There is value in forgetting

 

The wife of a family member described his dementia: “He clearly remembers seventy years ago but cannot remember five minutes ago.” Of course this results in communication problems and frustration for both of them.

I just read a long description of how God brings “dry bones” to life again. This prophetic vision is recorded in Ezekiel and has various interpretations. After the assurance of new life, the prophet describes God’s hatred of sin and the judgment it merits. The writer says “we almost cringe at the thought of our own faults and the memory of our failings. But then we read God’s summary, in the last paragraph. There, nestled in verses that express the compassion God will show when judgment is past”…

They shall forget their shame and all the treachery they have practiced against me, when they dwell securely in their land with none to make them afraid. (Ezekiel 39:26)

This author goes on to say: “What a wonderful promise! Yes, we’re weak. We stumble, and sometimes fall. And then what a burden of shame and guilt we bear. But God promises that when we see Him, when we truly ‘know that I am the LORD’ and no shred of memory of our sins will remain to mar our joy.”

I thought of the memories of dementia, usually good experiences and shared without complaint. But I also wonder if some of them are coming to mind because they involve sin that was neglected to confess and God is giving His people a second chance to clear the slate and have those sins cleared out of memory. Those who read these posts know how much I value this verse to spiritual growth and well-being:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

I’ve noted that dementia involves the frustration of being unable to do things that once were easy. Many who suffer from memory loss are angry and often lash out blaming others for their problems instead of taking personal responsibility for their own behavior. One author writes about how the Holy Spirit, indwelling dementia sufferers who are Christian or not, is able to speak to their sin and enable change, It’s encouraging to realize that even with severe memory loss, our lives can change. 

Could it be that those who only remembering the past are experiencing a gracious gift from the Lord? Would this help them deal with sinful attitudes that were pushed aside or excused in the busyness of life? Do those memories come back for the purpose of confession and repentance? I’ve never heard this before, and my memory loss is mostly mild inattention. If this theory amounts to nothing, one lesson from the dry bones story is that forgiven still means forgotten! Even now I can put my past behind me, and live in joy. I can also not worry about memory loss for the Lord is still the Lord.

PRAY: Jesus, perhaps those who struggle with onsetting forgetfulness are receiving a taste of eternity. There You will put even the old memories into the ‘forgotten’ category. However, You will not leave our minds blank and unable. You already have given us the joy of focusing on You in worship and adoration. You also tell us to “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind” and with that mind we will be able to discern Your good and acceptable and perfect will. (Romans 12:2) By the power of the Holy Spirit, may all who struggle with memory loss rejoice that it could merely be a foretaste of this great blessing to come.

Sinful reflections?

 

When sin entered the world, its form took being like God in knowing good and evil. This means having the ability to decide what is right and what is wrong. It is sin because it threw the human race into making our own decisions about everything — rather than relying on God to guide us.

Of course sin takes many forms. It can be severe if it involves the right or wrong of robbing a bank, cheating on income tax, gossiping about a neighbor, retaliating against a person who slanders me, and so on. But it can also be subtle, such as sharing a story that makes me look better than I am, or patting myself on the back for doing well after God blesses my actions, or berating myself for making a mistake instead of confessing the error and being forgiven.

Today’s devotional is about those last two: lifting up myself for obeying God, or beating myself up with regret after a failure. Both are self-centered and both keep me from moving on. The reading quotes from an unnamed book: “Never indulge, at the close of an action, in any self-reflective acts of any kind, whether of self-congratulation or of self-despair. Forget the things that are behind, the moment they are past, leaving them with God.”

Since I often ‘indulge’ self-reflection at both ends of that spectrum, this is something to consider. The NT says this about how to think about the past:

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained. (Philippians 3:8–16)

Paul did not dwell on the past, good or bad. He thanked God for His salvation, put all past accomplishments on the garbage heap because they had no value in his relationship with God, and pressed on. He forgot the past and developed an eternal perspective, considering the goal of becoming like Jesus as the most important way to think. He knew that all sins were forgiven, and that all successes were because of Jesus, not his own doing. His mind was not occupied with regret or with self-congratulations.

This temptation comes to pastors and all those who serve Christ. The devotional author stresses the need to refuse to indulge in such reflections and instead turn from them at once and refuse to think about our work at all, leaving it with the Lord to overrule the mistakes and to bless it as He chooses. I agree. How much time and energy have I wasted in “I should have…” or “That worked well…” thoughts instead of “What’s next, Lord?”

PRAY: Jesus, Monday is a good day to start fresh. Please grant me not only forgiveness for selfish thinking after Your blessings on what happens, but also for regrets in missing opportunities by wasting valuable time in all self-centered thinking. Far better to be praising You, talking with You, and thinking about the needs of others.

The past, the future, and right now . . . .

The last day of a year prompts evaluation of the past, hope for the New Year, and thoughtful consideration of both in the light of today. Chambers selected a small bit of a larger passage that is also about the past, the future, and decisions to be made in the present.

