Pride, humility, and kindness

Last night at Bible study, we were asked to share memories of people being kind to us, and then share when we had been kind to others. The most powerful story came from a woman who heard God telling her to help two different people, and she didn’t do it. Her heart was broken, and she burst into tears telling of her failure to obey the Lord. Some told of their opportunities to do good, but I cannot remember any of them. Humility seems more attractive and often is a rare attitude.

In my reading through the Bible today, these passages also speak to my heart:

“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” (Deuteronomy 8:2–3)

“Do not say in your heart, after the Lord your God has thrust them out before you, ‘It is because of my righteousness that the Lord has brought me in to possess this land,’ whereas it is because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord is driving them out before you.” (Deuteronomy 9:4)

Pride says, “I did it.” Humility gives glory to God. Tozer tells of a godly man named Macarius who was told in a letter that his spiritual advice had been helpful. He replied, “This cannot be, only the mistakes are mine. All good advice is the advice of the Spirit of God, His advice that I happened to have heard rightly and to have passed on without distorting it.”

Tozer goes on to say that this man’s humility was not an impulse, but a settled conviction. God is helping me understand what a settled conviction means. It isn’t an easy change for God must bring the proud to a place of helplessness, a mindset that is totally convinced that nothing can be done without Him. Convictions do all things for His glory, demonstrating who He is and what He is like. As the psalmist wrote . . .

Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness! (Psalm 115:1)

Last night I felt both conviction and pride. I thought “I’m not boastful” and at the same time heard the Spirit whisper, “Oh yes you are.” It seemed as if my old nature was standing hands on hips looking at the new nature for the first time and wondering who would be the first to bow and leave the room. However, I also knew that the old must go for it is ugly and unhelpful. Only the spirit of humility gives evidence to godliness — which is helpful, even attractive to others. As Tozer says, a humble spirit is a childlike, Christlike disposition. It is exclusively the effect of the almighty power of God upon the heart.

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Jesus, few people know and welcome helplessness. Sinful pride wants to be capable, even obedient so it can pat itself on the back. It can even boast that ‘no one knows about that good thing I did’ instead of bowing and leaving the room. Pride stutters to say, “No, I make mistakes.” Humility easily admits that whatever goodness was done came from the Lord God and was definitely a God-thing. I get it. Keep working on the helplessness part and with Your grace, perhaps I can do better with the humility part.

A good way to end the year

In the latter years of his life, the Apostle Paul expressed that his confidence was not in himself or his many credentials and accomplishments. He had a powerful life of influence yet his confidence remained solidly in Jesus Christ.

“For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh — though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more . . . . But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.” (Philippians 3:3–11)

Not too many days ago, I could fully relate to these verses. At least, my confidence seemed to be in Christ and I had my usual level of energy and ambition, but today, I realize how easily I can put my confidence in my health and energy levels. About two weeks ago, my heart went into mild A-Fib again. This had not been a big issue because it didn’t slow me down much. However, last night and today I feel as if a truck is sitting on my chest. We are sitting in an airport waiting for our flight to take us home, and I feel as if I am waiting instead for Jesus to take me home.

Perhaps this is just fatigue, the kind you feel if you sleep with a pillow over your head and cannot get enough air. I hope so. Yet regardless of what is going on, the psalmist gives me words of comfort.

 “Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.” (Psalm 73:23–28)

Paul also said about his confidence in Christ:

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained. Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us . . . . our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.” (Philippians 3:12–21)

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Jesus, right now the prospect of having my lowly body transformed to be like Your body is appealing. Maybe a couple days sleep will change things, but at the moment, I am particularly glad that You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Also, this is a good note on which to end 2017 and begin a new year — the note of helplessness and being completely dependent upon You.

I cannot save myself

I’ve been told it was a common practice in ancient Israel to worship God while sitting under a fig tree. This explains what happened when Philip brought Nathanael to Jesus . . .

Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!” Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” (John 1:47–48)

Nathanial had no idea that the One he worshiped was standing before him, but Jesus knew it and He knew Nathanial’s heart. He ‘saw’ that he was not a shrewd, deceptive, or crafty person. If Jesus was looking for character qualities in making His choices of disciples, this man had integrity.

Chambers takes a bit of a leap to apply this. He connects what Nathanael was doing before Jesus came along to what we do in our ‘hidden, personal, worshiping life’ before a big event. He then concludes that those big events, usually involving crisis, reveals the stuff we are made of.

This is often our experience, but Chambers adds that most people imagine being given what we need in that big crisis, but says “the big crisis will only reveal the stuff we are made of, it will not put anything into us.”

His main idea is that if we are doing the right things in the ordinary days, then when God brings us into a crisis situation, we will rise to the occasion, but if not, then we will be revealed as unfit, because the crises always reveals character. However, sometimes the crisis reveals something else.

I’m reminded of Corrie Ten Boom who relates her concern as a child that she would not be able to handle the events of life. Her father reminded her about their train rides and how she received her ticket just when she needed it. He said God was like that and would give her what she needed at the time she needed it.

Private worship is important, but I do not agree that the onus is on me for victory in trials. Chambers seems to suggest I must earn or deserve enabling grace by having good habits in personal worship, but my question to this idea is: who is my Savior?

Like Corrie’s father, my experience with any crisis is that God comes to my rescue. Sometimes those challenges reveal a need in my life, yet victory never depends on me, but on the Lord Jesus Christ who lives in me.

Some people might say, ‘I can’t be expected to live the sanctified life in the circumstances I am in; I have no time for praying just now, no time for Bible reading, my opportunity hasn’t come yet; when it does, of course I shall be all right.’

Of course they will struggle in trials, and perhaps that trial might help them get their devotional life in order, but our ability to stand firm is not our ability. It is a gift from Jesus. No matter how ‘well prepared’ I might be, trials always catch me by surprise, are always beyond my capacity, and I’m always surprised when God brings me through them anyway.