Already too preoccupied with self?

Today’s devotional reading calls for self-examination, but it could be one that the Word of God does not recommend. The verses are about the patriarch of our faith, Abraham, of whom the Scripture says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness.” (Romans 4:3)

These are the days of the years of Abraham’s life, 175 years. Abraham breathed his last and died in a good old age, an old man and full of years, and was gathered to his people. (Genesis 25:7–8)

The devotional writer points to him being “full of years” and offers a picture of the scaffolding used for buildings. He says the moments and days and years of our earthly lives are scaffolding, then asks what am I building inside it? He says that I need to evaluate whet kind of a structure will be left when the scaffolding is knocked away. Am I building that which eternity cannot take away—a character built upon the love of God in Christ, and molded into His likeness? Does my life have this completeness?

My first thought was, “How do I decide that? If I say yes, I know pride hovers nearby. If I say no, despair and turning inward can easily happen.” Then I remembered what Paul wrote:

Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful. But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God. (1 Corinthians 4:2–5)

For a Christian, self-evaluation is a risky thing. Besides the danger of pride or self-pity, it alters the direction of my focus. I’m supposed to keep my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1–2)

Self-examination also runs the risk of taking over the role of the Holy Spirit. While He lives in me and expresses Himself in my thoughts, the flesh (sinful, selfish nature) can also offer its opinions. Better to let the Word of God and the Holy Spirit tell me what is being built, or not, in my life. He is very efficient and effective at convicting me of sin and correcting errors.

All that said, the Bible tells me that Jesus lives in me. I’m to let Him express His life by loving and obeying God and sharing His love with others. If I take too much time examining me, then at best, it becomes a distracted navel-gazing. At worst, I’m again focused on me, myself, and I, instead of looking to Jesus who already is the structure that will remain when the scaffolding is gone.

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This morning I rejoice in a simple truth: Jesus is at the core of my life. He is making me into the person He wants me to be, a person that allows Him to direct and control the process. While I try to obey Him and do my best, at the end of my life, He will still be my life. When I step into glory, I will be like Him for I will see Him as He is (1 John 3:1-3). For now, Lord, keep my eyes on You, not the scaffolding (which is shaky and not at all reliable). May I never think that I’m doing much of anything or that I’m a failure. You are the Savior and the Builder. Faith says to trust and obey You, not being anxious or self-focused about the results.

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Building blocks . . . or a pile of rubble?

One concern that burdens my heart is trying to do the Lord’s work my way instead of His. I so easily rely on my own reasoning about what makes sense. I also fall into the rut of what is familiar rather than listening for His direction and willingly move as He leads me.

Our church is in the midst of an evaluation. Godly people came in and used surveys, discussion groups, interviews, etc. to ascertain our strengths and weaknesses. Then they offered a prescription for change and growth. These recommendations are based on biblical principles. However, we need to be careful. What happens in my life can also happen in a church. We can rely on our own reasoning. We can fall into the rut of “we always do it this way” instead of seeking the face of God and being willing to go in new directions. 

If you make me an altar of stone, you shall not build it of hewn stones, for if you wield your tool on it you profane it. (Exodus 20:25)

When the Lord gave direction for a place of worship, He told His people to use stones that were untouched by human skill or workmanship. This is a prefigure, even a warning against us using our own plans in an effort to build our church. This is not about a building but the Body of Christ and how we function.

Spurgeon says, “Human wisdom delights to trim and arrange the doctrines of the cross into a system more artificial and more congenial with the depraved tastes of fallen nature. However, instead of improving the gospel, carnal wisdom pollutes it until it becomes another gospel and not the truth of God at all.”

Doctrinal truth is not to be messed with, but that is only one way we can rely on our own devices. Churches desire to grow, but some come up with very human ideas of how to make that happen. I’ve heard of one that offered free ice cream to children who came to Sunday school. Any gimmicks or such bribes are hewn stones.

Churches need what is called a “good governance model” these days, yet instead of going to the Bible for it, they look to business and modern management principles. Sometimes secular consultants are hired to create structures that supposedly will benefit the church. These also are hewn stones.

Other ideas abound. Make the church a place of entertainment. Use music and art to delight people. Put new people without faith into positions of leadership. Appeal to felt needs. How easily we can saw those stones, wielding our tools of reasoned appeal. We carve what looks nice and works to suit us. We attract people with what makes them feel good, a form of emotional manipulation. All of this falls short of Jesus’ plan.

His wisdom is that we have His heart and attitude. We are to care about each other and those around us, tell people what He has done for them, and let Him change their hearts. Those whose lives have been touched by the love, mercy and grace of Jesus Christ want to be with others who have had the same experience. Then those unhewn stones tumble together to build a temple for God, the Body of Christ. This temple is not always as neat and pretty as a building with sawn blocks, but God makes it fit together and can create from it a holy thing.

