Yesterday my heart specialist changed my meds. He also
told me to lie down for a while in the morning after taking one of those pills
because it works better that way.
This was a challenging discipline for me. I feel good most
mornings and want to be up and moving. However, I did what the doctor said and
as usual, the Word of God from today’s devotional fit with the situation.
Tozer writes that I cannot know how weak and useless I am
until God exposes me. Of course, I don’t want to be exposed, but God knows it
is for my good. He also knows the right time to do it.
It happened to Peter, a bold fisherman. He easily claimed,
“Let everyone else run away, but I will always stand by. You can count on me,
Master!”
He was shocked when Jesus said, “Before the rooster crows
tonight you will say three times that you do not know me!” (Matthew 26:33–34.)
Peter didn’t know his own instability, but God knew how this man stood in his
own strength and often trusted himself.
David was also guilty. He was Israel’s beloved king, but
he stayed home when he should have went to war. He saw a married woman he
should not have been looking at, took her, made her pregnant. Then he plotted
to fix the problem and eventually arranged the death of her husband. After all
this, God exposed him. He prayed:
“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” (Psalm 51:7–12)
Tozer says many Christians refuse to admit the truth when
God exposes to us our instability, our habitual trust in our own virtues. God
must teach us to distrust ourselves so we will rely totally on Him. As I read
this Scripture and Tozer’s words, God showed me that I’ve trusted my own
strength — quite literally. That is, my confidence has been my health, my
ability to not be sick — one cold in over a decade, no flu in decades.
I’ve also been critical of those who constantly pray for
their own health and the health of others. Isn’t our spiritual health more
important? But now I understand. We cling to our own health for it may be the
very last ‘strength’ that has not been exposed. We cannot trust our own wisdom,
emotions, education, niceness, and a host of other things. But how many say: “As
long as I have my health . . .”
Tozer says “We must
pass sentence upon our sinful heart and give God the right to cleanse it.”
This is what David did in his prayer. This is what Peter did when he wept
bitterly. This is what I must do also.
^^^^^^^
Jesus, You have brought me through many trials and exposed
my sinfulness over and over. I never once thought this desire for good health
could have the wrong motivation, but You have exposed it. I’ve believed that
trusting You and serving You depends on being healthy. This is clearly not
true. Forgive my selfishness and restore to me the grace of
faith-no-matter-what. Your power is perfected in weakness, even the weakness of
a heart that does not properly do its job. Staying here in weakness may not be Your
plan. It could be the beginning of my journey to the door of eternity.
Nevertheless, renew a right spirit in me. Restore the joy of salvation and
grant me the ability to yield to whatever You are doing in my life.
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