Redemption for regrets

“ . . . but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief” (1 Timothy 1:13).

In 20/20 hindsight, I look back on my life and at times shudder at the mistakes I’ve made, most of them to do with things like raising my kids, or relationship choices. I could comfort myself with “But I didn’t know any better. . . “ yet still beat myself up with condemnation that sounds more like “Ignorance is no excuse.” Regret is the worst six-letter word.

God is realistic about the mess we make of our lives. He calls it like it is and asks us to agree with Him. He says things like, “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” and “There is none righteous, no, not one; there is none who understands; there is none who seeks after God.”

The Apostle Paul realized this was true. He had been a zealous man, persecuting Christians and trying to earn his salvation by protecting what he thought was the right way to please God, but God opened his eyes. Paul realized he was “a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a violently arrogant man.” He confessed to God, agreeing he was a sinner, and he obtained mercy.

Some other Pharisees clearly understood Jesus’ teaching and rejected it, but Paul said that God was merciful because he did these things without faith and in ignorance. He honestly didn’t know any better. Does that make his ignorance and unbelief an excuse? A claim to innocence? Paul never denied what he had done. It seems more like he was saying he didn’t know God had another way for him to behave. He did what he did out of an honest conviction that he was right. When he saw otherwise, he willingly abandoned his old life and followed Christ.

Changing what I do now does not gloss over or wipe out consequences from past mistakes. My ignorant actions set in motion patterns that continue outside of my control. Some of them are grievous and slam at me words like “regret” and even “fool.” Yet I must look at what God says, not be crippled by echos.

Christ died for all my sins, both the wilful and those done in ignorance. He is merciful to everyone who comes to Him, whether our sins are from ignorance, defiance, or sheer stupidity. He grants loving forgiveness apart from any merit or lack of it. Mercy means grace toward those who don’t deserve it!

So, like Paul, I can “forget what is behind” and “press on toward the goal” of being more and more like Jesus. He wants me to live in the eternal now, enjoy the freedom of forgiveness and trust Him with the challenges of those echos. He says He can “work all things together for good” in my life — I can’t subtract stuff from the list of ‘all things’ just because they appear far too awful to be useful. While this does not excuse, or deny my guilt, the God who used the murder of His own Son to save sinners can use that same redemptive power to turn my regrets into instruments for His purposes.