The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:20–25)In high school English, my teacher stressed looking for connections when the word “therefore” as used. It usually means “for that reason or consequently.” A few weeks ago, I read that it is used hundreds of times in Scripture, therefore is worth looking at.
In the above passage, the Word of God connects why and how God made woman, and what He intended as the consequence. In thinking about it, an internet image came to mind. It was a mare and her foal trotting together, in step, side by side, with the older horse guiding the younger one who came from her body. The harmony was lovely. She nurtured and guided the foal and the perfect youngster was growing and happy as they moved together.
This is not a perfect example because most people have trouble imagining marriage could look like that. And we are not horses. The bigger problem? In Genesis 3, sin came in. The results are described in one verse that she will desire her husband, but he will rule over her. Later God explained the struggle they would have with sin:
If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:7)Other translations clarify that sin is the desire to run our own lives our way and not God's way. That rules out being in step with our spouse and having the harmony described in the NT:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22–33)Even Christian women think “submission” is a bad word that robs her of her personhood, yet being a “helper” to her spouse is honorable. The only other used of that term calls God our helper. Wives travel in high and honorable company!
Not only that, after years of us each trying to do our own thing, hubby and I are moving closer to the “therefore” description — only because Jesus is at work and insists on no other attitude. The surprise is the joy and peace of harmony rather than each of us desiring to rule and have our own way.
Therefore, keep at it, Jesus. The more we love and obey You, the more we love and make sacrifices for each other. Your way is always better!