Is forgetting good? Or not?

Mother’s Day included dinner at our daughter’s house with one son, several calls from the other one, and a game of Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture. Pop culture has not been a great interest of mine, so I wasn’t surprised that I couldn’t remember much or even grasp the idea behind some of the questions. We had fun and team play saved me from being totally skunked.

What bothered me regarding memories were a couple of incidents described by my family that I could not remember. They were long ago (35-40 years) but not trivial. I should have been able to recall them, but my mind was blank. One story included a mild accusation, but I could not deny it, defend myself, or apologize because I had no idea what they were talking about. This is upsetting.

This morning, my devotions are still in those verses in Philippians where Paul is talking about his past and his present efforts to become a mature Christian. He says,

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead . . . (Philippians 3:13)

I know what he means and why he says this. He doesn’t want anything to keep him from growing, from being like Jesus. I know that every time I fail, the memories of it could cause me to focus on my poor performance and pull me down. That focus keeps me from moving forward. While I know that I need to confess sin and apologize to others my sin might involve, I’m not to let that failure hang on me like a ball and chain.

I also know that I cannot let success do the same. Resting on my laurels keeps me from growing and changing. I’m so busy patting myself on the back that I trip over the next things that come up. I can rest in Christ, but when I rest on a success, it can rapidly turn into a plateau and a parking lot.

My commentary says that Paul could not obliterate the past from his memory, but the idea is to move on and not park in it. He refused to let his past obstruct his progress toward his goal. This included his self-righteous, worldly successes (in verses 4–7), but because he used the present tense for forgetting, this indicates an ongoing process. He didn’t want to rest on his current successes in Christ either. The verb about reaching forward means “fully extended” and is used to describe a race horse stretched to its limits as it strains to win a race.

I’m still a bit upset that I could not remember the childhood things my family talked about yesterday. I’m also unsure if I should say I’m sorry about the one thing they thought that I had done that they didn’t like when I cannot even remember doing it. Is their memory reliable, or were these childhood impressions based on the limited knowledge of a child?

However, this verse from Philippians encourages me. Not all “forgetting” is distressing. God tells me (through Paul) that it is a good idea to put the past behind and forget about many things. Instead of parking there, I’m to press on toward my goal. I might need to do something in this instance (God will show me), but I ought to be thankful that the past is one ball and chain that I’m not inclined to carry around.