Faith Tested again…

All the congregation of the people of Israel moved on from the wilderness of Sin by stages, according to the commandment of the Lord, and camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink. Therefore the people quarreled with Moses and said, “Give us water to drink.” And Moses said to them, “Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you test the Lord?” But the people thirsted there for water, and the people grumbled against Moses and said, “Why did you bring us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?” So Moses cried to the Lord, “What shall I do with this people? They are almost ready to stone me.” And the Lord said to Moses, “Pass on before the people, taking with you some of the elders of Israel, and take in your hand the staff with which you struck the Nile, and go. Behold, I will stand before you there on the rock at Horeb, and you shall strike the rock, and water shall come out of it, and the people will drink.” And Moses did so, in the sight of the elders of Israel. And he called the name of the place Massah and Meribah, because of the quarreling of the people of Israel, and because they tested the Lord by saying, “Is the Lord among us or not?” (Exodus 17:1–7)

Life is filled with tests of faith. Will I trust God in this situation or myself? The above passage is about fear of dying that led to a quarrel because the people were not trusting God to care for them. My fear today was not about water or dying, just about what people might think of my lack of social skills. It is part of an ADHD/Autism thing.

Today a group of quilters arranged a trip to Ronald McDonald House. I didn’t want to go, not due to a lack of interest but I’m not sure I know how to do a tour. I’m in my eighties and do not remember ever being in one. I feared doing and saying things that were not appropriate. And I kept arguing with myself about going and finally said, “Lord, show me what to do.” 

The bus would leave at 10:00, not giving me a lot of time. When I sat at my desk at 9:00, the top page on a stack of old calendar pages I use for scrap was out of place. Before putting it right, I turned it over and it said, “Do the things you fear. . . .” offering reasons why. It was not the Bible, but it echoed it:

God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7)
So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)
Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil. (1 Peter 3:13–17)

Therefore I went, determined not to trust myself or listen to me, instead. And like a child with her hand in daddy’s hand, trusting God and speaking only when He prompted and I knew it was Him. Turned out the tour was a great experience in an incredibly well-run place. 

Jesus, I so often feel like a helpless child, but do not need to be fearful. You hold my hand and whisper in my ears and draw me close, giving me words to say, or not. After weeks of being ill and confined, entering normal life isn’t to be feared, even if it comes with an exam. Thank You for enabling faith.