A mom until I die?

Deuteronomy 11; Psalms 95–96; Isaiah 39; Revelation 9

My dad often said about his hard work, “It’s only right to wear out the old stuff first.” He was smiling because he loved his work, but also poking at us for wanting to goof off instead of keeping up with him. I wonder if he got this notion from this passage from the Bible. It begins with:

“You shall therefore love the Lord your God and keep his charge, his statutes, his rules, and his commandments always. And consider today (since I am not speaking to your children who have not known or seen it), consider the discipline of the Lord your God, his greatness, his mighty hand and his outstretched arm, his signs and his deeds that he did . . . .” (Deuteronomy 11:1–7)

The rest of it goes on to remind the people of God of their experiences. They had been saved from bondage, taken out of that place and led to the promised land. They learned, often the hard way, of the power of God and the importance of doing what He said. But He was not speaking to their children!

My devotional guide gives reasons for making this generational distinction. One, the older generation should be quick to obey, because of their many opportunities to learn. I hear Him say that I should not fret about my adult children’s limited experience with God because He says I am the one with no excuse, no reason to slack off. God has blessed me immensely and I’m responsible to give back to Him my complete devotion.

Second, this passage clearly makes the older generation responsible to systematically pass on what they have learned. I think about my dad teaching me how to do things, like using copper rivets to fix a broken rein on my horse’s bridle. I learned from him as a child, but now God expects me to teach my children what He taught me. This is a prime responsibility, but does it ever stop?

Third, in this passage God makes it clear that the blessing of His covenant includes the entire lives of His people, not family alone but their land and work. His blessings had a great deal to do with being quick to obey. Those who are mature must pass along to the next generation what God taught them. This isn’t about copper rivets.

This is a challenge because the older I get, the older my children get. They often know more than I do! Yet this does not negate my responsibility to share with them the wonder of God’s love and care. I like the words of the psalmist in today’s readings. He gives me ideas of how I can do that:

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker! For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts . . . .” (Psalm 95:1–8)

I felt a small warning in Isaiah’s words to one of the ancient kings, also a parent:

Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, “Hear the word of the Lord of hosts: Behold, the days are coming, when all that is in your house, and that which your fathers have stored up till this day, shall be carried to Babylon. Nothing shall be left, says the Lord. And some of your own sons, who will come from you, whom you will father, shall be taken away, and they shall be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.” Then Hezekiah said to Isaiah, “The word of the Lord that you have spoken is good.” For he thought, “There will be peace and security in my days.” (Isaiah 39:5–8)

The challenge is to avoid Hezekiah’s selfishness, thinking only of my own comfort without any concern for the future of my family. Hezekiah disappoints me and God. I don’t want to do that.

APPLY: I always pray for my kids and their kids and our grandkids yet must also be willing to use whatever opportunities the Lord gives me to pass on what He has taught me. I need help with this because they seem so capable without my help. Also, in my flesh can be ‘preachy’ — a big turn-off, or just too cowardly to say anything at all. Lord, as always, grant me the grace to listen and be obedient to You.

 

 

Knowing the truth is good, but not always good enough

2 Samuel 13:1–39, 2 Peter 1:9–15, Psalm 140:1–13

Many parents have a difficult time rebuking and correcting their children. How can it be done when a spanking has become “child abuse” for little ones, and the older the child, the more difficult to confront or control their bad behavior?

David’s family was large. He had several wives and several children. Because he was the king, he had his hands full with those responsibilities. Not much is said about his relationship with his children when they were small, but the problems they had as adults indicated that he may have missed some areas in their education and in his relationship with them.

It is said that a parent’s weaknesses are multiplied in at least some of their children. For instance, if I have not learned to control a bad temper, I should not be surprised that at least one of my children will have the same problem.

David’s sons had problems that seem related to his problems. For example, “Absalom had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David’s son, loved her. And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.” (2 Samuel 13:1–2)

One of Amnon’s cousins came up with a scheme. Amnon was able to get Tamar alone and then raped her. Immediately, his lust turned to hatred and he put her out of his house to a life of shame. In the meantime, Absalom plotted revenge and waited two years, eventually killing his half-brother, Amnon. Then he fled, which indicates that he at least feared what his father might do. However, David mourned for Absalom and he did all he could to bring him back home.

Dysfunctional is today’s word for all this. I’m wondering if the biblical word might be disobedience. Parents are to discipline their children. Scripture is full of instances where father’s failed to do this and the results were always catastrophic.

However, adult children are also responsible for their own choices. For members of God’s family, either under the OT covenant or under the new covenant of faith and new life in Jesus Christ, we are told to work at it. We cannot work FOR salvation, but those who are God’s children have responsibilities. We are supposed to obey God, for our own good and the good of our families.

