I cannot blame God. . . .

 

Last night a terrible dream combined the actions of two people I once trusted. Both harmed me and in the dream, my anger and desire to retaliate was loud and violent. I woke feeling as if I’d been clobbered. Why did friends betray me? Why was my anger so savage? Where was God?
In reading Charnock’s wonderful book about the attributes of God, I’m in a section on His holiness, particularly what happens when his people sin. Has God abandoned them?

Charnock points out that God is not the author of sin. He uses Scripture and an illustration to explain… If a man is riding a horse that loves to run and gives it the reins, or a huntsman takes all restraint off his hunting dog, both animals with go into motion and do what natural instinct drives them to do. They will run free.

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:13–15)

Grace provides a new nature that can say NO to temptation, but the test is: will His people say NO as well? I’ve at times felt that God withheld grace so I would realize the danger of saying YES to forbidden things.

As for those who do not have this new nature, Charnock illustrates by pointing to Exodus and how at times He is said to “harden Pharaoh’s heart” and also Pharaoh is said to “harden himself” yet in both, God leaves the man to his natural passion instead of influencing him to a different response. In either terminology, this man’s heart was hard by nature and God left him to it.

This author goes on to say that God is first deserted by man before man is deserted by God. This was true of Pharaoh who mocked God and His people even though the NT says: “The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.” (John 1:9) Pharaoh rejected what light he had and God left him to his own passions.

Charnock also says this:

Man’s not receiving or not improving what God gives, is the cause of God’s not giving further, or taking away his own, which before he had bestowed; this is so far from being repugnant to the holiness and righteousness of God, that it is rather a commendable act of his holiness and righteousness, as the rector of the world, not to let those gifts continue in the hand of a man who abuses them contrary to his glory.

And he goes on to point out that “who will blame the physician for deserting the patient, who rejects his counsel, will not follow his prescriptions” but tosses it off as nothing. The doctor cannot be blamed if that patient dies because the results are from the man’s own obstinacy.

I could never justly blame God for the consequences of my sin if I deny the supplies of grace He offers. At the same time, even if grace is withheld because of my bad attitude and refusal to trust Him, He winds up using even the consequences for good. This is amazing grace and to His glory! Nor can I charge Him with unholiness for that temporary withdrawing of grace because I never was due it in the first place.

How does this apply to my dream? First, I could see that my friends needed to become aware of the horrors of their old nature, as do i. I’m reminded of a time when the Lord said to me, “Would you rather have this happen in real life than in a dream?” And by that dream I could see the junk I would be living if I was not obedient and filled with His Spirit.

This dream also made me see that I’d brushed off their betrayals without grieving. The psalmists lamented their ugly situations before they praised God, praise that came from a settled heart. My dream brought back deeply hurtful situations, and for a while, I let myself again feel the horror of them. Then the Lord let me experience again the grace of being able to forgive the two others, and rejoice that I too am totally forgiven, not just for my reactions but also all that I have ever done against His will.

PRAY: What else is there to say but thank You, Jesus? You know how to humble and hug at the same time, and to help me say Hallelujah to Your holiness. If I got what I deserve, it would not be evil for You to leave me in my sin, but You give grace and mercy. For that, I am grateful and deeply desire to respond with love and obedience to all that You are and all that You are revealing to me.

Tested . . . again . . .

 

In my early years, I wanted to live in a big house. After moving more than thirty times, I’ve learned to be content wherever I am, or have thought so. This week I joked that if we were supposed to move again, God would have to provide a house.

Then we had a look at the “dream home” for this year’s children’s hospital lottery. It is perfect, even fully furnished and landscaped. I could imagine living in it. It was also weird because I heard the Lord saying, “Do you want this house? I could give it to you.”

At first it seemed that the devil was dangling this idea but knew it was the Holy Spirit speaking. Eventually I realized God was TESTING me to see if my earlier ambition was still lurking in my heart. We took our son and his wife back for a second look and the perfections of the house had not changed but my contentment with where I live was solidly in place.

It is not a shock that today’s word is about God testing His people. The OT word can be translated as “test, try, prove.” Common in the poetic and prophetic books, it mostly describes His testing of human hearts. Psalm 17:3 says, “You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night, you have tested me, and you will find nothing; I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress.”

Many verses speak of this, from God’s testing of Abraham’s faith when he was asked to sacrifice Isaac to the horrors that Job experienced but said in Job 23:10, “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.”

This word may have originated from how metals were refined — heated and the dross skimmed off until the refiner could see his reflection in the surface. Testing and other similar words are about proving one’s obedience or loyalty, especially in their relationship with God.

Deuteronomy 8:2–3 points out that Israel’s wilderness experience was a test to teach God’s people to depend on Him for more than food; He wanted their absolute loyalty to His every word.

“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”

Whether in OT times or under the new covenant, God’s plan is much the same as Zechariah 13:9 says:

“And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’ ”

The NT word means the same: “a critical examination of something to determine its genuineness.” Christians are told to test or examine ourselves and expect to be tested by fire (the situations of life that put us in hot water) “so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire — may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:7). We are continually told to discern or test the will of God.

Although God does not tempt us to sin, He does test our faith. I’m reminded of Moses. He was treated like royalty and yet when push came to shove, this man decided to go with God rather than enjoy his royal position:

Hebrews 11:23–27. By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw that the child was beautiful, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict. By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward. By faith he left Egypt, not being afraid of the anger of the king, for he endured as seeing him who is invisible.

GAZE INTO HIS GLORY. My test did not have the same implications, but God was checking me out. Did I want to have the fleeting pleasure of living in a ‘perfect’ place (the one I do live in is just fine, only smaller) or would I be content to let Him make all those decisions? I suppose we could win that big house, but the issue is not about a house but my heart. Being tested shows me where I am and what I am trusting, and I am thankful that it is Jesus, the One who is worthy — and not anything or anyone else.