I cannot blame God. . . .

 

Last night a terrible dream combined the actions of two people I once trusted. Both harmed me and in the dream, my anger and desire to retaliate was loud and violent. I woke feeling as if I’d been clobbered. Why did friends betray me? Why was my anger so savage? Where was God?
In reading Charnock’s wonderful book about the attributes of God, I’m in a section on His holiness, particularly what happens when his people sin. Has God abandoned them?

Charnock points out that God is not the author of sin. He uses Scripture and an illustration to explain… If a man is riding a horse that loves to run and gives it the reins, or a huntsman takes all restraint off his hunting dog, both animals with go into motion and do what natural instinct drives them to do. They will run free.

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:13–15)

Grace provides a new nature that can say NO to temptation, but the test is: will His people say NO as well? I’ve at times felt that God withheld grace so I would realize the danger of saying YES to forbidden things.

As for those who do not have this new nature, Charnock illustrates by pointing to Exodus and how at times He is said to “harden Pharaoh’s heart” and also Pharaoh is said to “harden himself” yet in both, God leaves the man to his natural passion instead of influencing him to a different response. In either terminology, this man’s heart was hard by nature and God left him to it.

This author goes on to say that God is first deserted by man before man is deserted by God. This was true of Pharaoh who mocked God and His people even though the NT says: “The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.” (John 1:9) Pharaoh rejected what light he had and God left him to his own passions.

Charnock also says this:

Man’s not receiving or not improving what God gives, is the cause of God’s not giving further, or taking away his own, which before he had bestowed; this is so far from being repugnant to the holiness and righteousness of God, that it is rather a commendable act of his holiness and righteousness, as the rector of the world, not to let those gifts continue in the hand of a man who abuses them contrary to his glory.

And he goes on to point out that “who will blame the physician for deserting the patient, who rejects his counsel, will not follow his prescriptions” but tosses it off as nothing. The doctor cannot be blamed if that patient dies because the results are from the man’s own obstinacy.

I could never justly blame God for the consequences of my sin if I deny the supplies of grace He offers. At the same time, even if grace is withheld because of my bad attitude and refusal to trust Him, He winds up using even the consequences for good. This is amazing grace and to His glory! Nor can I charge Him with unholiness for that temporary withdrawing of grace because I never was due it in the first place.

How does this apply to my dream? First, I could see that my friends needed to become aware of the horrors of their old nature, as do i. I’m reminded of a time when the Lord said to me, “Would you rather have this happen in real life than in a dream?” And by that dream I could see the junk I would be living if I was not obedient and filled with His Spirit.

This dream also made me see that I’d brushed off their betrayals without grieving. The psalmists lamented their ugly situations before they praised God, praise that came from a settled heart. My dream brought back deeply hurtful situations, and for a while, I let myself again feel the horror of them. Then the Lord let me experience again the grace of being able to forgive the two others, and rejoice that I too am totally forgiven, not just for my reactions but also all that I have ever done against His will.

PRAY: What else is there to say but thank You, Jesus? You know how to humble and hug at the same time, and to help me say Hallelujah to Your holiness. If I got what I deserve, it would not be evil for You to leave me in my sin, but You give grace and mercy. For that, I am grateful and deeply desire to respond with love and obedience to all that You are and all that You are revealing to me.