Serenity and humility are both elusive like a shadow; as soon as I try to step into them, they move out of reach. Of course this is because the act of trying to attain either immediately means focusing on myself, and as soon as that happens, I cannot be humble or serene.
Today’s devotional reading is titled, “Securing
serenity” and offers excellent thoughts, such as a description of patients in a
mental home. He says they are totally wrapped up in themselves without a care
for the woes of others. As Romans 3:16 says, “In their paths are ruin and
misery” for they are not interested in God either.
Paul had a different take on life. He
cared deeply about God and others, but was not overtly concerned what they
thought of him . . .
This is how one should regard us, as
servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is
required of stewards that they be found faithful. But with me it is a very
small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do
not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am
not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce
judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the
things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then
each one will receive his commendation from God. (1 Corinthians 4:1–5)
For Paul, the praise of God was his
source of affirmation, not the judgment of anyone else. As I think about that, I
realize that when others praise me, it appeals to my pride. While I can use
words like confirmation, or edification, those are euphemisms. The bottom line
is that such talk builds my ego and makes me proud of myself. God has been
showing me that this is folly because pride and arrogance are not at all like Christ
and eventually lead to a downfall . . .
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but
with the humble is wisdom. (Proverbs 11:2)
Instead of trusting me or what others
think of me, I need that wisdom that comes from God alone. If I struggle with
feelings of inadequacy, they are not reversed nor am I built up by the praise
of others or by any sort of positive self-talk. I need instead to trust the Lord
and walk in the truth that He gives me . . .
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool,
but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered. (Proverbs 28:26)
Today’s reading points me to a psalm of
praise that amplifies these thoughts and helps me realize how silly I am to want
or rely on praise or the flattering words of others.
I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart; before the gods I sing your
praise; I bow down toward your holy temple and give thanks to your name for
your steadfast love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all
things your name and your word. On the day I called, you answered me; my
strength of soul you increased. All the kings of the earth shall give you
thanks, O Lord, for they have
heard the words of your mouth, and they shall sing of the ways of the Lord, for great is the glory of the Lord. For though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly, but
the haughty he knows from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you
preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies,
and your right hand delivers me. The Lord
will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your
hands. (Psalm 138:1–8)
Instead, God strengthens my soul. He regards
humble and lowly hearts. He alone gives that desired inner satisfaction and
serenity of heart.