Uninvited guests

A devastating and uninvited dream woke me this morning. From this dream, I had the impression that God was pushing me to deal with an issue that I keep pushing aside. 

As I read today’s devotional, I wondered if that was what was happening when the prophet Daniel was a slave in Babylon. He had become known for interpreting dreams and played an important role in the lives of the three heads of state who ruled while he was alive. 

The second of the three, King Belshazzar, “made a great feast for a thousand of his lords and drank wine in front of the thousand.” (Daniel 5:1) During the course of the evening, an uninvited guest appeared in the form of a human hand that wrote on the wall. The king was terrified. Daniel was brought in to determine the meaning of this. It turned out to be bad news for this king. He refused to humble his heart and died that same night.  

Daniel was skilled at interpreting dreams and visions because God gave this ability to him. Over the years, most of my dreams have not required interpretation. They were silly mixed up reflections of being too busy (or as my dad used to say, eating too much pizza). Some cause me to wake up laughing. A few, like last night, cause me to wake up in great emotional distress. 

Those dreams are seldom about my own actions but about my reactions to what someone else is doing. While I can talk to that other person (either in the dream or in real time) I cannot make or manipulate a change in their lives. I can only deal with my own life. 

However for the most part, I don’t have much success changing myself either. I can want to change. I can decide to, determine to, make vows and promises, and try harder, but changes of that sort do not last. God (and life) convince me that only the Holy Spirit can work permanent changes. 

Yet that does not mean I can sit back and wait to be zapped. My responsibilities include…

… confessing sin. This is admitting I need change. (1 John 1:9)

… obeying where and when I can. (Philippians 2:12)

… prayer for grace and strength as I realize my weakness and inability. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

… being honest to others about my failures, needs, and fears. (James 5:16)

… saying no to temptation and sin. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Failure to do any of these things brings a crash. Sometimes I crash and hurt other people. If I push aside all that I can and should do, the very least it can do is give me bad dreams or cause someone else to have nightmares.

Looking to Jesus

During the last week, our church experienced an extensive evaluation. A qualified team came in and through observation, interviews, workshops, discussion and a great deal of prayer, discerned our strengths and areas of need. Then they presented a biblical prescription for change.

This was a good experience. We are encouraged by affirmation of what we do well and agree that the list of weaknesses hit the mark. Now we must move forward and correct those things so we can build on our strengths.

This process is a big part of what is also needed in personal growth. As a Christian, I need to identify what I do right, what I do wrong, and how to fix it. However, for this evaluation it is never wise to depend on my own judgment. I need outside help, specifically the Word of God . . . 

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16–17)

This morning, as I’m thinking about the power of the written Word to identify and correct my life, my devotional reading points to the power of the Living Word, Jesus Christ. He must be my focus because I cannot change without Him.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1–2, italics mine)

Looking to Jesus isn’t as easy as it sounds. The Holy Spirit can turn my eyes away from myself, but keeping my eyes on Christ is a battle. My spiritual enemy tries to keep my focus on me. He does it by pointing at my strengths and telling me I am not needy or sinful. He boosts pride, pats my back and encourages self-righteousness.

Sometimes he does the opposite and points at my weaknesses. He suggests that my sins are too bad for God to forgive, or that my doubts wipe out my faith, or that I will never be like Jesus because I am too lazy or too selfish or too tired. One way or another, by praise or condemnation, his goal is to keep me looking within so I am not looking at Jesus.

Spurgeon reminds me that “Christ is all in all.”  It is not looking at Christ that saves me — it is Christ. It is not my joy in Christ that saves me — it is Christ. Actually, even though faith is the instrument, it is not even faith in Christ that saves me — it is Christ and His blood shed for my sin. He is my hope and the object of my faith. I cannot focus even on hope or on faith, but on Him,  the author and finisher of my faith.

Sometimes I get into this self-evaluation mode. I’m doing okay — I’m not doing okay. My teeter-totter tips back and forth as I see strengths and weaknesses, but both push me to that self-focus of pride or self-pity. As He takes my eyes off those things and looking at the cure, then I have less teetering. He replaces it with rest in my soul. It is always Jesus who fixes things, nothing that I do or do not do.

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Father, keep me looking at Jesus. Let His death, resurrection, goodness, glory and continual intercession be fresh on my mind. Put Him into my first thoughts when I wake up. Make Him my last thoughts when I drop off to sleep at night. Keep all my hopes, fears, plans, challenges, ideas and every other thing in their proper place as You make Jesus number One in all that I think and do.