To Live is Christ — His Words spoken into my heart

Self-talk is not mere muttering to myself about what is going on, what to do next, or the mistakes being made. It  sometimes comes out as the words of God — speaking back to me what I need to hear.

The two verses from my devotional reading are the psalmist’s initial thoughts. He is feeling a spiritual drought, a sense that God is not near. 

As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? (Psalm 42:1–2)

Yet this psalm has more. The author says, “Why are you cast down, O my soul?” several times. He is in need, yet as he cries to God, he is not entirely negative. He also says,

The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me — a prayer to the God of my life. (Psalm 42:8)

Where did that come from? Then, toward the end as he asks the question to his soul again, he replies with, “Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” (Verse 11)

No one knows what this psalm writer was experiencing, but it seemed dire as he tried to unburden himself from some sort of pain or grief. He also rebuked himself for his feelings yet at the same time acknowledges that God is sovereign over the trials that are giving him so much sorrow. As he talks to himself, rebukes himself, and tells himself how he ought to be thinking, some of what he says offers incredible hope. Were these his words, or did God drop them into his mind, recording for future generations hope that we need also?

Who has not been in trouble and felt abandoned by God? Who has not poured out their heart as they felt cast down and in great discomfort? Who has not tried to talk to themselves about how they should be feeling, or at least how they want to feel?

This is why the psalms have a universal appeal. The writers held nothing back. They express great praise, but also great consternation. When overwhelmed by sorrow, the actions of their enemies, or a sense of personal shame over their sin, the psalm writers declare to God the innermost thoughts of all people everywhere who are in the same situation. We know we are not alone when we read these words. We know someone else has been there too.

Yet there is a difference. Sprinkled within the psalms, or declared at the end, each speaks of the grace and power of God. Each writer expresses certainty that God is alive and listening. They know that being in His presence will make troubles not only bearable, but give them inner strength to come out on top. I get a great sense that as they pour out their thoughts, God pours in His and both tumble out together in these marvelous words.

Spiritual drought is good for me. When I feel abandoned, I am pressed to seek Him with all my heart. When I do that, He never leaves me in frustration. As I speak to Him the emotions that I feel, words of hope appear, sprinkled through the darkest laments. From the psalms, His words are uttered back to me in my cries.

For this, I hope in God and praise Him. He is my Savior, the One who whispers truth into my soul and satisfies my deepest longings.