Parents are to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. If those children grow and become part of the family of God through faith, they are told also to “make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.” (2 Peter 1:5–7)

The next verses warn about failure. Those with genuine saving faith will not lose their eternal life, but “whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.” (2 Peter 1:9–10)

Peter, whether he had children or not, realized the importance of teaching how to make good choices and why. He said, “And I will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able at any time to recall these things.” (2 Peter 1:15) He didn’t want the people in the family of God to fall.

David may have tried to teach his sons also, and they would not listen. Either way, they needed to hear the truth about cause and effect, disobedience and consequences. Like Peter, David’s attitude and teaching needed to be diligent, not looking the other way or being ignorant about what was happening in his family.

David wrote many words about goodness and evil, about God’s attitude toward unrighteous behavior, words like: “Let not the slanderer be established in the land; let evil hunt down the violent man speedily! I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and will execute justice for the needy. Surely the righteous shall give thanks to your name; the upright shall dwell in your presence.” (Psalm 140:11–13)

He knew the truth, but as I’ve also learned, just knowing it is not enough. I must do what God says to conquer my determined sinful desire to ignore what I know and follow the temptations that are so eager to lure me away from total faith in Jesus Christ.

Biblical Connections

1 Chronicles 26:1–27:34, 2 Timothy 4:1–8, Psalm 89:23–52

When David passed the kingdom to his son Solomon, he organized every aspect. He put someone in charge of all roles and activities. The Bible lists their names: priests, musicians, gatekeepers, officials, the military, tribes, and even who tilled the soil, cared for the vineyards, wine cellars, olive and sycamore trees, the oil, all herds, camels, donkeys, and sheep.

One detail catches my eye. It stands in contrast to an important part of OT culture: the place of the firstborn in each family. The verse says: “And Hosah, of the sons of Merari, had sons: Shimri the chief (for though he was not the firstborn, his father made him chief) . . . .” (1 Chronicles 26:10)

Not very often did the rights of the firstborn go to anyone other than the oldest son, so I did some investigating. The name ‘Shimri’ means vigilant. I could not find the names of Hosah’s other sons, but this father was a gate keeper who guarded entrance to the temple. He would have to be a man of discernment in order to be in that role.

No doubt his discernment extended to his family. My guess is that he could see that Shimri had the qualities that fit leadership and warranted being made chief. Perhaps the brother who had actually been born before him was not nearly so qualified, not only for the position of ‘chief’ but the privilege of being the ‘firstborn.’

Firstborn sons often inherited a double portion and were honored in other ways, but the most significant is that they were considered as ‘belonging to God.’ Because of Hosah’s position as gatekeeper, he opened the temple gates only to those who belonged there. Perhaps Hosah could see that Shimri was a man strong of faith and the older brother was not. Whatever the reason, this father made his son the firstborn rather than his older brother.

This reminds me of the verse in Proverbs that tells parents to raise up children according to their bent, their abilities and giftedness. They even choose names for them that wound up describing their character. If that was the case in this family, it makes sense for this father to give a vigilant offspring a role of responsibility over a son who might have good qualities but not that of leadership.

Today’s NT reading is Paul’s exhortation to Timothy. Other verses indicate that Timothy needed this encouragement. He was criticized for being too young, and was also a timid man. Yet Paul saw beyond these realities to a greater one; the Lord God had gifted Timothy to be a pastor, so he must fulfill that gifting . . .  

“I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.” (2 Timothy 4:1–2) Paul built up Timothy because he could see this young man’s potential.

My children are adults. All three have professed faith in Christ and all three have strong convictions about justice and fairness, even though they have different gifts. Recognizing their gifts, their ‘bent’ and the desires of their hearts is as important now as it was when they were growing up. Like all people, they need encouragement.

The reading from the psalms goes back to the firstborn. This time it is about David, but this is a messianic psalm in that it speaks of the king in terms that fit the Messiah, Jesus Christ. Near the end, it says, “He shall cry to me, ‘You are my Father, my God, and the Rock of my salvation.’ And I will make him the firstborn, the highest of the kings of the earth. My steadfast love I will keep for him forever, and my covenant will stand firm for him. I will establish his offspring forever and his throne as the days of the heavens.” (Psalm 89:26–29)

David, like Shimri, was made the firstborn even though he was the youngest brother. God blessed him, even called him a man after His own heart. Yet veiled in this Psalm filled with encouragement are signposts pointing to a greater reality to come, a King greater than David with a throne that will last for eternity.

