I hate waiting

I took a vacation from prayer this past two days. I know that seems unwise, but I was exhausted from the work of it. It also seemed that the more I prayed the more the enemy was attacking me with doubts and fears. I wanted to pull back and regroup (which is what prayer is supposed to be—duh).

Sunday’s church service refreshed me, even though the sermon was a strong exhortation about listening to the Word of God and obeying it. What helped me the most was a short conversation afterward with a missionary home from Africa. Among other things she said, “I can handle ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ but what I have trouble with is when God says ‘wait.’”

After thinking about it, I’ve been wanting answers to my prayers so these intense burdens would go away and I could get on to ‘normal’ life. No waiting. Pretty selfish. The ‘normal life’ of a Christian involves prayer. It is not only a commandment, but my lifeline.

Today: “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith” (1 John 5:3-4, NKJV).

God loves me so much that He involves Himself in my life. Like any good parent, He gives me commands to obey that are for my own good. Prayer is only one of them. By obeying His commands, I am victorious over the pressures of living in a sinful world.

He says His commands are not burdensome. Obviously, what makes them seem difficult is something I’ve added. My first clue is that desire for a ‘normal’ life, a life that ‘frees’ me to do what I want to do instead of what God gives me. The Bible is clear—sin is simply going our own way, doing our own thing.

Wanting to do my own thing is a form of resisting God. Wanting to be done with prayer so I can do my own thing is also resisting God. And I know any wrestling match with my Creator will prove who is the strongest; it is not me. How could I forget that prayer involves confession of sin as well as intercession? And that prayer is not fighting with God but surrender? No wonder I’ve been getting tired.