It’s okay to dump on God

For the past few days I’ve not felt quite right about my prayer time with the Lord. He hasn’t made me aware of sin that I need to confess, yet I’ve felt a bit distant. I know God didn’t move, so have wondered what is wrong with me.

Yesterday was hectic. I had several unexpected chores besides trying to get ready to take a week vacation. I intended to pray while waiting for my granddaughter outside a place where she had an appointment, but wound up running one of those unexpected errands. So I put my list on the night table, and felt dutiful to pray, rather than relational.

God must have heard me, because a still small voice told me, “Just listen, and pray what I put on your heart.” I did, and that helped, but this morning I was still thinking about my denseness, that feeling of not being quite with it while praying. Again, God came through with the reason and the answer.

Today’s devotional reading is about trusting God (I do) and that He is my refuge. (Where else can I hide or feel totally safe?). Psalm 62:8 speaks of both those things, but it was the line in the middle that opened my eyes and made my heart say, Yes, that’s it!

Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.

I’ve heard people say that they could not tell God all their troubles. Their reasons were something like, “He is too busy for my silly problems” or “It sounds too much like complaining and that would be a sin.”

Are not the shoulders of God big enough to take my burdens? Are not the ears of God strong enough to listen to my sorrows, even my complaints? Is not the heart of God big enough to gather in all that is on my heart and still have room to love me?

This verse is an invitation. God wants me to dump out the stuff that tends to build up but seldom makes it to my prayer list, stuff like how tired I get with the daily grind, or the anxiety I feel when my space seems always messy and I cannot work in it like that. Ordinary stuff, but I’ve learned that if I don’t talk to God about stuff like this, I either wind up complaining to other people, or my body starts to resent these little stresses and retaliates in one way or another.

I’d been praying. My prayer list is long and requests come in often, but I had not been talking to God about the stuff that bugs me. It seems too little. (He is not too busy for my silly problems!)

Also, I hate to complain. Yet I remember that Job complained throughout his story. He said what was on his heart, not only to his so-called friends, but to God. This man made no pretense about how he felt. He did not put on a brave front during his severe trials (much more severe than mine). Instead, he was the same on the outside as he was on the inside—and surprisingly, the Bible commends him for his integrity.

God says to pour out my heart. Life fills it up with a lot of sludge, and when I feel yucky I need to get rid of this stuff without worrying about dumping it on God. He does know what to do with it.