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit. (Ephesians 2:19–22)

Again, it may not look “pretty” in the eyes of the world, but when God does the work, we become what we need to be to do His work. 

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 2:4–5)

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Lord, I know that I reason too much and have too many of my own ideas. I want neatly cut blocks, not a bunch of lumpy and uncut stones, but Your plan is not like mine. It is simple and I must obey You. All of us must follow Your blueprint, not rewrite it to suit our own desires. I pray today that our church, Your church, will not be the work of our own hands. Even though we must labor, may our efforts be in obedience to the truths You reveal to us. Let us not rely on our own devices or methods. What You give us may seem as rough, unhewn stones, yet only these are fit to build a church that honors and pleases You.

Looking to Jesus

During the last week, our church experienced an extensive evaluation. A qualified team came in and through observation, interviews, workshops, discussion and a great deal of prayer, discerned our strengths and areas of need. Then they presented a biblical prescription for change.

This was a good experience. We are encouraged by affirmation of what we do well and agree that the list of weaknesses hit the mark. Now we must move forward and correct those things so we can build on our strengths.

This process is a big part of what is also needed in personal growth. As a Christian, I need to identify what I do right, what I do wrong, and how to fix it. However, for this evaluation it is never wise to depend on my own judgment. I need outside help, specifically the Word of God . . . 

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16–17)

This morning, as I’m thinking about the power of the written Word to identify and correct my life, my devotional reading points to the power of the Living Word, Jesus Christ. He must be my focus because I cannot change without Him.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1–2, italics mine)

Looking to Jesus isn’t as easy as it sounds. The Holy Spirit can turn my eyes away from myself, but keeping my eyes on Christ is a battle. My spiritual enemy tries to keep my focus on me. He does it by pointing at my strengths and telling me I am not needy or sinful. He boosts pride, pats my back and encourages self-righteousness.

Sometimes he does the opposite and points at my weaknesses. He suggests that my sins are too bad for God to forgive, or that my doubts wipe out my faith, or that I will never be like Jesus because I am too lazy or too selfish or too tired. One way or another, by praise or condemnation, his goal is to keep me looking within so I am not looking at Jesus.

Spurgeon reminds me that “Christ is all in all.”  It is not looking at Christ that saves me — it is Christ. It is not my joy in Christ that saves me — it is Christ. Actually, even though faith is the instrument, it is not even faith in Christ that saves me — it is Christ and His blood shed for my sin. He is my hope and the object of my faith. I cannot focus even on hope or on faith, but on Him,  the author and finisher of my faith.

Sometimes I get into this self-evaluation mode. I’m doing okay — I’m not doing okay. My teeter-totter tips back and forth as I see strengths and weaknesses, but both push me to that self-focus of pride or self-pity. As He takes my eyes off those things and looking at the cure, then I have less teetering. He replaces it with rest in my soul. It is always Jesus who fixes things, nothing that I do or do not do.

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Father, keep me looking at Jesus. Let His death, resurrection, goodness, glory and continual intercession be fresh on my mind. Put Him into my first thoughts when I wake up. Make Him my last thoughts when I drop off to sleep at night. Keep all my hopes, fears, plans, challenges, ideas and every other thing in their proper place as You make Jesus number One in all that I think and do.

To Live is Christ — obedience even if blindfolded

Today’s devotional reading asks a lot of questions about me and what I think God would say I put Him as a reference on my resume. Those questions seem to contradict the verse that prompted them. 

For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends. (2 Corinthians 10:18)

Self-evaluation has some importance. I need to see when I have sinned so that I know when to confess my sin. I need to understand my spiritual gifts so I know where I fit in the ministry of our church. I need to know my abilities so that I avoid things too great for me, and know my fears and how I procrastinate so I will move out at the command of God without letting those things stop me.

However, this verse essentially says that patting myself on the back is futile and evaluating what I do is also folly. I’ve said things I thought were powerful, but those words had no effect on anything but my ego. I’ve said things in weakness and trembling, and was later informed that those were life-changing words for someone that heard them. How can I evaluate me?

Can anyone really know what God will do with a life that belongs to Him? Who am I to understand how He works? I’m supposed to obey Him. Whatever He asks of me may not seem as if it has any value at all, yet even when it does, He might not let me see the results or that value.

I’m a goal-oriented person. I like to see fruit from my efforts. Flailing away in the dark is not for me, but God doesn’t have to give His servants eyes to see the plan behind His commands or the reason He gives them.

Faith is about trusting Him when I can see and when I cannot. To live is Christ means that I obey my heavenly Father when I sense He is with me and using me, but also when He seems far away and I have no clue why He asked me to do this or that. Obedience is not about reasons or results, but about knowing that He knows what He is doing. 

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