strength gained by losing that wrestling match with the Lord.

Be still . . .

A rancher living not far from my childhood home raised palomino horses, not a breed, but known for their beautiful color. When foals were born, he would daily hold them in his arms until they stopped struggling. He did this to teach them a valuable lesson. Our prairie landscape was marked with barbed wire fences. Horses who wandered into loose wires would fight until they were gravely wounded. But not those palomino foals. They learned that if held by anything, they should relax and not fight.

From these verses, today’s devotional writer draws a similar idea. It is about our God being near, never giving up on His people, always holding us and teaching us . . .

And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for ‘In him we live and move and have our being’ . . .  (Acts 17:26–28)

God may not always seem near. If I study my own spiritual life, there are great expanses of time when I didn’t sense the presence of God. He didn’t “feel” close. Of course, those times now seemed marked by me continually hindering Him — by my ignorance, stubbornness, and sinful attitudes and actions. Yet He never gave up. He has kept working on me, shaping me into what He wants.

The devotional writer invites me to think back over my life. Do I remember being restless, unhappy with myself, dreaming of heights I never reached, trying things my experience said was impossible, haunted by longings, even having two sets of standards about right and wrong, one I kept for observers and the other hidden because I was more than half ashamed of? He says to think then of how all of my struggles correspond to being surrounded by an unseen God? He is right; my life was God-haunted until I gave myself to Christ, something like the brain of a sleeper haunted by the daylight until she opens her eyes and gives herself to the morning.

The writer offers another analogy, this time a beast tangled in a net and resisting the kind hands that try to unsnarl it to freedom. The beast writhes and struggles, twisting itself into a more inextricable snarl, but finally catches on, that these kind hands are there to help, so it finally lies still while those hands unbind it.

Be still, and know that I am God . . . (Psalm 46:10)

I remember the palomino foals. They learned not to struggle. Some of them may have even learned how certain movements would help the kind hands that embraced them. When tangled in sin, God wants to set me free. He also wants me to cooperate.

Now I can see the reasons behind those struggles of the past and rejoice in them, and even feel joy concerning more current trials and hindrances. They are allowed by God’s loving hands. He teaches me to stop struggling and learn the way to freedom — it comes by resting quietly in His care.

Losing to Win

One news channel focused all day on the incredible devastation in Calgary, Canmore, High River and surrounding areas. Most of High River is under water. Some were rescued from flood waters with helicopters and boats. I received word about 6:30 pm last night that my family is safe. 

As I wrote those words, my sister called. They were taken from their home (with her husband’s dialysis equipment) in a large front-end loader to a fire truck. The truck took them to a boat and the boat took them to a jeep and then to higher ground. Their house already had a foot and a half of water in the basement, but they were rescued. Today, they are saying…

The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. (Psalm 46:7)

Today’s devotional reading focuses on the significance of God being the God of Jacob. His experience is our experience. He was a sinner, even a schemer from the get-go, but God had other plans. In great patience, He worked in this man’s life until that well-known wrestling match when God met with him and crippled him. With strong crying and tears he said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me” (Genesis 32:26). 

This is easily misinterpreted, as if Jacob wrestled with God and overcame him. However, this voice was choked with sorrow. Jacob was beaten and crippled. His stubborn heart finally went down beneath the pressure of God’s mysterious power. Yet this man won when he was beaten. Jacob triumphed when he yielded. God never left him alone until by crippling him, He broke his resistance and changed him forever.

I’ve been conscious of my weakness, of the evil within that baffles, beats, and spoils me. I’ve fought with God and know that we only win that battle by losing it.

I would not be shocked if many caught in this horrendous flood went through that experience. The God that controls life and breath, the wind and the rain, not only wrestles with their resistance, but this “God of Jacob” deeply intends that He also becomes their refuge.

Jacob’s pillow was a hard, unsympathetic stone. Sometimes God uses tough situations to get our attention. In Jacob’s case, God opened the heavens so that His hosts taught this man that the One who is with him is more than anything that came against him.

God also puts His hands on our lives. He may defeat and wound us, but the wounding is only for a deeper healing. May all that are under His hand this week find that He also is their stronghold, their salvation.

My sister said they are with friends in a large farmhouse. Four other families are there too. Their hostess has a table that seats twenty and could not understand why people kept bringing them food all last week, but she now is feeding a host. The hand of God provided before the need arose!

God’s people know how the God of Jacob wrestles and wins. We also know that in the winning, we lose — and yet by the losing we win for in yielding to Him, He becomes our fortress and our strength. By His grace, we learn to trust Him because He never gives up until we do.