We knew a man who always sat in the last row or took the seat farthest away from the speaker or his host. When I noticed his consistent pattern, I asked him about it. He gave his reason from the words of Jesus.
When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this person,’ and then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. (Luke 14:8–11)
The Bible often says to “humble yourself” and I’ve often wondered exactly how does a person do that? The man we knew did something very simple. Although he held at least one PhD, was well-respected in the church and in all human measurements had qualities that should allow him to sit wherever he wanted, he chose the lowest place.
This is in keeping with humbling oneself, yet in a world that tells us the opposite, humility is not a popular characteristic. Too often it is confused with self-abuse of some sort, or self-pity, or poor self-esteem, or at the very least, a lack of self-confidence. However, God says that He is close to those who are humble and contrite of heart. He also says that humility is being like Jesus.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3–8)
God’s ways are not like our ways. In the ultimate act of love, God the Son took the lower place and became a man. Then He took an even lower place by becoming a servant to God and to man. Serving our deepest need required that He die for our sins. He humbled Himself even more, and for Him, the lowest place became a tomb.
The cross and the tomb are an offense to the modern mind, not just because Jesus sets the example of humility, but because it plainly declares God’s evaluation of our sinfulness. Our sin is so serious in the mind of God that He sent His only Son to pay the penalty for it. This is an affront to pride, a slap in the face of all self-confidence and self-exaltation. It puts every human being in the lowest place.
Yet the words of Jesus promise to the humble something more. His words add a call to “move up higher.” So does the passage from Philippians as it adds what happened to Jesus after He took the lowest place.
Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:9–11)
To humble myself does not have to involve something so dramatic as dying. Instead of picking the best view, the nicest looking options, the most comfortable chair, all I need to do is take a back seat and let others be more significant.
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Lord, I selected Philippians 2:3-4 as my verses for this past year. (Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.) There have been some changes, for which I am thankful and attribute to Your grace. Yet I must confess the many times I think of myself first. Continue to remind me that true confidence is not about me. Instead, it is found in being like Jesus.
Three days of studying two verses has amazing results. I knew about not letting the sun go down on anger, even though I have not been 100% obedient to that. I also knew that minor annoyances are just as much anger as a full-blown temper loss. However, the thoughts of these verses have given me a far greater sensitivity to anger than ever before.
“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26–27)
I’ve not thought of myself as an angry person, yet when anger is defined as the Bible defines it, my irritation at not having things go the way I want them to go is anger. Recognizing these irritations as selfishness and confessing them as sin gives God the opportunity to forgive and cleanse me, not just from getting ticked about little things, but from the self-determination that so easily governs my life.
I often say that I need to get out more. It could be helpful. My husband and our new boarder are involved in a part of the world that is foreign to me. Between the two of them, I hear stories of engineering problems, employee interactions, desperately sick children, and problems with contracts. My world is withing the walls of my home with limited interaction with family, writers, artists, and my Sunday morning Bible class. Because of my lifestyle, rarely do I have to deal with major conflicts. When I do, I’ve so little experience with such things that I can easily go to God for solutions.
For that reason, and while I hate to admit it, more often the little things get me. Add some small stuff to my day, particularly things that pile on extra work or interfere with my schedule, and I can feel annoyed. These verses and the related things that God has shown me add up to a total condemnation of such annoyance. At the same time, God’s revelations about anger and its source have led to changes and to freedom, for which I am grateful.
The last part of this passage is the reason all of this is important. It says that sinful anger not promptly confessed and repented from is “giving place” to the devil. Another version translates this as “giving opportunity” to Satan — that he might use my anger to cause harm.
Jesus called Satan a liar and the father of lies, and a destroyer. Anger is a breeding ground for lies, starting with the one about, “you made me angry” instead of the truth that admits, “It was my choice to get mad.” Anger is also destructive. If not handled biblically, it can ruin health, inner peace, relationships and more. This destruction is Satan’s plan, not God’s. While God can use anger to teach humility, to make me aware of my selfishness, and on rare cases, make others aware of their offenses, He obviously offers better ways to deal with these things.
There is a righteous anger described in a previous post. It is from God and is my response to seeing myself or someone else violating His will. However, He does not give anyone a “righteous indignation” to harm or destroy, but to restore and heal, two things that Satan never wants.
Even these brief thoughts on anger from God’s perspective and from the perspective of how the devil can use it are making me aware how even my minor and often unspoken irritations are part of spiritual warfare. The enemy of souls can use my selfishness to have his way in my life and in the lives of those around me. On the other hand, the God of my life can use a proper response to anger to have His way in my life, even to affect those around me.
Also, these verses do not condemn anger — for anger is not the problem. My responsibility is to discern its source, and refuse to let any selfish anger motivate me to sin. Instead, God tells me to get over that kind of anger quickly, because there are bigger things at stake than me getting or not getting my own way.
We have a young Christian woman staying with us for a few months. She was telling me this week about the first time someone corrected her regarding anger. She had said that one person “made me mad” and another person told her that she could not blame anyone else; her anger was her choice and no one else was causing it.
“But that person did . . . and if they had not done it, I would not be mad.”
That sounds familiar. All our lives we have heard people say, “You (or he or she) make me angry.” We’ve said it to our children, our spouse, and even ourselves. By doing this, we give other people and outside actions control over how we respond to life. When I say it that way, then I see my anger in a different light.
Just as I have a choice to be patient in traffic (those other drivers are not out there trying to make me impatient – they don’t know I exist), I have a choice in how I respond to the actions of others. God knows that I might respond in anger, an anger that seems to be spontaneous and without choice. For that reason, He says,
“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26–27)
However, the more I think about anger and about this verse, the more I am convicted that at the root of my “spontaneous” anger is a selfishness that far too often governs my choices. I’m also thinking how I need to deal with this root when it comes to the little annoyances. If I can identify my selfish issues, it is easier to calmly choose patience. It is also easier to think about the needs of others. If I can do that with the minor stuff, it should be easier with the larger issues.
Example. I’m rushing to finish my chores before supper and my hubby calls from work and asks me to bring something upstairs that he would normally get himself while I am setting the dinner table. It is a 60-second job, but selfishness sees it as annoying. On the other hand, if I am obedient to the Holy Spirit, I can see this as an opportunity for a kindness. His knee might be sore and he doesn’t want to do the stairs or he just called for any excuse because he is having a bad day. Annoyance is a mild anger and it is also a choice.
What about the big things? Recently a person I thought was a friend accused me of several things that were not true. I’d shared the gospel with her as lovingly as I could, but she lashed at me personally in a defensive and angry response. I felt wounded and betrayed. This was not fair. I could go the selfish route and strike the same posture, defending myself too, and retaliating with barbed words. Anger was there, threatening to boil over.
After lots of prayer and admitting my attitude to God, He told me what to do: “Be still, and know that I am God,” a familiar phrase from the Psalms. I sensed that He would vindicate me if that was needed, but more important, He would work in this person’s heart. I didn’t need to say or do anything because this was His department of expertise. Instead of responding, I have been praying for her almost every day.
Thinking about anger during my quiet time is making me think about anger during ordinary life. God does give me a choice. I can choose to be patient, yet if I, without thinking, make the choice to blow up, He still offers me another choice — I can humble myself and deal with the anger before the sun goes down.