The scene points to the people of God who had been exiled into Babylon due to their disobedience. They now detested the idols they once served and were ready to recommit their lives to faithfully follow the Lord. Isaiah the prophet speaks to their situation with these words:

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.” The voice of your watchmen—they lift up their voice; together they sing for joy; for eye to eye they see the return of the Lord to Zion. Break forth together into singing, you waste places of Jerusalem, for the Lord has comforted his people; he has redeemed Jerusalem. The Lord has bared his holy arm before the eyes of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God. Depart, depart, go out from there; touch no unclean thing; go out from the midst of her; purify yourselves, you who bear the vessels of the Lord. For you shall not go out in haste, and you shall not go in flight, for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard. (Isaiah 52:7–12)

The good news was that they were now redeemed from captivity. It was so exciting that even the feet of the messenger appeared beautiful! Now they could return to Zion and those who had waited for this news were singing for joy. God’s people were both comforted and excited.

I can relate to this. It seems that my Christian life is a series of lessons in which I fail, God lets me try my own way — which puts me into a captivity to my own foolishness — then as I realize my folly, He sets me free to return to the joy of serving Him. Some of these lessons are very short, but a few of them cover weeks and even months where I’ve spun my wheels before lamenting and discovering that God still waits for me to wake up and repent. He will set me free when I’m ready to acknowledge that He reigns — and I no longer am the boss of my own life.

As the Jewish people celebrated their release and freedom, God wanted them to know that what was happening to them would be a message to the world about His power to save. He told them to go out of that place using similar words of the time when He told them to leave the bondage of Egypt. Only this time, there were not to take any plunder, or flee in a hurry. Their victory was certain so they did not need to rush, but they must purify themselves and take only those things which belonged to God.

One writer says, “There is more to be left behind than Babylon; there is the whole ambience of worldliness and estrangement from God that it represents.” Their physical leaving points to a pilgrimage away from sin and selfishness, from falling into immoral behavior and depending on their own ideas. This release marked a new beginning, not unlike their release from Egypt, but deeper and with greater impact.

I can relate to this too. When I was first saved, my deliverance was similar to their flight from Egypt. For me it is an image or depiction of being redeemed from the bondage of sin. God allowed me to bring something of that old life into the new, but only that I might realize how it would trip me up. He wanted me to learn how to rely only on Him and He did it by letting me find out that only He is reliable and worthy of my dependence.

He also taught these deeper things through my wanderings in the wilderness, and used my stubborn resistance to Him to take me places I did not want to be. This is His way of testing and affirming whether or not I would leave my own ways and be fully yielded to Him.

Finally, the Jews were also told that God would go before them and behind them. He would cover the past and take care of whatever happened then, but also be ahead of them to guide them in their renewed life.

Of course this is always the way of God. He never leaves or forsakes His people. He covers my past sin and guides me through the mazes of life. This is also good news.

There is a difference between God’s people of Isaiah’s time and my experience with Him today; the difference is Jesus. They looked forward in faith, which may have been more difficult than looking back and seeing the life, death and resurrection of my Lord and Savior. Yet all must learn the very same truth: faith in Him covers past mistakes, future uncertainties, and today’s desires. I can both celebrate the past and look forward to the future. I can also plan for this day knowing that without Him, I can do nothing, but with Christ I can do all things.

Remembering and forgetting

We went to a hockey game tonight. Our team from home defeated the team here where we are on vacation by scoring a goal in the last 21 seconds of the game. Probably a third of the fans were on their feet cheering. The rest of them looked like they wanted to simply forget the whole evening.

Cheering for a favorite team is easy. Forgetting a defeat isn’t quite as simple. God wants me to cheer and rejoice in the victories that He gives, and forget all the times I’ve fallen and failed, because those are forgiven and covered by the blood of Christ. 

I will recount the steadfast love of the LORD, the praises of the LORD, according to all that the LORD has granted us, and the great goodness to the house of Israel that he has granted them according to his compassion, according to the abundance of his steadfast love. (Isaiah 63:7)

On the way home, I thought about some of the good things that God has given me in the past few weeks. It brought joy to my heart. Tonight, my devotional reading is also about remembering the goodness of God and challenged me to recount some of them . . . 

I can remember the holy hour when Jesus walked into my life. You revealed who He is and made me Your child. Because of Your grace and saving power, that was the most significant day of my life.

I remember also several major victories over major sins, sins that I wanted to shake but could not do by myself. I cried out to You and You took them from me, snapping the chains and setting me free.

I can remember a time of great physical pain and You gave me such joy that the pain was nothing by comparison. I can also remember a long period of great emotional pain. You came to my side and cried with me, then bore me through it — as a father carries his hurting child.

There was a time when I was so poor that I could not pay a major bill and You provided unexpected funds from an unexpected source. There have been many occasions where I needed wisdom or ideas or just endurance, and You have never let me down.

The Bible tells me to remember all Your goodness, but it also tells me to forget “what lies behind” that I might press on toward the goal You have for me. 