The Messiah, Jesus Christ, did not need to be ‘made’ the firstborn for He is the only begotten Son of God. He is the vigilant one, the gatekeeper, the judge of the living and the dead, the great preacher and teacher, our best exhorter, the one who gifts us and urges us to serve Him with those gifts. His love is our love, and because of the covenant in His blood, I am established for eternity.

What a blessing to see connections in the Word of God!

But . . . you promised . . .

Child specialists say that trust develops when we are about two years old. If betrayal happens in those early years, trusting anyone later, including God, becomes more difficult. This is why “But dad, you promised” are such sad words. Parents need to keep their promises.

One important reason is that children form their ideas about God from how they perceive their parents. My mom and dad were loving, kind, and spoiled me. I have no problem believing in the lovingkindness of God, but it was a shock to find out that He would not grant everything I asked for. However, I could trust my parents so trusting God has not been as difficult for me as it is for some.

Those who have abusive parents, or have been abandoned, or betrayed, or unloved have a difficult time believing that God will never leave them, will always take care of them and will always love them. In their minds, the father image mars the Father image.

Today’s verses are about the promises God makes to His people and His reliability in giving us what we need to escape the destructive power of sin.

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. (2 Peter 1:3–4)

Spurgeon uses a word picture to explain the best way to experience God’s promises. He says to think of them as like grapes in a winepress that when treaded upon, the juice flows. Meditating on those promises, dwelling on God’s words, is often the prelude to their fulfilment.

This happened to me yesterday. I was reading this same passage. It says that I must add perseverance to my faith — that I can do so because of God’s promises. As I thought about it and the situation I was in that required perseverance, the promise was fulfilled. My burden was lifted as God supplied the patient endurance I needed.

An important part of thinking about these promises is remembering who made them. The Bible is the very words of God. As Spurgeon says, if I were dealing with the promises of an ordinary person, I would consider the ability and character of that person before believing the promises. In the same way, I must consider the God who makes the promises in the Bible. Sometimes I think about the impossibility (or so it seems) of the promise itself, but when I think about the One who made it, I am encouraged. This is God speaking, the One who created all things by His Word. Anyone who can speak a universe into existence will not find anything impossible nor would He make impossible promises.

He also cannot lie. I am convinced that His Word is as true as the fact of His existence. He is unchangeable and His Word does not alter, nor does He say, “Oops, forget that I said that.”

God is wise and knows the best time and place to fulfill His promises. He knows when I need them fulfilled and when I need to grow in faith by trusting Him even if nothing seems to be happening. This is no mere mortal who might fail, but God who never fails.

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Lord, many of Your promises are about my growth in Christlikeness. Some are about physical care or spiritual healing. Some include answers to prayer. Whatever You promise, You are the reason I can depend on that promise. Even if feelings of doubt rise in me, You remain faithful. Your promises are not about my ability to trust or even remember what You say. They are about You and Your total reliability. I will never need to say to You, “But Father, You promised.”

To Live is Christ — having a perfect Father

Sometimes I feel like a bratty child before God. Best intentions aside, I fall into stinkin’ thinkin,’ or say mean and unkind words, or do something that I should not have done. The sense of God’s presence at those times is something like realizing my mother just came into the room as I put my hand in the cookie jar.

My parents rarely disciplined me though. My doctor told them I would not live long because of a childhood disease. I’m sure that came to mind whenever I acted up. They were merciful because my days were numbered.

Obviously their fears were never realized. Both lived to see me grow up, marry, have children and grandchildren. As I look back, I may have made them worry on many occasions, but their lack of strong discipline didn’t result in a monster. Instead, because they were so kind and loved me so much, I had respect for them. That respect kept me out of much trouble.

Today I’m missing both of them, but also giving thanks that my parents modeled the love of God toward me. Reading these verses reminds me so much of them.

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust. (Psalm 103:8–14, ESV)

My parents were like that, merciful and gracious, slow to anger, great to offer compassion. The only thing they could not do was remove my sins from me. The reason is simple; no one can take away the sins of others or even their own sins. No matter the goodness of my parents, they passed on to me the same inclination to sin as they received from their parents. Going up the family tree all the way to Adam, all are sinners.

I know that I was born with a determination to have my own way. No one taught me that. It comes from my sinful nature. I was raised to do good, but deep in my heart I knew that my goodness was not enough. I learned in Sunday school and church that God is holy. His standard is far above mine, and He cannot tolerate sin.

My parents did the best that any parents could do, but again, they could not remove my sin. For that, I needed God and the sacrifice of His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Because of the Lord’s mercy, I rejoice in knowing His forgiveness and grace. Because of His mercy, I am also deeply grateful that He gave me such loving parents.