Unanswered prayer? One reason . . .

People do not always agree and get along. I read and watch mysteries and even though most are fiction, they are based on this reality. Someone wants something they cannot have so they harm others trying to get it. Mostly, that thing they cannot have is a selfish desire. For this, God says:

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (James 4:1–4)

The root of the problem is selfishness, another word for sinfulness. The object of desire could be legitimate but in this description the reason for wanting it is all about me, me, me. As a Christian, all I have to do is ask God for those things that I need, even the things that I want, but if my motivation is to bless myself or glorify myself, or make me the star, then the prayer will not be answered. I have made my wants and my stuff more important than listening to and obeying God.

It happens. I’m too embarrassed to name some of what I’ve asked for wrongly and God said no. I’m ashamed of the emotions that rose up because I didn’t get what I wanted and the arguments I’ve been in for the same reason. Yet if it were not for those experiences, I’d not know the reality of a couple of big reasons that God does not answer prayer.

One is that I do not ask. I assume I can get it for myself, perhaps knowing in my heart that it is the wrong thing to ask for anyway.

The other is that I ask but with that selfish motivation that this thing is for me, to satisfy me, to make me the winner, to do for me what I should not want but am asking anyway.

There are lessons learned from being selfish. While God often shields my foolishness from the public eye, just knowing that others see how I’m thinking and acting is awful. Worse yet, knowing I’m putting myself above the care and wisdom of God is humbling. For this, I should be thankful. The alternative, a hard heart, would make the next few verses meaningless . . .

But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. (James 4:6–10)

From being so selfish and from realizing God becomes deaf to my selfish prayers makes me realize my pride and the way the devil manipulates my thinking. It also makes me realize that this passage has a logical sequence. It is summarized at the beginning: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” This is well described in the next lines.

Submit to God comes first. There is no power to resist Satan or my own selfishness while I try to hang on to it. I cannot serve Him while I am trying to serve me.

Resist the devil comes on the heels of submitting to God. Stop listening to the devil’s lies and destructive suggestions. If I am yielded to God, he must leave and he does. Sometimes it takes me a while to figure out what I’ve held back from God, but once that happens (and is confessed) the pressure is off. I win — by giving up!

The reset of it is easy. Mourning over sin is not fun, but in the end, God exalts me. That is always unexpected, even though I know this verse. God is utterly amazing!

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Jesus, there are times when I’ve prayed, “You are my Savior, save me” and You come to the rescue. However, there are times when I’ve prayed, “Give me . . . .” and asked for foolish and sinful things. I’m so glad that You are not like a genie in a bottle that grants every wish. You keep me from the silliness and sinfulness of myself. For that, I praise and thank You.

Today’s thankful list . . .

The Word of God that tells me how to live in victory.

The energy that comes with freedom from selfishness.

Ability to choose.

Finally being able to get my sister on the phone.

My personal trainer who refuses me the luxury of whining.

Being able to record rugby games in the middle of the night to watch the next day.

Crisp cold air with sunshine.

Salmon sandwiches on homemade bread.

Wars and rumors of wars . . .

Daily news is depressing. Besides the ‘human-interest’ stories about fallen leaders, terrible accidents, sickness and harm to innocents, there are ongoing conflicts that make me wonder if there is any desire on either side for resolution and peace. A quick look at a Wikipedia page shows four major wars with 10,000 or more deaths in current or past year, six with 1000-9999 deaths, 25 with less casualties yet many of these have been brewing for decades, and 17 skirmishes and clashes with fewer than 100 deaths in the current or past year. That is too many.

Fighting seems so normal that most people don’t give it much thought unless they are in one of those battles or have a loved one ‘gone to war’ and fighting with one side or the other. The causes? It began thousands of years ago when one brother became jealous of his sibling because his own offering was not pleasing to God and his brother’s offering was accepted:

The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. (Genesis 4:6–8)

Anger against another can cause strife as can other negative attitudes and desires. The New Testament puts it this way:

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (James 4:1–4)

This passage puts selfish desires at the root of fighting among individuals, even groups. These desires include power over others, having more stuff, gaining respect and so on. God’s Word says our desire to run our own lives is sinful, an “I want what I want when I want it” attitude. If denied, this can lead to a spat or even a full-scale war.

What is the cure? God goes to the root of the problem. He sent Jesus to take the punishment we deserve for our selfishness and then offers us a new heart, a new attitude. He describes how this worked concerning the conflict between Gentiles and Jews, speaking to the Gentiles:

. . . Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit. (Ephesians 2:11–22)

This is the Gospel and this is God’s solution for war. What is most interesting is that in today’s world, those who take the Gospel to the world are often treated like enemies and forbidden to speak, even killed. People would rather fight to get their way and even die in that fight than yield to God and let Him have His way, a way of life and peace.

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Lord Jesus, I desire peace in the world. It begins with total contentment in my own heart. It also means praying in great faith in You to do what You alone can do. I need to trust You that no matter what happens in the daily news, You are the Prince of peace. Your will is primary and will be done, regardless of the horrors in the world and anyone’s desire to want heaven on earth right now.

Today’s thankful list . . .

So many things to think about and pray about.

A walk outside to do both.

Hubby’s call from work just to chat.

Balancing my bank accounts.

Fried chicken and fresh peaches.

The pleasant fatigue from hard work.

Goals affect prayers, prayers affect life . . .

If my goals in life are to be happy, comfortable and popular, my prayers will show it. If my goal in life is to glorify Jesus, that will also affect my prayers. Tozer says if my goal is just praying, then I could be substituting prayer for obedience and that will not work . . . unless of course God is telling me to pray.

Even then, there are ways to pray that are not going to work. I cannot pray with known sin in my life. God wants that cleared up first. Unfortunately, I can be in sin and not realize it. Some things are obvious but there are attitudes that creep in and go unnoticed, at least until they show up in actions. One of those is as already mentioned — having unbiblical goals that interfere with serving the Lord. James describes the result:

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” (James 4:1–4)

What does it mean to be a ‘friend of the world’? It is a common problem and can go unnoticed. Here is one description:

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” (1 John 2:15–17)

This is about putting my human and sinful desires in first place. These ‘I-wants’ can be obviously sinful or selfish, but also can look good on the surface but inside have ruined my heart for God. Most of the time worldliness can also be defined as a great preoccupation with temporary things to the point that I no longer want what God wants. As the first Scripture passage says, this can result in conflict with others. No matter the external manifestation, my love for Him has grown cold.

Tozer says the only ‘cure’ is to recognize this for what it is and confess it as sin. I cannot renew myself; only the Holy Spirit can do that.

Tozer also notes that people can be in bondage to inconsequential matters rather than real sin, like worry about wearing the right clothes. For this and all other attitudes, God’s Holy Spirit is my prompter and guide, giving “good sense” along with my conscience. He wants me to pray about everything, asking for clarity and wisdom, not for stuff that merely makes me look and feel good.

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Jesus, You teach many practical things and remind me over and over that You care about all details, all attitudes and actions of my life. I want to glorify You and know how easily other motivations for life can creep in and take over. I’m so thankful that You are my Savior!