Ego Problems?

When I was a child, a severe illness kept me either in a hospital bed or at home. My siblings struggled with the amount of attention that I received. I don’t remember flaunting it over them. I was not yet in my teens, but knowing human nature, I may have.

The human ego usually loves to be the center of attention. It proclaims importance, even power. Children soon discover ways to get mom and dad to look at them, to think they are cute or smart. If that does not work, the child might work harder. We watched a television show last night where a young woman ran out of ideas to impress her parents. Rather than failing, she tried to take her own life. That got their attention.

Recent news stories tell of celebrities who invented stories that put them in the news. We call those publicity stunts, all about attention-getting. Some may do it to improve their ratings, yet it is usually an ego thing.

This morning I started taking another look at the fourth Gospel. It was written by John the apostle, son of Zebedee and brother of James. As one of the Twelve, he was close to Jesus. That alone would build a person’s ego, but John took another tactic. He downplayed his role in the story and did not overuse the word “I” to draw attention to his role. He usually identifies himself as the beloved disciple, not that he was lovable but that Jesus loved Him despite of his shortcomings. He downplayed himself by anonymous references rather than directly saying that he was there, or was involved.

After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus’ side, so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, “Lord, who is it?” (John 13:21–25)

Most people would say something like, “I was there when Jesus told the rest of us who would betray Him” but John tried to be invisible. Jesus was always the focus of his attention.

Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple. Since that disciple was known to the high priest, he entered with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest, but Peter stood outside at the door. So the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to the servant girl who kept watch at the door, and brought Peter in. (John 18:15-16)

After Jesus was arrested, John tells how he and Peter got closer to the action. He could have told his readers that “we got in because I personally was known by the high priest” but he didn’t boast about his reputation to an important religious leader. Again, he deliberately backed away from building his own ego.

Another incident provided opportunity for this disciple to demonstrate his relationship to Jesus and show off its importance. Jesus was on the cross about to die for the sins of the world . . .

When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. (John 19:26–27)

I can hear the words, “I got to take care of the mother of God’s only begotten Son” but that is not what John said. Again, he moved into the background. The focus is the heart of Jesus who provided care for His mother. It is not about John.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Jesus, these short incidents remind me that my life is not about me. Following and serving You is about bringing You glory. I am nothing, You are everything. As I try to deal with an ego that loves attention, keep reminding me that . . .

“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” (Revelation 4:11)

And that all that I have is because of You . . . I have this treasure in a jar of clay to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to me. (2 Corinthians 4:7)