Love is not irritable…

Last night we met with friends to study and pray, particularly for our families, but also for ourselves and the things that keep us from being like Jesus, even with our grown children. Several of them are not walking with the Lord and that is a focus for our time together. We are studying 1 Corinthians 13 in depth, particularly each statement that tells what love is like or not like. Last night, our concentration came from:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. (1 Corinthians 13:4–5)

Love is not irritable. This refers to not having a short fuse or a quick temper, but goes deeper. It is about retaliation when criticized, getting angry or just annoyed when things don’t go the way we want or expect. It is about a negative reaction when someone does something that is upsetting to us. If we love our adult children (or our spouse, or even God) it will not result in striking back in any way or even thinking it. Another way to say it is that love is gracious even when attacked. Jesus demonstrated it well:

For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. (1 Peter 2:19–24)

This example of how to respond to any sort of mistreatment is convicting. Even if I am not upset about personal harm, but irritable at anyone for anything, my response should be like His:

But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil. For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, (1 Peter 3:14–18)

One example: in the realm of what makes me feel loved, I am blessed when others hear me, give attention to my thoughts and discuss ideas with me. However, if I say something and the other person seems to ignore it, forget it, or otherwise treat me as if they didn’t even hear what I said, I feel unloved. This is painful and to escape pain, I am like many others — I get ticked, annoyed, or outright irritable and retaliate with complaining. This Bible study made me realize the selfishness of such a response. Love does not respond like that. If I obey the two great commands to love God and love others, they are really only one command. I show my love for God by how I love others. But if my attitude is irritation to anyone, I’m not loving them, nor am I loving God.

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. (1 John 4:20–21)

After all, whatever others do is under the sovereign will of God. If their actions bring out irritation in me, God is trying to show me something; that I’m not being loving. One quote says this: “… You have the choice to launch into your lousy habitual patterns, or to stay with the rawness and discomfort of the situation and let it transform you” to be more like Jesus, to trust Him even when things go awry.

PRAY: Jesus, not being irritated, even with small things, means being like You. You reserved ire for serious matters that offend God, and never reacted negatively to personal attacks, even in a small way. Oh my, I have a long way to go, with confessions and some apologies to make.