Weeping is acceptance

If North Americans have a common god it is happiness. The mantra goes something like, “I just want to be happy” or “As long as you are happy. . . .”

A young friend was thinking a similar way about health, particularly healthy children. She notices how many times people say about babies, “As long as it is healthy. . . .” as if having a child that was not perfectly well would be a terrible disaster. For that reason, good health and certainly enough money could be called our gods too, but the real god is happiness because health and money are actually just part of what most people consider necessary to being happy.

I’m reading the same verse today as yesterday, but yesterday I left off the last part of it. The full verse says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).

God is a joyful God, but God also weeps with those who weep. John’s gospel tells of the death of Lazarus. Jesus went to the scene and “when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, ‘Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.’” Her grief was deep, yet she knew the power that Jesus had and added to her grief was the idea of “if only.”

Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!” (John 11:32-36)

The Jews thought that Jesus wept because He had lost a good friend, but I don’t think so. He knew that He was about to raise this man from the dead. He also knew that physical death is not the end of life. He would see Lazarus again.

No, I believe that Jesus wept because Mary and her sister Martha wept. He felt their sorrow, and because He is a God of compassion, He wept with those who wept.

It happened once in my life. The details are too personal and perhaps too precious to write into a blog, but one time when my sorrow and grief were deeper than I can bear, Jesus wept with me, and left me with the absolute certainty of His love and identification with my pain. I will never forget His demonstration of compassion.

This is why we must weep with those who weep. People need to know that our god is not happiness. To tell someone to “cheer up” or any equivalent of trying to make them smile or be happy is telling them we will not accept their sorrow. Weeping with them says the opposite, that we love them and are willing to forego our own sense of well-being in order to feel their pain with them.

God does that. While He loves to bring us joy and make us feel wonderful, when we do not, He never rejects our emotions. Instead of telling us to cheer up, He lets us feel our grief and sorrow, but even more, He feels them as deeply as we do and weeps with us.

Mercy is an action word

In Bible times, names have more significance about the person’s character and life than they do these days. For instance, one of the Old Testament prophets has a name that means “Who is like the Lord?” and that prophet used a bit of a word play when he finished writing his prophetic book. Near the end, he asks this question, obviously based on his name:

Who is a God like You, pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:18-19)

Micah’s play on words is an important question. Who indeed is like God? The idols and gods of those days could hardly be described as merciful, nor were the people. Mercy was not considered a particularly ideal virtue. Compared to God, everyone fell short.

Mercy means “compassion for the miserable” and is the aspect of God’s love that causes Him to help those in misery. It goes hand in hand with grace, which is the aspect of His love that moves Him to forgive the guilty.

I’m not often in misery, but when I am, it is either because I’ve sinned and feel deep conviction and sorrow, or I’ve been hit with circumstances that are difficult and sad.

God shows compassion toward me when I sin, but not because I deserve it. I should face His justice and eternal damnation, but instead, God offers the sacrifice of Jesus Christ to take the penalty for my sin. However, God’s mercy on sinners extends beyond withholding punishment. Instead of merely keeping me out of hell, mercy also offers forgiveness and eternal life.

As His believing child, God also shows mercy by actively helping me when I am miserable due to circumstances. Last month I was fearful about the pain of impending dental surgery and told 1-2 people. They prayed. I had hardly any pain and am amazed at the goodness of God. That is His mercy in my circumstances.

In thinking how my misery calls forth God’s mercy, I remember when my children were small and suffered from sore throats, runny noses, congestion, and assorted aches and pains. All they could do was throw their little arms around my neck and cry. As a parent, that evokes pity. I sat up at night trying to relieve their distress in any way I could because their misery called forth my mercy.

I read another story that illustrates the mercy of God even more clearly. A man was caught and taken to court because he had stolen a loaf of bread. When the judge investigated, he found out that the man had no job, and his family was hungry. He had tried unsuccessfully to get work and finally, to feed his family, he had stolen a loaf of bread.

Although recognizing the extenuating circumstances, the judge said, “I’m sorry, but the law can make no exceptions. You stole, and therefore I have to punish you. I order you to pay a fine of ten dollars.”

He then continued, “But I want to pay the fine myself.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out a ten-dollar bill, and handed it to the man. As soon as the man took the money, the judge said, “Now I also want to remit the fine.”

That is, the man could keep the money. “Furthermore, I am going to instruct the bailiff to pass around a hat to everyone in this courtroom, and I am fining everyone in this courtroom fifty cents for living in a city where a man has to steal in order to have bread to eat.” The money was collected and given to the defendant.

This is an excellent example to illustrate God’s mercy because it also shows how His justice is fully served. The penalty was paid in full, yet mercy and grace were also demonstrated in full measure.

Besides filling my heart with gratitude toward my merciful God, how is this practical for me? The Apostle James asked this convicting question: “If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,’ but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?” (James 2:15-16)

While some are more gifted in showing mercy than others (I’m more in the category of ‘others’), the implication is obvious. I am to be merciful to those who are miserable. Words are not enough, nor are the feelings of concern and compassion. If God puts a cold or hungry person in my path, then I’m to wrap them in a blanket and give them something to eat.