God promotes happy marriages

Numbers 30:1–16, 1 Corinthians 12:12–13:13, Psalm 25:1–22

Criticism of gender bias in the Bible usually happens when the critic does not know how badly women were treated in ancient times, or how God worked redemptively to bring change to the gender wars. Even the OT commands concerning men and women can be viewed from different perspectives. Consider the following example . . .

Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the people of Israel saying, “This is what the Lord has commanded. If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.” (Numbers 30:1–2)

It was not the same for a woman. If she made a vow, she had to keep it, unless . . .  “her father opposes her on the day that he hears of it, no vow of hers, no pledge by which she has bound herself shall stand. And the Lord will forgive her, because her father opposed her . . . . Any vow and any binding oath to afflict herself, her husband may establish, or her husband may make void. But if her husband says nothing to her from day to day, then he establishes all her vows or all her pledges that are upon her. He has established them, because he said nothing to her on the day that he heard of them. But if he makes them null and void after he has heard of them, then he shall bear her iniquity.” (Numbers 30:5; 13–15)

Obviously the regulations concerning vows were different for a man and a woman. However, a man might look at this and wonder why God gives women a way out of a vow, but not men. Or if he is somewhat arrogant, he might think that she gets the way out because she is frivolous, a ‘silly woman’ who is apt to make foolish vows.

A woman could view this regulation as unfair, that the man is honored above her and that God thinks she is some kind of lesser being because her father or her husband has more control of her decisions than she does. Or she could be happy about this rule because God is giving her a safeguard and protection against making a rash promise, something a man does not have.

When it comes to living out the gender battles (this war started in Eden and continues to this day), the NT teaches that marriage is an illustration that symbolizes the relationship between Christ and the church. I find that helpful. If I can relate to my hubby the way the church is to relate to Christ, great things happen!

Today’s NT reading is also helpful. Men and women are not alike, but two women are not alike either. Each person, regardless of gender, has gifts that make us unique. Paul writes that those differences do not change our status or usefulness in His kingdom . . .

“For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.” (1 Corinthians 12:14–20)

This applies to the church (body of Christ), but also states a fact about the differences between me and my husband. We are not alike because we have different gifts and serve different ways, not just in the church but also in our home. He takes care of chores that I don’t even notice. I do chores that he appreciates, but has no time to do. We share some things too.

In both marriage and church relationships, the key to appreciating God’s directions is not about such things as equality, or gender privilege, or who is the boss, or all the other issues that can bring division. The key is that “more excellent way” Paul points to at the end of 1 Corinthians 12 . . . 

“And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing . . . Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:2; 4–8)

God teaches (as does experience) that love is not entirely mushy emotion, physical attraction, or adoring feelings. These happen, but love is being like Jesus toward others. It is as Paul describes, and grounded solidly in trusting the Lord. I cannot control how others behave, or how they treat me, or that they love and obey God. But I can trust God. He will supply my “I wants” as He sees fit, and by whatever means He sees fit.

To this I say, “Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.” (Psalm 25:4–5)

The same God . . .

Numbers 29:1–40, 1 Corinthians 11:17–12:11, Psalm 24:1–10

The God of the OT is the same God in the NT. However, some of what God does and the way He treats sinners changes because of Jesus Christ. For instance, in the OT, forgiveness and grace for the sins of His people were tied to many, many offerings . . .

“These you shall offer to the Lord at your appointed feasts, in addition to your vow offerings and your freewill offerings, for your burnt offerings, and for your grain offerings, and for your drink offerings, and for your peace offerings.” (Numbers 29:39)

In the NT and because of Jesus Christ’s offering, we are not required to offer lambs and bulls and grain, but we are required to behave as His people. His instructions for life in His kingdom are specific. For instance, the instructions for sharing communion were given to a church that was rebuked for their carnal behavior. Paul said to them about their problems . . .

“But in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse. For, in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And I believe it in part, for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized.” (1 Corinthians 11:17–19)

A few verses later, he describes the seriousness of those problems: “Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself.” (1 Corinthians 11:27–29)

Some of that judgment involved their health, even their very lives: “That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world. So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another— if anyone is hungry, let him eat at home—so that when you come together it will not be for judgment. About the other things I will give directions when I come.” (1 Corinthians 11:30–34)

What does it mean to participate in the Lord’s Supper in an “unworthy manner?” Often, in today’s church we are told not to take communion if there is unconfessed sin in our lives, which is considered being “unworthy.” But when I hear that, I think, “Is that unconfessed sin only the sin that I know about? Everyone has unconfessed sin. Does that mean that the sin I don’t recognize isn’t going to make me unworthy? ”

For the answer to that, consider the context. Paul told them that their divisions and factions were being judged and disciplined by God. It seems to me then, that the unworthiness he is talking about is specifically what Paul pointed to; the sin of not getting along with other Christians. If that happens, we are not united around the Table and have no business honoring Christ when we are not honoring each other; the Body of Christ.

Paul is practical; he offered some truth that can help with the factions. He reminded his readers that Christians are not all the same . . . “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good . . .  All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.” (1 Corinthians 12:4–7; 11)

God gifts us in different ways, yet there is unity in this diversity because of the Holy Spirit. Learning to rely on Him means experiencing that unity. Relying on myself means seeing only the diversity and often fighting about our differences. This grieves the heart of God.

The OT saints had no instruction about spiritual gifts and about how to find unity. Nevertheless, they were to love one another too. If not, they had to sacrifice more animals to make sure their sins were covered. If that seems harsh, it is no more demanding than the NT call to love and unity. The psalmist agrees and places another marker for what pleases God. His priority is not on offerings for sin, but on a changed life that avoids sin with honesty and integrity . . .

Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? And who shall stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation.” (Psalm 24:3–5)

All these words encourage me to persevere. Only Jesus can produce clean hands and a pure heart. Only Jesus can produce unity. Today, I’m being tested (nothing new), but the God of my salvation will bless me and enable me to rely on Him.