"I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word" (Psalm 119:16 NIV).
I woke up sad. Seeking God seems too difficult. I don’t want devotions, prayer, or to write this. Despite past answers, past blessings, and my need for His strength, seeking His face feels like hard labor today. And what if I don’t hear His voice? Can I wait for Him — when my to-do list is long, my desk already messy with demands?
Charnock says that spiritual worship means my soul seeks God with great longing. I’m to “pant after the living God.” He says any desire to worship as an end is carnal; to desire it as a means for communion with God is spiritual and the fruit of a spiritual life. But this morning I don’t have either desire.
Just stubborn persistence. I try a few moments of silence. The Holy Spirit suggests Psalm 32 and 33. Some words of blessing from God:
“Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. . . . From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth — he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do. No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength . . . but the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.”
Reading Charnock is okay. He points me to my need for God, rebukes me, opens my mind to thoughts previously unknown, and reminds me of truths that I knew but have forgotten, but reading his book is not the same as reading the Bible. The Word of God points me to God, lifts me to His throne, takes me into His presence, floods me with grace. The difference is obvious; Scripture give life — other books just talk about it.
2 comments:
Elsie, I wish I knew you better when I had the opportunity to do so. That's what shy does, I guess. I am learning so much from you, of discipline, of determination, of hope, and of grace. Thanks for this entry, it meant a lot to me.
Hi,
Thanks for the encouragement. Some days writing a blog seems the least thing I want to do, but your comments have been God's way of saying to stick to it! Bless you!
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