One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13–14)

I used to tease my father about his selective hearing, and now see that You desire that I have “selective” remembering and “selective” forgetting. I’m not to remember that bad stuff and dwell on my failures. I’m not to forget Your great power and goodness. Instead, I’m to be selective — like You are selective with Your remembering and forgetting.

Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O LORD! (Psalm 25:6–7)

How grateful I am that You forget my sins and instead remember mercy and love. Thank You so much for remembering me. Tonight, I’m also thankful that pressing on toward the goal includes both forgetting the past, yet not forgetting the history of You in my life.

Is forgetting good? Or not?

Mother’s Day included dinner at our daughter’s house with one son, several calls from the other one, and a game of Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture. Pop culture has not been a great interest of mine, so I wasn’t surprised that I couldn’t remember much or even grasp the idea behind some of the questions. We had fun and team play saved me from being totally skunked.

What bothered me regarding memories were a couple of incidents described by my family that I could not remember. They were long ago (35-40 years) but not trivial. I should have been able to recall them, but my mind was blank. One story included a mild accusation, but I could not deny it, defend myself, or apologize because I had no idea what they were talking about. This is upsetting.

This morning, my devotions are still in those verses in Philippians where Paul is talking about his past and his present efforts to become a mature Christian. He says,

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead . . . (Philippians 3:13)

I know what he means and why he says this. He doesn’t want anything to keep him from growing, from being like Jesus. I know that every time I fail, the memories of it could cause me to focus on my poor performance and pull me down. That focus keeps me from moving forward. While I know that I need to confess sin and apologize to others my sin might involve, I’m not to let that failure hang on me like a ball and chain.

I also know that I cannot let success do the same. Resting on my laurels keeps me from growing and changing. I’m so busy patting myself on the back that I trip over the next things that come up. I can rest in Christ, but when I rest on a success, it can rapidly turn into a plateau and a parking lot.

My commentary says that Paul could not obliterate the past from his memory, but the idea is to move on and not park in it. He refused to let his past obstruct his progress toward his goal. This included his self-righteous, worldly successes (in verses 4–7), but because he used the present tense for forgetting, this indicates an ongoing process. He didn’t want to rest on his current successes in Christ either. The verb about reaching forward means “fully extended” and is used to describe a race horse stretched to its limits as it strains to win a race.

I’m still a bit upset that I could not remember the childhood things my family talked about yesterday. I’m also unsure if I should say I’m sorry about the one thing they thought that I had done that they didn’t like when I cannot even remember doing it. Is their memory reliable, or were these childhood impressions based on the limited knowledge of a child?

However, this verse from Philippians encourages me. Not all “forgetting” is distressing. God tells me (through Paul) that it is a good idea to put the past behind and forget about many things. Instead of parking there, I’m to press on toward my goal. I might need to do something in this instance (God will show me), but I ought to be thankful that the past is one ball and chain that I’m not inclined to carry around.

Eat and Exercise

“If only . . . ”

Sentiments vary from person to person, but for me the saddest words are expressions of regret. If I were not a believer in Jesus Christ, and if He had not taught me what to do with them, my regrets would pull me into deepest despair. The words in today’s devotional guide have that potential.

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

It is one thing to learn and have the Word of God in my own heart, but I often regret that I was not mature enough or obedient enough to teach them to my children as I should have when they were small. I probably did it more than I can remember, but this is a big regret for me, particularly when they seem uninterested in what God has to say.

However, I’m encouraged when I think of my mother. We watched her read her Bible every day, and three out of four of her children follow her good example. The fourth one reminds me that even though parents can do what they should do, it is not always effective in the lives of our children. They still make their own choices.

God also helps me with the reminders that my walk with Christ is about daily faithfulness. He produces the results; I am simply supposed to do what He asks of me. In other words, I cannot measure my obedience by the outcome in the lives of others. After all, God is the perfect parent yet His children fall short every day. It began with those first two whom He placed in a perfect environment, cared for perfectly, and had with them a perfect fellowship, but they still did their own thing.

I’m also encouraged by the apostle Paul. He wrote about his past to the church in Philippi and said none of his accomplishments mattered, never mind his failures. The important thing was that he knew Christ and deeply desired to live in partnership with Him, sharing in His life and even in His suffering. He wanted to be mature. Then he says;

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. . . . (Philippians 3:12-13)

The point is that I cannot waste my energies on regrets about the past (or rest on any laurels). God wants me to spend time in His Word every day so I can press on. I’ve long ago learned that going to church on Sunday to hear a message and then hoping that it is enough to last for the whole week is like eating dinner on Sunday and expecting it to sustain me until the following Sunday. I need to feed on the Word of God every day. How else can I grow? His food makes me healthy and strong.

I’ve also learned that when I share with others what I have learned, those lessons are more deeply embedded in my own life. I’m not sure why it works like that. Maybe it is as food: eat and exercise, eat and exercise. However God does it, when I “eat and share” I know that even if the listeners do not “get it” God still blesses me for taking the opportunities that He gives to tell others what He is teaching me.