If you asked me, I would never say that I am trying to earn God’s favor, but why then do I get so upset with myself when I think I have failed Him? I’m not talking about sin, but performance.
Part of it is conditioning. In high school, my marks were high enough that my parents, teachers, and classmates expected it. If I didn’t get the grades they thought I should, they were openly surprised. Some of the other students teased me. I felt great pressure to perform then and sometimes still feel it today.
Part of it is wanting to please people. Getting a “well-done” from anyone is important, particularly to a self-esteem-threatened teenager. That desire persists into old age. Thinking negatively about my relationships might be all in my head, but I tend to do it and assume that no one cares. I’m the typical pessimist concerning what people think of me.
Part of it is pride. Doing well often results in praise, or some sort of peer appreciation. Being on a pedestal does have its pressures, but even with the pressure, I still like the glory.
All of it is self-absorption. As the author of “The Purpose Driven Life” says, the Christian life is not about me. The Apostle Paul knew this long before Rick Warren wrote that book. Paul even made a list of every credential that he had, then he said,
But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. (Philippians 3:7-11)
Being a Christian means that I not only know Jesus Christ, but also have His righteousness, His holiness, and His virtue imputed to me. This makes me right before God, not the stuff that I do. The Bible even says that all my righteousness is like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6).
In his life before Christ came in, Paul religiously tried to please God by strictly following the Law of God, but when Christ confronted him and he saw the reality of redemption, he traded all his self-righteous, external morals, good works, and religious rituals for the righteousness that is given by grace through faith in Jesus.
Paul then looked at his own reputation as garbage. He was eager to reach or gain the pure and incorruptible righteousness of Christ and make sure his standing before God. This is God’s gift to the sinner, God’s gift to me. I don’t need to prove myself.
While Christians sometimes say we have head knowledge rather than heart knowledge (meaning we know spiritual truth only intellectually), I think the opposite is more of a problem. My heart knows the truth about His imputed righteousness; I have it. However, that knowledge sometimes gets blocked from getting into my head and I still think like the old me.
Paul also wrote, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).
Paul knew the dangers of self-absorption and the need for a new heart. He also knew that the mind needs renewal too, even total transformation. Deep inside, I know that Jesus is my righteousness and that I cannot please God with anything I do. I know that my failures will never make me a write-off in His books, but because my head is too often swelled with personal pride or preoccupied with worldly junk like pedestals and human praise, I do not think or practice the truth that I know in my heart.
Abraham is called the father of faith, yet when God promised to give him and his wife a son and it wasn’t happening, he slept with Sarah’s maid so it would. How can he be called a man of faith? It seems that he did not trust God, at least in that instance.
Is faith a robotic condition where the heart says, “Yes, God” to everything, without any struggle? Can a Christian say he believes, but fail to act like it?
Of course. This is the struggle between flesh and spirit. I’ve had times in my life where what I believe in my heart and what I was doing in my emotions didn’t match up. God promises that he will take care of my needs, including finances. I believe the verse that says, “God shall supply all your need according to His riches” (Philippians 4:19), yet I have been anxious when financial troubles came my way. If I believe God, why does that happen?
My devotional reading today says that professing to believe what God has said is much easier than really trusting Him. Other Christians might say our faith can be firm in our heads but has not reached our hearts. When I think I believe God, but act as if I don’t when the tests come, I wonder what kind of faith I have. Is it real? Or am I just telling myself that I believe?
Abraham eventually got to the heart of things. He realized that “helping God” didn’t work, and that is an important lesson. If I ask God for anything, I must wait for Him to provide the answer. Unless He asks me to do something, I need to keep my mitts out of it.
Abraham learned that and as a result, his faith became solidified. The Bible says, “He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. And therefore ‘it was accounted to him for righteousness’” (Romans 4:20-22).
God is faithful as Abraham believed. He saw the proof of it when Isaac was born.
Perhaps the key to this faith from the heart is in that little phrase “giving glory to God.” In my flesh, I want to be able to say, “Look what I did.” When I fully trust God, I cannot say that. If I keep out of it and He provides all that I need, I must give Him the glory. I cannot share in any of it because I had nothing to do with the provision.
God also asks me to walk by faith, not by sight. My faith should be based on who He is, not on what I can see. At the same time, He also knows my frailties and knows that sometimes I need to “see” His faithfulness. He is so gracious! For instance, as He faithfully provides my financial needs, my anxiety about that is replaced with confidence. He has proven His promise and I do not need to worry.
The proper response to that provision is another matter. It is too easy to say “I trust God and do not worry” as if I had anything to do with it. This is the flesh again, trying to jump in and take some glory. However, the only correct response is, “Gods takes care of me and lifts my burdens, even the burden of worry. I am safe in His hands as He teaches me to trust Him with all my heart.”
Last week I was challenged to evaluate my faith between two extremes. At one end of the scale is legalism or living by rules and regulations, all head and no heart. At the other end is living by experiences, what feels right or seems the best thing, all heart and no head. Both extremes are dangerous because both can keep me from hearing what God says, either in my conscience or in His Word, and both can keep me from simply trusting Him.
Legalism says you have to keep certain rules, and do or don’t do certain things. The list usually includes more don’ts such as movies, dancing, drinking and so on. Some mock legalism with, “I don’t smoke; I don’t chew, and I don’t run with the girls who do” but this is not funny. If I go to this extreme, I miss hearing God. For instance, He might counter a legalistic idea and tell me to “eat and drink with sinners” like Jesus did.
The person who relies on their experiences and emotions falls into a different trap. This one is all about emotional perception. For instance, if I perceive that God is only love and sentiment without judgment, I could be tolerant of sin when I should cry out against it. Or if I think that hugs are all a person needs, I might neglect to give them some information that would help them solve their problem.
The early church had to balance things too. Many of these new Christians came from a background of idolatry. In that former life, they offered meat to idols, then cooked and served it at their table. For some, this meat was unclean and eating it was a terrible sin. For others, they knew the meat was nothing and the idols were nothing, because the Bible says so. While they also knew the evil power of demons behind idolatry, for them, eating the meat had nothing to do with demons so ate freely. To these extremes, Paul wrote the following:
I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men. Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense. It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak. Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin. (Romans 14:14-23)
As I read this, I’m hearing God say that legalism and the other extreme of living by the heart’s perception are not a matter of either/or but both/and. Sometimes a person’s conscience will condemn something that the Word of God does not condemn. Even though the Bible says it is okay to do it, this person does not feel that freedom, yet if they ignore their feelings and go ahead and do it, they have sinned. How can that be?
On the other hand, a person who has no sense of it being wrong (and the Bible agrees with their assessment), can do the same thing (in this case, eating the meat offered to idols) and does not sin. What is this? Is it situational ethics? What is the issue? Does God’s Word contradict His Spirit by saying one thing to the eyes that read and another to the heart that feels?
I remember hearing of a man whose idol was baseball. He loved it, indulged in it, went to all the games, spent a lot of money, ignored his family, etc. for this idol. Then he became a Christian and deeply aware that he had wrong priorities. He dropped this idol and began giving more attention to his family and making wiser use of his money. Then two men from his church invited him to a baseball game without knowing his prior problem. He was deeply offended. This story explains to me why God is so careful to allow those weak in faith to pay attention to their conscience. For that man, baseball was a sin even though for the other two it was not.
However, it doesn’t work the other way. That is, if I feel something is right and the Bible says it is not, no matter how I rationalize, the Word of God is my guide. I cannot break a clear command from God just because I feel like it or it seems okay, or my heart has no sense of wrongdoing.
I also cannot flaunt any freedom that I do have. The Bible does not condemn many things that Christians often do condemn. If I’m free to watch a television program, but someone else is drawn into sin by that program, then God wants me to turn off the TV. It is about loving others and not putting a stumbling block in their path.
The last line, “whatever is not from faith is sin” is the test. This is not about extremes but about the basis for my actions. God wants me to do things (or not) because I read His Word and hear His voice. From Him I might get a written ‘rule’ or He may offer a principle that puts in my heart a deep sense of what is right or wrong. Either way, to keep from sin I need to trust Him (not ‘rules’ or my fickle heart) and do what He says.